Fear

I'm certainly fond of routine and the 'sameness' of things. I have sometimes been unsettled, even frightened, when circumstances look as though they're about to change radically and I am almost always scared out of my mind if I am asked to speak to a group of people though, strangely enough, I can introduce and sing a song in front of an audience of thousands without any qualms at all. As long as I know in advance that things will change and will have to change and can see, at least, the basic patten of that change, I can cope with it. Any fear I have simply opens my ability to adapt and evaluate each step of the change as it happens and I am usually confident and competent at coping with it. I am not sure (because your description doesn't make it clear) whether that matches your fear - probably not, because, in my case, it is not one but many fears. Fear of making a fool of myself (when I know that I'm required not to); fear of forgetting my agenda; fear that people will not understand what I want to say (even though I may have written my lecture or speech verbatim); fear that I may sound too pompous or too light, be over-wordy or too colloquial so that I either bore my audience or that they may not take me seriously. Most of these come down, one way or another, to a fear of what people might think of me and that is something over which I have no control. I don't think that it's possible to fear things which you know that you can control but if you are not sure that you can control something (such as your emotions or blushing or the pitch of your voice) then that is when you begin to lose confidence in yourself and actually fear your lack of trust in yourself. No, I can't guess what name you give to your fear.

I am also a person who likes structure in my life. I like having a routine and anything out of that routine can cause turmoil. For me, I think it is always about control.

This is a part of life's lesson. How we go up against the fears in our lives. Isn't it our own lack of confidence that causes fear? If we know that we are doing the best we can and walking toward life in as positive and honest a way as we can then what do we have to fear? I would let it go. Tell myself I am doing the best I can and I won't be afraid anymore. Take it a day at a time.

at least you know and acknowledge that there is something wrong with you. I mean the "fear" the change maybe. that's the first step. and what the most important thing among all of these fears.. is that you are able to conquer it and stepped on it. Congratulations, you have just proven that you are a human being. We all have fears, doubts, sadness, happiness and anxiety, it is all by means because we are humans.