Rock and Roll Hall of LAME
By David Royce
@spleendingo1 (799)
Grand Haven, Michigan
October 14, 2015 8:32am CST
I was outraged. I was offended. I was nonplussed (and, yes, that’s the correct way to use that word smarty pants). I sank in my chair, the one without the semen stains that look like the face of Steve Buscemi, and wondered aloud why I had to suffer this way.
This wasn’t about politics or religion. It wasn’t about school shootings or why they stopped making Twinkies. This was about rock and roll. The purest form of music on this planet outside of the didgeridoo. The nominations are in and it’s worse than ever. A woman who’s main claim to fame is exposing her nipple at a kind of big sporting event is the “big name” this year. Who else is rock and roll enough to get there?
Abba
Madonna
Michael Jackson
The Bee Gees.
THE. BEE. GEES. Because when you think of rocking out, you think of Barry Gibb.
What all these performers have in common besides having nothing to do with rock and roll, is that they are all in the ROCK AND ROLL Hall of Fame. There are choirs from Brooklyn that are more rock and roll than these people. Johnny Cash was more rock and roll than these people. Former President Bill Clinton played a better saxophone than Madonna did a skin flute.
Motorhead is not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and, once again, have not been nominated this year. For reasons of full disclosure (not to be confused with full dis-clothers which is an automatic arrest in a public park), I am a huge Motorhead fan. I have been for all of my adult life. They are rock and roll.
The lead singer of Motorhead, Lemmy, is an icon. He’ll be 70 years old this December and almost died two years ago from complications due to:
Being almost 70 years old.
Ingesting enough chemical substances to make Keith Richards call Uncle at an all you can snort cocaine party.
Lemmy decided a change was in order to continue the whole breathing in and out thing. What were his big life changes? He quit drinking whiskey. And switched to vodka. He no longer smokes three packs of cigarettes a day. He cut back to one a day (packs of cigarettes, not the vitamin regimen).
How much more ROCK AND ROLL can you get? Say what you want about how the days of “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll” are over, but everyone knows the best albums of all times have been made that way. It’s a lifestyle of rebellion and anarchy. “Guns N’ Roses” made one of the best rock albums of all time with “Appetite For Destruction” while indulging in a lifestyle that can best be described as “How in the name of anything holy are they still alive? And why do they poop standing up?”
After they went to rehab, they made “The Spaghetti Incident”. Remember that one? NOBODY DOES BECAUSE IT SUCKED.
I think I’m trying to say I can no longer respect an institution that claims to be rock and roll when they induct grown men that wore scarves and one piece, bell bottom jumpsuits while they danced to the light of a disco ball, but turn away a group that have, for 40 years, defined the genre. Here’s a link where you can listen to their 2013 album “Aftershock” and bang your head a bit.
Oh, and help out the starving kids in some country thing. Just so you don’t think I’m a selfish prick for getting angry about my first world problems.
Motörhead - Aftershock 01 Heartbreaker 0:00 02 Coup de Grace 3:05 03 Lost Woman Blues 6:50 04 End of Time 10:59 05 Do You Believe 14:16 06 Death Machine 17:1...
9 people like this
8 responses
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
15 Oct 15
I love me some AC/DC also! \m/ I'll have to check out Status Quo. I've never heard of them.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
15 Oct 15
@spleendingo1 WHAT?? You've never heard of them! Sheesh!
2 people like this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
16 Oct 15
@jaboUK I know. And they were called the most under rated rock band in the UK. But I always thought that distinction went to the "Dogs D'Amour". I love those guys!
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
14 Oct 15
Hi David. I know Lemmy. He was also in Hawkwind at one time was he not?
I agree it is absolute foolishness and beyond, the people that are in the Hall of Fame for g´s sake.Rock on.
3 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
18 Oct 15
@spleendingo1 Lemmy is brilliant
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
16 Oct 15
So, I don't know half the names you listed, and I don't particularly care for most of the other half, either. I do enjoy listening to you rant, though - it is very entertaining and humorous!
2 people like this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
19 Oct 15
It's all good with me! I think variety in people keeps things interesting.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
19 Oct 15
@spleendingo1 So, I am going to show you how little I know about music genres. I think that Madonna and Janet Jackson are pop. I think the Bee Gees are disco. I think that AC/DC is metal. When I think of Rock and Roll, I am more thinking along the lines of Lynard Skynard (which I guess would technically be Southern Rock, so maybe that doesn't count), Aerosmith, Billy Joel and bands/singers like that. How badly did I botch that up?
1 person likes this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
21 Oct 15
@purplealabaster Botch it? You get an A+ yo! I'm not a big Billy Joel fan, but I would classify him as rock and roll. Especially compared to the BEE GEES dammit. lol See, you know more than I do!
1 person likes this
@FourWalls (68944)
• United States
14 Oct 15
Here's all you need to know about the mentality of the people making the decisions on who gets nominated.
Steve Miller's Greatest Hits 1974-78 has outsold the entire discography of THREE ACTS nominated, including Chic (who's been nominated nearly a dozen times now). This is his first nomination. The Moody Blues have never been nominated, despite selling over 70 million albums.
It's supposed to be a hall of FAME and not a hall of whomever the nominating committee likes (which is the only way you can explain Tom Waits getting inducted).
The only way to rectify this is BOYCOTT THE HALL OF FAME until they start having nominations based more of the famous than the pets of Jan Werner. Otherwise, it's likely that the Walkers (a band from Boston who made one EP, got signed to a major label on the strength of that EP, then broke up before ever making an album) will be inducted in the Hall of Fame before the Moody Blues.
2 people like this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
16 Oct 15
Steve Miller - finally a name in here that I know and actually like!
2 people like this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
15 Oct 15
You said it all my friend! There are 800 people who decide the nominations each year. EIGHT HUNDRED! My god, just have like 10 people who understand it's not a popularity contest, nor a "general anything music" institution. Chic had one "hit" disco song....ONE. Their nomination alone is travesty!
2 people like this
@Shyamalaa (525)
• Udaipur, India
14 Oct 15
I don't know much about Rock and Roll, but have gained some insights into how nominations are made from reading your post!
1 person likes this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
15 Oct 15
They seem to be made by corporate heads. They need a new system. Like, just let me do the picks every year. lol
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
16 Oct 15
@Shyamalaa Whenever I get an idea that sounds good, you can be assured it is not lol
1 person likes this
@Shyamalaa (525)
• Udaipur, India
15 Oct 15
@spleendingo1 seems like a good idea!
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)
• West Haven, Connecticut
14 Oct 15
AC/DC for life! I do like Motorhead too
2 people like this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
15 Oct 15
No worries man. I do love AC/DC also. And they got in already so I'm happy about that. Their new album "Rock or Bust" is awesome
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
15 Oct 15
they do blur the boundaries of pop and rock with such awards - anyone singing happy birthday qualifies by such criteria. I quite like the Bee Gees but Motorhead clearly Rock while the Bee Gees are a gentler sound and often just cheesy as with their 70's disco phase.
1 person likes this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
15 Oct 15
And I would have no issues if they were called "The MUSIC Hall of Fame" or something along those lines. I guess I just expect certain standards when you put the words Rock and Roll in the title of your shrine lol
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
21 Oct 15
@spleendingo1 Lol...you are too funny!
1 person likes this
@spleendingo1 (799)
• Grand Haven, Michigan
16 Oct 15
They were thinking "What else can we do to give that Dave guy an aneurysm" lol
1 person likes this