Depression and Low-Self Esteem

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While most people don't get the connection between depression and low-self esteem, there are those who suffer from both who also understand very clearly how this spiral can get out of control. As a person who also suffers from these diseases, and yes they are diseases, I have first hand experience in wondering if one of these days my depression will lead me to being suicidal. I don't want to die, but sometimes I wonder if one of these days, breaking those chains that haunt me will be as easy as everyone claims it is. For one, depression is a mental disease in which the person who suffers can't find things to be happy about. This can lead to feelings of apathy and anger, or even just a desire to be asleep all the time. It can also lead to physical pain that can affect the way the person moves or reacts to things outside of their realm of control. Pain is the brains' one way of ensuring that the body is feeling defeated, and only adds to the depression even more with thoughts of "Why can't I do this anymore" and "I'm always so tired" being the leading explanations the sufferer uses when telling themselves that they simply can't do something. According to the statistics, only about nine percent (9%) of the American population suffers from depression, but those are people who seek help. There are a greater number of people who suffer from depression who don't seek help. These are people who don't see their depression as anything to worry about, who think to themselves "I only get a little blue every once in a while" and that is alright. However, it's not. Especially when paired with low self-esteem. Back when I was growing up, nobody cared about whether you had good or bad self-esteem, and by the time they started caring it was too late. For the most part the damage was done and there was nothing but a shock to the system that would correct it. I was one of the ones who had very low self-esteem, but I hid it very well. There are sometimes when, even as an adult, I feel like I hide my mental diseases better than others. But hiding something isn't the way to get help for it. For someone who has low-self esteem, statements like "You're always sick" and "Your job is nothing more than a hobby" really tears down the walls that have been built up for the sake of confidence. When I began my first business, I heard from everyone about how I would never succeed, and my business nearly didn't even get off the ground because of it. In fact, for five (5) years I didn't do more than give my product away rather than sell it. When I began writing, those same people who put me down about my crafting business were back again, and once more it was a challenge to do more than 15 minutes worth of writing for the sites that had hired me. My thoughts? "If the people who are supposed to support me don't even see this as a liable source of income, who am I to think otherwise?" My reasoning? They were older than I and therefore more likely to be wiser. However, I had three very special reasons to keep pressing on. I knew I would never be able to work in the outside world, and therefore doing things my own way was the only way to provide for those special reasons. Many depression sufferers also have low-self esteem. It's because, their depression gets a hold of them, and they can't shake it. It eats at their mind, their foundation, making them doubt everything about themselves. They can't laugh, cry, or feel anything without over-analyzing it or disregarding it as unimportant. Love is that much harder to achieve, and once it is achieved they hold on to it with everything they have. Any emotion is held on to as tightly as possible because it's so hard to feel when in the midst of a depressive spiral that is fueled by recriminations that were begun by feelings of no self-worth. There is hope though. Science is bringing out new medications that aid with depression, and there are therapists out there that aid with low self-esteem. I wouldn't recommend going to your church for counseling, as you don't need some religious experience to help you get back to where you need to be, but I would suggest seeing a therapist. Someone trained to help you fight...well yourself for what you want in life. I had to do it alone, but that doesn't mean others out there have to as well. Do I struggle? Everyday. Do I fight? Not as often as I should, but when I feel swamped I fight as hard as I can. Is it something I will live with for the rest of my life? Oh yes. But I have my reasons to keep fighting. And without them, I wouldn't be here to encourage whomever is reading this to keep fighting as well. Seek help, don't do it alone like me.