A friend of mine joined one of those online dating sites to meet a fellow

@Marcyaz (35316)
United States
September 5, 2015 2:00pm CST
She was only on there a few days and had some guys contact her but after a few days she for one reason or another didn't think they would be for her. Then one day she receives a really nice message from a fellow who even put up a photo of himself and his newphew and told her he was an Engineer working at Toyota in a city in her State at a Military Base helping them on a project. She was very impressed with him and they continued to write back and forth (up to this point all the writing was done on the site) well he asked for her email address and she gave it to him and after a while he said he would like to talk on the phone with her. Oh did I tell you he said he had an accent and was from I think it was Brussels. To continue on she gave him her phone number and they did talk but she could barely understand what he was saying anyway they continued to write. She keep trying to set up a meeting at a mall or coffee shop but he always had an excuse not to be able to go there then one time he said they could meet at a coffee shop. When the day came for them to meet he emailed and said he had been called out of the Country and would she marry him when he came back. At one point he said he wanted to send her some jewelry but she told him no she doesn't wear jewelry. He said where he was going he wouldn't be able to email or call much. Well when he did email it was like someone else was writing to her and she became suspicious of this and asked me if I could find out where his emails were coming from. I did and found out other things also like he was in Nigera and a part of a scam group trying to extort money from women online. The jewelrly was also part of the scam as he would have told her he didn't have enough money with him to send it to her so good she declined the jewelrly. The number he had called her from was from a number that had been hacked into previously. She stopped writing to him and one day he called her screaming why wasn't she answering his emails and she told him in no uncertain terms that if he ever tried to contact her again she was calling the authorities. She never did hear from him again. The moral of this story is be aware Ladies of Guys wanting to much information about you.
24 people like this
20 responses
@celticeagle (168327)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Sep 15
I have heard of these stories both in real life and on the TV stories on such things. Woman(and men) want to find that once in a life time love and they don't look or notice the red flags that when they look back later they see. It's those rose colored glasses some wear because they want it so badly that really hurts them. it is better to question people from the get go, run background checks and do your homework than to invest time, emotions and even money on someone that isn't worth the trouble. I've been online and lived life long enough that I am skeptical and can usually read between the lines.
5 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
5 Sep 15
There are certain signs to look for like on another site I became friendly with a lady and then she asked me for money when I said no I never heard from her again, if she was a her even who knows but shortly after she was no longer on the site and I often wondered how many others she wanted to be friends with and then asked for money.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (168327)
• Boise, Idaho
5 Sep 15
@Marcyaz Lucky you didn't to know her better and then have that happen.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
6 Sep 15
@celticeagle I knew her well enough but I didn't know about this until later when she became suspicious.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
5 Sep 15
It sounds like a typical romance scam, and I am glad that your friend became suspicious and didn't send him any money. My friend also met someone on an online dating site. The person pretended to be a woman from Europe, but he was actually a man from Nigeria. Unfortunately my friend believed him in the beginning and he sent him some money. I warned him, but he was in love and he didn't believe me. My friend will never get the money back, but at least he doesn't talk to the scammer anymore.
5 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
5 Sep 15
He learned a valuable lesson but sorry he lost some money in the process. That Nigeria group seems to be the one that is doing a lot of taking from people. I had read they live in a dorm type building and are online all the time doing this.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
6 Sep 15
@Porcospino I can image there are lots of scammers out there just trying to get whatever they can.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
5 Sep 15
@Marcyaz It is important to be careful when we join online dating sites. There are many scammers who pretend that they are in love with the victim just to get money from him or her.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160978)
• United States
6 Sep 15
Not all strangers are danger, but do not give out too much information too soon. Do try to meet in person in a public place. If too many excuses are given, it could be a sign of trouble.
3 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
6 Sep 15
What you say is very true Gerty, I have met a few online friends in a restaurant and they were exactly like they were online. Of course they lived in the same town or close so they did not have to drive to far.
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
5 Sep 15
Wow..what a story..I am so sorry she had to go through that but at least she had you to help her and fix it...What about those ones who fall for this crap..???..I am glad i am happy as i am..but still so sad people take advantage of others..
4 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
5 Sep 15
She did learn a lesson and I was glad to help before she was pulled into something. I would imagine a lot have lost money and jewelry falling for some of those stories.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
7 Sep 15
Wow, so even in the dating sites there are scammers . By the way , when the guy would always find an excuse to meet with her in a certain place , it is a sure sign that he is a scammer or a dubious person .
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
8 Sep 15
Right and she finally came to realize that and is why she asked for help in finding out about him. Can you believe even the photo he sent her was not of him.
• United States
5 Sep 15
It is deadly online for unsuspecting people men or women even. People are dang liars.
