I really did loathe them growing up
By AmberLynn
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
United States
October 17, 2015 2:55am CST
Growing up, I was always at my mom's side of the family's house. Usually at my grandparent's house, especially over the weekend's. That was my life, weekend's spent with my grandparents, and when school let out, summer's spent with them.
Occasionally I had the obligatory "family function" with my dad's side. His side was always smaller. I had two aunts, two uncle's (the aunt's husband's) and two cousin's. Then those cousin's became four cousin's. I hated going to that side of the family's functions.
I always felt as if I was being pitied. You see my mom (may she RIP) had a disease that caused her to not be able to do much the same things everyone else could. She also slept a lot, whether that be due to her disease, the medicine or a combination of both, I don't know.
Couple that with me having grown up with epilepsy (grew out of it at 18) , I was more the pitied little girl than anything. I'm sure my aunt's told their children not to be too rough with me, or what not. I don't know, but I never got to enjoy the same things they did. I didn't envy them that, but I hated their attitude toward me. Nearly inferior, and I know it wasn't their fault. Their parents didn't correct them, didn't see anything wrong with it.
So yeah if it wasn't inferior than it was just pity, and I hated it. I was always in my own head back then too, day dreaming and doing my best to stay away from them at the family functions. I didn't want to be around the adults, I didn't want to be around the other kids.
Now at my mom's side of things it was different. I wasn't included because my cousin's and siblings were "too much older" than me. I always had to get them in trouble just for them to entertain me. Of course to them I was the brat. What I am saying though, is as I was treated like any other kid. Sure there were still things I couldn't do, or they didn't want me to do, but I wasn't ignored or sat in a corner when with my mom's side of things.
Now I am 28 years old. I don't talk to my dad, one aunt (his sister) has passed away, one aunt is divorced from her husband, I don't talk to my cousin's or my other uncle. My dad's mom has passed away. Notice how I said "Dad's mom"? Yeah I don't claim them as family. I am nice if I Get a text from my uncle or dad but that's so few and far between.
It's kind of sad that hings turned out that way but then I never felt as if I belonged anyway, and my dad? That's a whole other story.
12 people like this
9 responses
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
17 Oct 15
havin' been the 'black sheep' 'f my family'n both sides i can relate. prolly why i turned to critters growin' up.2 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
17 Oct 15
Animals do not judge, that's for sure. Love is all they know.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
19 Oct 15
@crazyhorseladycx oh but my "framily" as I call them are great at reminding me of all my embarrassing moments. 
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
18 Oct 15
@ScribbledAdNauseum yepperz, they accept'cha 's ya 're, 'n e'en when ya go off course, they fergive ya 'n don't throw such transgressions back in yer face fer'n eternity.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
18 Oct 15
It is unfair that you had to go through so much in life , but never lose hope, because life has a way of giving us unexpected bonus.In fact we all have some burden or the other that we carry with us through our life.The less you think about the past and make the best of today the better you feel...
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
19 Oct 15
I grew from that experience. While it still gives me pangs from time to time, I am a better person from what I experienced.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Oct 15
My father's family in Canada never showed much interest in us and really still don't. I never knew most of them. It's weird now, because I have done so much genealogy and I know all the names of all the family I never met and even those who are still out there. On the other hand, while doing my mother's side, I got emails from distant cousins with whom I shared nothing more than a common ancestor and exchanged emails as if we were acquainted, and yes, even related. Very different. I guess I have to conclude that my father was the cream of the crop on his side. I don't know why they never even followed up on him and showed no interest in his life. It is odd how one family can be so open to other family members, and another so closed to everyone.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
19 Oct 15
I believe we've talked about genealogy a bit before. Now you see why I am having a bit of difficulty looking into my ancestral past on my dad's side.
I have another aunt that is my dad's older sister if I am not mistaken. A half sister. I remember hearing about her in the past but not knowing what they were talking about as I was just a little kid. It was not until a few months ago that I got verification that I had another aunt. She was given away at birth if I am not mistaken.
It's sad how families are to one another sometimes.
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
17 Oct 15
My family was like that. My Mom and Dad were divorced and whenever I went to visit my Dad, I would be around his side of the family and I just never was comfortable or felt like I belonged. My Mom's side of the family are wonderful and I love them all.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
17 Oct 15
My parents never married. I thought they were married until I was like 10 years old and was told that they weren't. My dad always made me feel uncomfortable because he always seemed angry, so that didn't help matters much growing up.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
23 Oct 15
@ScribbledAdNauseum No, being angry wouldn't have helped at all, especially with a child.
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
18 Oct 15
I don't know what that's like but I'm sure it was difficult to constantly feel like you didn't belong. Sorry to hear that you had to go through all that, but I hope you have a bright and wonderful future ahead of you.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
19 Oct 15
It was just the one side of the family. When I was with my mom's side I felt entirely normal and loved, as well as if I belonged. I hated going to my dad's side of things, but it made being at my mom's side that much sweeter.
1 person likes this
@rashu_j883 (144)
• Hyderabad, India
18 Oct 15
hi sad to hear about your family.sometimes friends understand us better than our parents and other family members.atleast they dont judge us.friends except the way we are.plz dont feel sad about ur relatives.i am sure u have many good friends around u to hear you.
god sends someone to take care for all of us either in the form of parents,friends or a loving partner.hope u also get the best partner in your life.
and mylot cummunity is always there to cheer and share your feelings.all the best.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
19 Oct 15
Yes I have many good friends whom are more like family to me. It is unfortunate how my dad's family are, but it's life. isn't it?
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47341)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
17 Oct 15
Sometimes that's the way it goes. I can understand how you feel. I do have a good relationship with my mom and grandmother, but I never felt like I quite belonged. I'm not close to my dad and he wasn't close to his family, and neither am I. It's shame when it happens.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
17 Oct 15
I always thought families were supposed to be this perfect thing, atleast that's what I always fantasized about growing up. I probably watched too much of the Brady Bunch.
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
17 Oct 15
sometimes that happens family can be everything
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
17 Oct 15
Or they can be nothing. I don't know what made me write this post this morning but I'm glad I did. I used to spend time wishing I could get to know them as an adult but then again I suppose it's better I didn't. I'd still have those bad memories.
@sallypup (61862)
• Centralia, Washington
17 Oct 15
You are quite young and yet you have an old history. I'm quickly heading to 60 and realizing all over again that I am the youngest and really don't have much in common with the others let alone much admiration for them.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
17 Oct 15
When I was younger... In certain ways, I had to grow up fast. It wasn't always easy, and what I've talked about here is just the icing on the cake.
