HOW OLD IS TOO OLD?
By ACUN
@aecunningham617 (2)
United States
September 3, 2015 9:23pm CST
At the moment I am 30 years old.... I feel like I'm 95 with the heart of a 7 year old... I have so much to give and it feels like the time I can do it in is shrinking... In the last year I've had brain surgery, 200+ seizures leading up to that surgery, and recently have passed upwards of 50 kidney stones... With no pain medication, because I am an addict... and I don't want to go back down that road again.... Cuz guess what? Opiates are my DOC.... SOOOO.... I don't feel bad for myself, some part of me; probably the sick part, thinks that I am somehow deserving of what I have had happen, the other part of me wants to be mad at the so called GOD I believe in..... The rest of me wants to cling to the amazing man I married and the wonderful friends I have and do everything under the sun I can before the next unforeseeable tragedy strikes our lives... so I guess what I am saying is, Im totally at a loss for how to feel about all of it... I have 4 stones left and my vision has started to blur again and my upper lip is doing its weird numb thing again... Oh did I mention a second brain surgery could be in my future and I am somehow hitting the end of this stupid kidney stone thing and starting with symptoms of the other.... Yep... At a loss and wondering how much I could have done to randomly deserve all of this crap...
2 people like this
2 responses
@aecunningham617 (2)
• United States
7 Sep 15
Every day of my life whether Im "down" or not I am fully alive and doing something positive. This was just a bit of a rant I had to get out... Didn't mean to sound like I was stuck in self pity mode, just had a lot of different thoughts running through my head at once and decided to get them all out... lol
1 person likes this
