How Do You Respond When Kids Say Something About Special Needs?
By dashboardc33
@dashboardc33 (314)
August 26, 2015 9:21am CST
My daughter is five and is very curious. When we go to the YMCA sometimes there are special needs children and adults there. I always try to veer her attention the opposite way so she doesn't say anything about them. I don't even know how to respond if she does. What are you supposed to say if your child asks, "Why do they look like that?" "Why do they talk funny?" etc.
2 people like this
4 responses
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
26 Aug 15
I normally pull her aside and talk to her quietly. I explain that some people look, talk and act differently, because that is the way they were made. I explain that they have feelings just like everybody else, so saying or doing something to them that would hurt their feelings, such as staring or making fun of them, would be wrong. I tell her that I do not want anyone to hurt her feelings, and I do not want her to hurt anybody else's feelings.
If she has any questions, then I try to answer them as best I can for her age level. I think that asking questions is actually a good thing, because it not only satisfies their curiosity but also makes them more open to the differences in people ... usually knowledge is power and people fear what they do not know or understand.
1 person likes this
@dashboardc33 (314)
•
26 Aug 15
That is a good idea to pull her aside. So you don't say anything at that point in time? Do you just kind of ignore it for now? How old is your daughter? It was nice when they were in their young toddler years and didn't even notice. By age, 3 or 4 they start to get very curious and ask so many questions!
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
26 Aug 15
@dashboardc33 No, I do address it at that point in time, but I don't do it right in front of the person. I would say something like "come here for a minute" and then kneel down to her level and talk with her in a lowered voice. That way, it does not embarrass or offend anyone regardless of what you say, even though you are not saying anything wrong.
My child is eight now, but I have done things that way ever since she first started asking "why".
@dashboardc33 (314)
•
26 Aug 15
That's true, but what if the other kid's parent is there? What doe you say to not be embarrassed about it and want to go crawl in a hole? "Everyone is made different"? Or perhaps, "That's the way they were born"? I'm not sure how to respond to make the other parent not think I'm being rude or mean.
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
6 Sep 15
There isn't one answer for this because it really does depend on the child's maturity level and ability to understand things. If you're worried about approaching the situation then and there, getting a book with a special needs character or watching a show about them can be a good "in" for a conversation in a situation where the questions won't be offensive to anyone.
As the parent of a special needs child, I find a lot of other kids come up to interact with him, and it's never been too big a problem for us. Making a habit of regularly talking to kids about diversity can take care of a lot of embarrassing situations before they happen, but unless someone is obviously overwhelmed - having a bad day or whatever - it's probably not a huge deal. Just be sure your kid knows to treat everyone like a person, even if they're different.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
27 Aug 15
Children are so curious and innocents too so they wish to know whatever come to their notice. Most of the time parents face a tough time to explain in an appropriate way. Try to answer the way they can understand. The answer should not be complicated and make them confuse.
