Did I make a mistake?
By glasser3
@glasser3 (354)
Hibbing, Minnesota
August 6, 2015 3:51pm CST
Back when I was a teenager, I met a beautiful girl through another female friend of mine (we were not involved in any way just friends from high school) and a relationship blossomed we dated for a few months before her Grandfather, also her legal guardian at the time, found out and forced us to stop seeing each other. A few months later we rekindled that romance for a couple months before she abruptly ended things once again. To this day I'm not sure why that happened.
Anyway, fast forward a few years later we had both moved to different states, and I was engaged to my now ex-wife when she reached out to me again online and we spoke a few times. She was in a very bad living situation and attempted to get me to break off my engagement to come save her from her current situation. For a split second the thought did cross my mind as she was in my opinion my first true love. But I was also happily engaged.
Needless to say I offered her information on a few resources she could use to help her in her situation at that time and shortly after quit talking to her for fear of ruining my relationship with my then fiancee and I thought the rest was history.
I am now separated and divorced two years from my wife, then fiancee, and a big part of me now wonders what could have been and if she's in a better situation. I am still in contact with one of her friends who only hears from her a few times a year even though they only live 30 minutes apart.
Last night for the first time in over a year, I spoke with her friend, also my friend, and told her that if she hears from her to just let her know I was wondering how she was doing and to pass my number onto her if she wants it. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do but It's weird, we only dated for maybe 5 or 6 months total but I just cant stop wondering if shes okay, and what I should have done.
Honestly in retrospect I feel like I should have taken option two back when me and my ex wife were just engaged as that relationship hurt me in more ways then I could ever begin to explain. I guess that's human nature though to wonder what could have been. I'm just not sure I made the right decision this time in trying to reach out to her now.
4 people like this
4 responses
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
7 Aug 15
I think a lot of us have a situation where we wonder what might have been if we'd only made a different decision. Hindsight is always clearer than having to make decisions before seeing what they will lead to. We have to make decisions with incomplete information. There is no guarantee that if you had broken your engagement to rescue your first love that it would have turned out any better.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Aug 15
@glasser3 a lot of this could be rebound you know. at times when we are hurt we want instant relief. thats why i say go slow on this
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@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
7 Aug 15
Reading your story, I remembered the poem "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. Life often brings us to situations where we have to choose one path and after walking on it for several years we often regret for not choosing the other path.
I really don't think you made any mistake in trying to approach her. If you are still thinking about her, it surely means you have feelings for her. None of us know what lies in our future, but surely if there is something in your heart, you must make an attempt to reach out to it which you did. I just hope you get a positive news about your first love.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Aug 15
i think if she dropped you twice, then decided to take back up with you its best if you go slow and not chance the heart ache again. try and keep it slow. sounds like she is kind of in the same position as not knowing what she wants for good
@allknowing (137822)
• India
7 Aug 15
This is a matter of the heart and unless the head works in tandem mistakes are bound to happen. You need to move with the flow and just see how it pans out.
@glasser3 (354)
• Hibbing, Minnesota
7 Aug 15
Your right @allknowing, that's all I can do. I have no idea how things will turn out or where things will go but I'm cautiously optimistic that something good might come of this.
If nothing else I guess I will know at least I tried to make contact with her and at the very least make sure she's in a better place then she was last time we spoke.
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