Relationship Closure: Is it really necessary ?
@JaneApril (334)
Philippines
October 9, 2015 10:59pm CST
I had this past relationship that lasted for more han three years. We did not broke up, we just stopped communicating.
A year before my college graduation, my father died. I was struggling emotionally and specially financially because my father was our family's only source of income. My ex was the one who backed me up, encouraged me to pursue my dream to finish my studies.
On the third year of our relationship, we became both busy with our careers. We seemed to grow distant, less meetings, phone calls and even messaging. At first I tried my best to save what's left of our dying relationship. Nothing happened until I got used to life without him. We stopped communicating, both of us, unreachable.
I told my present boyfriend about it because I thought it would not be a big deal to him. My boyfriend told me that I must confront and formally end my relationship with my ex.
After a year? Is it really necessary for us to have that "closure"?
6 people like this
7 responses
@Freelanzer (10743)
• Canada
10 Oct 15
Any closure should have happened while you were together or at the end of the relationship. Now you have moved on. However, if you still have hurt feelings about how the relationship ended, you may want to consider putting closure to it. If you feel it isn't necessary then carry on.
3 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
10 Oct 15
If you don't feel like you need closure then I think you've already gotten that closure.
If I had to guess, I'd say the problem is with the current boyfriend. Maybe he is insecure and worries that some day you might get feelings for the ex again and leave him to go back to the ex. Those are his problems that he needs to deal with.
@allknowing (138205)
• India
10 Oct 15
It will be better that way as you can then give your full attention to your new find.
@JaneApril (334)
• Philippines
10 Oct 15
That's what my present bf told me ..
but, I feel a little awkward to be the one to approach my ex.
@JaneApril (334)
• Philippines
10 Oct 15
Thanks for that .. at least I already have an idea of how I will start that awkward conversation with him. @jkct02
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
10 Oct 15
big 
'n my deepest condolences 'n both the loss 'f yer dad 'n also yer relationship in the end. i dunno 'bout findin' closure by confrontin' that fella though. sometimes we jest grow 'part, those folks who touch our lives so deeply seem to've be there fer a purpose 'f sorts 'n when that's gone, we tend to move on. if'n yer havin' issues with such, it'd mean ya aint come to terms with it. perhaps yer current beau feels like this chapter aint yet been closed?
'n my deepest condolences 'n both the loss 'f yer dad 'n also yer relationship in the end. i dunno 'bout findin' closure by confrontin' that fella though. sometimes we jest grow 'part, those folks who touch our lives so deeply seem to've be there fer a purpose 'f sorts 'n when that's gone, we tend to move on. if'n yer havin' issues with such, it'd mean ya aint come to terms with it. perhaps yer current beau feels like this chapter aint yet been closed?1 person likes this
@chiwasaki (4694)
• Philippines
10 Oct 15
For me, it is no longer necessary as you have been living your life without him already. However, for the sake of your current boyfriend, it is better to have closure. It is for his security too.
