Not So Cute and Cuddly!!

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So I'm out running in Heaton Park (a large park in North Manchester) when I'm distracted by a Koala climbing down from one of the trees and asking me where the best place is to find squirrels. As squirrel catching isn't my forte I tell him I don't know but offer to show him the results of the work I've been doing renovating Heaton Hall. He takes me up on my offer but instead of admiring my handiwork he seems far more interested in the tools I'm using, taking a particular liking to a large serrated knife. At this point a squirrel runs past, and quick as a flash the Koala has slit it's throat and ran off with my knife. I finish my run! Later, I'm having a nice cup of tea while watching the news and, to my horror, the lead news item concerns a Koala in Heaton Park jumping from the trees onto peoples backs and slitting their throats!! I decide to hunt down the Killer Koala but, despite having lived in the area for 25 years I can no longer find Heaton Park and end up trapped on a bus which only ever stops when there are passengers to pick up. The bus-stops are deserted and I'm being transported further and further away from Heaton Park while the Koala runs riot. I wake up! I really must stop reading Franz Kafka and watching episodes of 'Dexter' immediately before bed!!