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I have to admit that besides my strange, long, and generally gross hair that grows from various parts of my body, I have an awesome person to tame that beast. I go in once a week to have my hair shaved, lasered, and eradicated in very painful and humiliating ways but the lady that does it doesn't speak English so well, so I rely on my friends here at MyLot. Luckily, the lady that has to touch my horrible bear skin of flesh is from Portugal. And we have our very own Princess of Portugal right here with @fufurinha So when I told her what my ball hair "stylist" said, she was more than happy to translate. Below are those translations. STYLIST: "ohhhhhhhh Mr. Dave you are a Filho da puta" @fufurinha : "She says you are very handsome". WOW! STYLIST: "Vai-te voder Mr. Dave." @fufurinha : She says having sex with you would be AWESOME". NICE! STYLIST: "You smell like Merda ou caralho Mr. Dave". @fufurinha : She says your cologne is a very fresh, natural fragrance. AWESOME! So, as you can see from the very scientific methods I used, I may be the most well groomed, best smelling, and desirable man EVER! Thank you to @fufurinha for her awesome translating skills and to the woman who has seen me naked more times than my ex wife. Now I have to go. Those ball hairs are getting out of control.