Tips and tricks I have learned since getting married

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I could probably submit this article as "The Top 100 Things Wives Learn From Their Husbands." But I'll just list a few things I've learned. 1. The TV remote is not really an instrument designed to easily change one channel to another on the television. It is an item that the wife sees once in the store when it is purchased and then never again. The smart wife will not complain as she will soon learn that it is actually a pacifier for husbands - only it is held in the hand rather than pushed into his mouth, which can be tempting as well. 2. Your kitchen shears are also great for cutting toenails. Who woulda thunk? 3. Men only need half the number of underwear you originally thought they did. They were taught, when they were attending male finishing school, (along with how to fart optimally and other sundry tricks) to conserve water and soap and wear and tear on their skivvies, that one can simply flip them wrong side out. Tada! Same underwear 2 days in a row! They're just doing their part to save the environment... There are lots to share, but I'm sure there are many other tips I've missed as well. Won't you share yours with me?