A Story Along The Way

Not sure where you wanted the edits? Is this the kind of thing you are looking for... The story overview reminds me of a movie I once saw but that is trivial and doesn't really matter anyway. You can always find similarities with any story to another. It is your story and it can be unique. The blog title writing to infinity thought that was super idea but I see & & & wondering if that is just my computer distracting no big deal. In Day 1 “Loita Rain Pelirose.” A faceless voice called into the hollow room. I'm unsure about this but you decide of course. Would that be better reversed what is said after the description? also.. “Karmen, be serious. Neither your father nor I can help you if you get sent to the Scanties.” I find at the beginning of the story I don't know the characters so at the beginning it is better for me if I see "dialogue," said Character Name. When I get to know the characters then I am better deciding who is talking in the story. hope this helped ps: I would appreciate some reads and edits too of some of my writing perhaps in the distant future?