Double Standards and kids

I hate the saying "do what I say and not what I do", this is a nonsense, I only believe in "be a role model". This not only apply to children education.

If you want your children to do what is right. Show them and teach them what is right.

I can see it from both perspectives. As a child, I hated (and still do to some extent) that "do as I say, not as I do thing," but now that I'm older I understand it. It just took time and a new perspective. I don't know you or your father, but maybe your father was hard on you because he wanted something better for you? Not everything is easy, and maybe that was the best way he knew to get you there. It's easy to say, "Don't smoke," if you're a smoker because you've made that mistake. You know the road it leads down. My grandparents both smoked. My grandfather developed lung issues due to it. Yes, he did quit smoking, but before that it would've been something that he didn't want his children/grandchildren to do because he was already at the other end of that choice. He knew where it led, and while he had already made that decision, it was one he didn't want his family to follow. My parents were sometimes hard on me and I hated it. I would come home with a B and my mother would ask why it wasn't an A. I'd get an A, why wasn't it an A+? It drove me insane because an A should be good enough. But that was the thing. Yeah, it was good enough, but I was capable of more! Instead of blowing the test off until the last minute, I could get that A+ by studying. It was a lesson I eventually learned, and that's what my mother was trying to tell me, but at the time I didn't see it that way. I had no car or license senior year, either. I wanted something, I went out and got it. I did have my permit, and early senior year I did finally get my license because I bugged my mother enough until she finally caved and taught me, despite her reservations (I can't imagine why! I'm not at all clumsy...) I found a way to get the places I needed. When my parents couldn't drop me off (because they couldn't always) I had friends in the area I could ask, or I walked, or I found an alternative method. I made sure I had a way to meet my obligations. Got a job next to my father's house so that I could take the bus there after school since I had no ride elsewhere, and it was one of the best darn jobs I've ever had. Now, as a parent, I don't ever say, "Do as I say, not as I do," but sometimes that's what I mean. I've made mistakes in my life that I don't expect my daughter to follow. I bite my nails. Yes, I call her on it if she does, and sometimes she'll call me on it and remind me not to bite mine, which is fine, but it's not a habit I want her to pick up. I don't eat a lot of fruits. She loves them. I expect her to at least try them, and I support her in liking them even when I don't because they're good for her. Hubby doesn't eat vegetables. There are plenty of times when we'll have something that maybe isn't her favorite vegetable and just her and I will eat it and she whines because Daddy doesn't have to eat it but she does. But that's sometimes how it is. You don't always want your kids to turn out the way you do, and sometimes changing just isn't going to happen because you are who you are and you're set in your ways.

I was more bothered by the saying children should be seen and not heard. The do as i say and not as i do made more sense although I hated hearing because I said so as a response to me questioning why i had to do something i didn't want to.