4 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Yep, I agree and even men can be had by some women.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Sep 15
@Marcyaz Yes it is a cover is the online world. We never really know who we are talking with..why my son tells me..be careful Mom
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
5 Sep 15
@TiarasOceanView My family says the same thing to me.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
9 Sep 15
Your post makes an interesting reading. I am sorry to hear about the bad experience faced by your friend. I also feel that one needs to be cautious while dealing with an unknown person through on line channels. I remember having registered on a site for making 'pen friends'. I did not give much details about myself but I had to give my email ID while registering. I remember I started receiving weird mails purportedly written by women, who were from royal families and wanted to send me their money earned through legacy. At the first glance I could make out that these were fake mails and I did not respond. Thereafter, I de-register myself from the site.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
9 Sep 15
IThanks, it seems a good idea when wanting to join something like a pen pal site or any other like that to make yourself an email just for junk mail cause you will receive lots of junk mail like you described. To bad that people seem to think you want those kind of mails or you would fall for their tricks online.
@allen0187 (58582)
• Philippines
6 Sep 15
Relationships that start from on-line dating never end well. Good thing your friend wasn't scammed.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Sep 15
Sometimes those places are very dangerous! Look at the craigs list killer? Yeah true story and so many more on criminal shows like I.D.! I am married so never had to go there but I know a few people that used them and I told them be careful! You never know what is lurking out there be a man or woman! I would suggest to steer clear of those sites! But that is just my opinion.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
6 Sep 15
Right that Craigs List killer I remember that and that is another reason if buying from Craigs List either take someone with you or meet where there are others nearby and do let someone know where you are going and give them as much information as you can and Never, ever meet when it is Dark out.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
6 Sep 15
Interesting story, your friend is very smart to have suspected him. I have a friend you actually met someone from a dating site but he lived in another city. We visited the guy a couple of times for the weekend and they had a good time but it didn't work for them due to the distance. I think they are still friends. So I believe that online dating is not always a scam but it's not easy either because you don't know if the other person can be trusted.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
7 Sep 15
I have heard some good stores about couples who have met online and then of course there are the other stories. I guess it is just a gamble any way you look at it.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
8 Sep 15
@besweet Sure seems like it is so, false versions indeed.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
7 Sep 15
@Marcyaz I agree, you have to be lucky. Besides scammers, people tend to give false improved versions of themselves online. Especially in dating sites I guess.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (37381)
• Toccoa, Georgia
6 Sep 15
I do know some couples do meet online and end up getting married and being happy. But , it is true, we must be careful meeting people online because there are some dishonest people online.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
6 Sep 15
I have heard some online meetings have turned out good and the couples were eventually married so not all are dishonest.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
7 Sep 15
Oh, how scary for your friend. Things like that make me extremely leery of ever meeting someone from an online dating service.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
8 Sep 15
Yes that is understandable as you never know if the person is who and what they say they are.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23671)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
5 Sep 15
I know 6 couples who met on the Internet and have a satisfying relationship and I have met a few myself and have made friends--like any kind of dating situation caution is necessary.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
5 Sep 15
Caution is definitely necessary. I have met some very nice people online and I am stilll in contact with some of them but not all. There are good and bad people out there on the World Wide Web.
1 person likes this
@Tydiakat (43)
• United States
6 Sep 15
oh there are loads of fake profiles out there like that or worse...
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
7 Sep 15
That is what I have heard and my friend no longer belongs to that site, thank goodness.
1 person likes this
@loki1982 (780)
• Dallas, Texas
8 Sep 15
If anything ever feels off, it probably is. Always trust your instincts.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
13 Sep 15
You cannot trust people in real life, let alone online. Especially those dating sites. My evil ex found a guy on a dating site. And sadly she knows nothing about him. I looked up his name online but his last name is so generic that there are millions of them. Nothing comes up with that name at the address he lives with the evil ex. So I started thinking maybe that's not even his real name. He is a fat, nasty out of work bum. Some women are just way too desperate.
• Preston, England
7 Sep 15
I tried computer dating once in the days before the internet. The girl who came to the bar we had arranged to meet in was clearly bunny boiler insane. She was convinced everyone round us was spying on her, and we had to keep moving to different places. She suddenly started kissing me passionately but awkwardly. It took me a moment to realize she was mirror copying the exact moves of a clinching couple opposite us, as if trying to make them jealous. Suffice to say I never bothered dating her again, and it put me off going back near computer / internet dating for life.
@Tampa_girl7 (50524)
• United States
7 Sep 15
What a scary situation.
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
6 Sep 15
I'm sorry to hear about what your friend went through. I actually watch a tv documentary about this type of scam. It's just shocking how many people fell into their trap. You can never be too careful these days. We just have to look out for the red flags.
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
6 Sep 15
Correct as everyone must be careful online whether you be man or woman. No one wants to think they are being scammed but it does happen for whatever reason. Right you are Look out for the Red Flags.
1 person likes this
• Makati, Philippines
6 Sep 15
Oh my god what a jerk! I really can't take this! If I were the one in her situation and I've already know that he's a total scammer, I would arrange a date and if the two of us meet I'm gonna punch him in face BIG TIME. Girls are like precious diamonds not a way for filty scams ok?! Whoo! I get caried away when it comes to girls being humiliated ...
1 person likes this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
7 Sep 15
I doubt if she would ever have met him as he was not in this Country at all. Yeah I agree he was a jerk and a liar.