Having respect for people whose politics are very different from your own
By John Welford
@indexer (4852)
Leicester, England
October 20, 2015 6:18pm CST
I am currently having a real problem on another site with somebody who has very Conservative political views, whereas mine are far more liberal on most matters. The problem derives from the fact that they have absolutely no respect for me, because of the political difference, and this extends to everything I might have to say, on any subject whatsoever.
I, on the other hand, continue to respect her for who she is, and refuse to dismiss her as being any less worthy a person despite her political opinions.
I don't go down the road of believing that her lack of respect for others is because of her Conservatism. For one thing, there are plenty of Conservatives who do not take this line, and - for another - there are plenty of non-Conservatives who do!
There does, however, seem to be a certain mentality that shuts other people out because of a perceived difference that can never be overcome. Sometimes this betrays itself as racism, homophobia, or one of a whole range of "isms" or "phobias" - a hatred of the "other" that places whoever it is beyond the pale of respect.
The really difficult thing is to continue to respect the hater - whatever they may say about you!
21 people like this
16 responses
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
21 Oct 15
I think some people are defined by their politics (or religion, or profession etc.) and find it difficult to understand other viewpoints. I think I frustrate people like that because I have some very liberal views in certain areas but some quite conservative views in other areas. Consequently I find it difficult to vote for anyone when it comes around to election time!!
5 people like this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Oct 15
I have managed to have some decent conversations with people who are more conservative than I am, but then most of them don't start out the conversation by hurling insults.
Personally, I think a lot of the negative thinking about liberals by conservatives and vice versa is very deliberately started by factions that want to keep us divided so that nothing will change.
5 people like this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
21 Oct 15
Unlike you I would never bring about the topics which they have very strong stance on even if it is nothing to do with politics and could be on other matters like religion. It is very difficult to strike middle ground when one is so engrossed and ingrained.
I will just avoid out of respect and for the sake of good relationship.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (100297)
• India
22 Oct 15
I am not sure that is the right thing to do. What happens is when a person thinks in a specific way, the same stance is passed on to children and then to another generation. It may be good solution temporarily. But if we are confident of our reasoning, we need to come up with it. If the other person does not like it, it is simply unwillingness to say my papa is wrong or my mama is wrong. Subconsciously, they do realize and over a period they will change. But it should not be rubbed in.
@Lushlala (4028)
• Gaborone, Botswana
22 Oct 15
@artemeis I'm sort of on the same wavelength as you on this. I tend to avoid any political and religious discussions on forums because i know those are the ones that can potentially lead to very explosive exchanges.
Nasty things are then said, which quite often are irreversible. I don't like falling out with people online, because I'm all about having fun and having civil mature relationships with my online friends and acquaintances. But I know quite a lot of people who freely admit to getting a kick out of it. Sad, really.
1 person likes this
@bookbar (1609)
• Sudbury, England
21 Oct 15
Everyone's opinions or politics, or anything else for that matter are as unique as you, other people's thoughts are not and shouldn't be inflicted in an offensive...'mine are right manner', your views/opinions are as unique as your birthright, and it would be a very boring world, without a difference in opinions..
4 people like this
@vandana7 (100297)
• India
22 Oct 15
I am rigid. lol. And you do have discussions with me right? 
Just that we all develop rigidity in some angles from time to time so that we can move on to the next topic of concern, but what is good in one context may not be good in another. It also varies according to time. Therefore, rigidity is good for achieving goals faster, but rigidity is bad if held on without willing to reason. There are no permanent rules here, are there?
Just that we all develop rigidity in some angles from time to time so that we can move on to the next topic of concern, but what is good in one context may not be good in another. It also varies according to time. Therefore, rigidity is good for achieving goals faster, but rigidity is bad if held on without willing to reason. There are no permanent rules here, are there?@Lushlala (4028)
• Gaborone, Botswana
22 Oct 15
@TheHorse I like your stance on this and I believe it's the best way to be :) We can't always be right, plus there isn't always a right or wrong way. I strongly believe that no matter what your beliefs are, you have to remember that just as you have a right to them, so have others. You don't always have to agree, either. I much prefer mature, intelligent and civil discussions to emotionally charged and irrational debates. as soon as I notice people are getting all worked up, I walk away.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (167019)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Oct 15
Haters are some sick folk. They need a place all their own where they can go and, yes, HATE.
1 person likes this
@indexer (4852)
• Leicester, England
21 Oct 15
Well, Some of them think they have found such a place in social media! Unfortunately, they have to share this place with those of us of a different turn of mind - if all the haters were confined to one site they'd soon get bored hating each other!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Oct 15
yes it is a free country so I just agree to disagree and leave it alone. lol
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
22 Oct 15
I don't really understand why people let a disagreement/argument over politics color their opinions of each other. I do try to stay out of political and religious discussions for this purpose.
1 person likes this
@Lushlala (4028)
• Gaborone, Botswana
22 Oct 15
These types of people are very exhausting! -and I just can't deal with them. I tend to say my piece, and then as soon as I realise the sort of person they are, the type you can't reason with, I start to switch off and walk away. For my sanity. Those types of people can very quickly fly off the handle and hit below the belt, if they feel they're not being listened to. Yet they're the worst people at listening to anybody, only their views count apparently. -and boy, do they love taking everything personally! You can't win.
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
15 Nov 15
I find a lot of people tend to have a narrow point of view. They refuse to accept we all have our own opinions on everything.
@xander6464 (44250)
• Wapello, Iowa
26 Aug 18
I have the same situation on another site and "The really difficult thing is to continue to respect the hater - whatever they may say about you" hits the nail right on the head. I generally cope with it through a blend of politeness and sarcasm.
@Freelanzer (10743)
• Canada
23 Oct 15
Politics and religion brings out the worse in people. I love politics and majored in political science but I find I have to curb my enthusiasm about discussing political matters on sites like these. On one site I actually feared for my safety due to the responses I got for my opinions.
@vandana7 (100297)
• India
21 Oct 15
I am a person with strong opinions. But my opinions are formed because of what I see, hear, experience, read, understand and think. Now, the last three words are important. I guess there is always scope for changing my views, and scope for finding common grounds where I share my experiences, and you share yours, and we then try to find a way in which we can plug the loopholes we have come across. In simple words, I am open to reasoning but need to be convinced logically. lol
@pcunix (210)
• Middleboro, Massachusetts
21 Oct 15
I don't have any problem when the conservative is arguing intelligently. I can talk to them and even agree with them now and then. When it's just ignorant nonsense, I find it much harder to have that respect.
Recently I had a neighbor actually scream at me that I had to have Jesus in my life. Seriously. Her husband tried to calm her down but she was very angry. This came to be because she said we needed religion in our schools and I disagreed, saying that I like the idea of teaching religious history - all religions - but I did not like forcing children to act out one religions practices. I then told her that I and my wife are atheists and neither of us liked being forced to say Christian prayers in our own school days so many years ago. That's when she lost it.
I cannot respect someone that ignorant. I'm pleasant to her, if she needs help I am right there, but I cannot respect her.
