I got paid!

@TheHorse (218532)

Walnut Creek, California

November 3, 2015 5:17pm CST

A few days ago, I wrote a post about a fella who owed me about $700. I was frustrated because he had more or less gone into hiding. I sent him several emails, and left a few phone messages, all of them appropriate, but assertive. Much to my surprise, $75 appeared in my PayPal account from him the other day. It's just a bit of what is owed, but it's a start. He has come out of hiding and is communicating with me again as well. I know he has a lot on his plate, and I want to be compassionate. But I want to receive the money I'm owed as well. Thanks to all who made suggestions. In this case, a lot of patience with a moderate dose of assertiveness might be paying off.

28 people like this

28 responses

@cahaya1983 (11116)

• Malaysia

4 Nov 15

I also find that being calm but assertive is the best way to deal with people who owe us. It could save the relationship from being damaged too.

3 people like this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

Very true. I have no desire for conflict or to show anyone up. I Just want things to be "right." It's not that different from the Bubblews situation in that way.

1 person likes this

@Hatley (163776)

• Garden Grove, California

4 Nov 15

@TheHorse I guess Im still hanging i n there b ut w hen the mnoderator herself gives up theres so mething very wrong there and I willnot waste much time there now.

1 person likes this

@softbabe44 (5816)

• Vancouver, Washington

4 Nov 15

I think your on the right track thats what makes us who we are i'm glad you got paid.

3 people like this

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@softbabe44 (5816)

• Vancouver, Washington

5 Nov 15

@TheHorse Yea i wouldn't have been so patient either.

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

My way of dealing with this situation is consistent with my principles. But had I needed the money now, I couldn't have been as patient.

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@peavey (16936)

• United States

4 Nov 15

Awesome! I remember that post. I hope you get the rest of it.

2 people like this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

Thanks! I'll be patient. I'm making decent money these days in my "real jobs." I can afford not to put too much pressure on him.

@celticeagle (166724)

• Boise, Idaho

3 Nov 15

I think remaining calm yet being assertive is a gift some learn and some fumble with. I have learned to be so over the years but early on I wasn't at all. Age is golden.

3 people like this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

I think patience is something I've had for a long time. Strangely, I get bored easily if I'm not doing something. But I still have patience toward others.

2 people like this

@JudyEv (339496)

• Rockingham, Australia

5 Nov 15

I think with some people if you give them time and not get too aggressive they'll eventually come good. Hopefully you'll receive the rest of your money in due course.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

29 Feb 16

That's what appears to be happening here. I'll accept the Dynaco Stereo 70 for $600 or so, and he'll only owe me about $200.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

29 Feb 16

@JudyEv Yes! And you should hear this amplifier. It's not much to look at. But it's the best sounding I've had in my system since a conrad-johnson (tubed, of course) MV-50 was with me for a couple of weeks in Iowa many years ago.

1 person likes this

@JudyEv (339496)

• Rockingham, Australia

29 Feb 16

@TheHorse Getting closer then.

1 person likes this

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@db20747 (43440)

• Washington, District Of Columbia

29 Apr 16

that's great, you got paid! Collections can drive you mad as a horse. I usually don't ask for money back because I can never get it back. Good to see someone get paid back!

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

29 Apr 16

My hope is that I'll be paid in full over time. I may accept a really nice amplifier as partial payment.

1 person likes this

@db20747 (43440)

• Washington, District Of Columbia

29 Apr 16

@TheHorse That's a good trade off. Also good a good negotiation item.

@Marcyaz (35316)

• United States

4 Nov 15

It seems like you have handled this just fine, now if he would only pay you the rest of the money he owes you but some little at a time may be what is going to happen.

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@Marcyaz (35316)

• United States

5 Nov 15

@TheHorse Of course the acknowledgement matters but of course you also want the rest of your money eventually.

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

A little bit at a time is fine with me! It's the acknowledgement that matters most to me. Not to say that I don't want full payment (or close to it) eventually.

1 person likes this

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@dodo19 (47317)

• Beaconsfield, Quebec

4 Nov 15

Glad that he's started paying you back and he's talking to a pain. Hopefully, this continues.

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

How do you mean, talking to a pain? I hope he gets help for the issues that are plaguing him.

@epiffanie (11326)

• Australia

4 Nov 15

It is not a good feeling to lend money and then the one who borrowed ignore you afterwards.. That happened to me so I don't lend money anymore to anybody ..

1 person likes this

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

This was a case of "frog in a pot." I never intended to lend money to him.

@valmnz (17097)

• New Zealand

4 Nov 15

Ha, ha, this sounds like the way I feel when a small loan repayment arrives in my account from my son

I've never put pressure on him - yet - so it's always a nice surprise when something turns up.

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@valmnz (17097)

• New Zealand

5 Nov 15

@TheHorse you do different things for family! We always joke, if he doesn't pay us back it's less he receives when we're gone!

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

Does it make a difference that he's your son? I assume so. That's the epitome of "it's the thought that counts."

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@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

4 Nov 15

Oh, I was thinking that you got the money from myLot ahaha

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@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

5 Nov 15

@TheHorse I know that feeling. I have seen a lot of good comments about myLot but I need to see with my own eyes.

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

Oh, I hope that happens within the next few days. The responsiveness of the Admin, and others' comments, make me believe this is an honest site.. But I'll believe it FULLY when I see cash on the barrel head! I've been conditioned to be suspicious of everything by "that other site."

1 person likes this

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@DaddyEvil (137257)

• United States

13 Jan 16

It's a good feeling when someone you have almost given up on finally throws some money your way, isn't it, pony? I think it is, at least! I do hope he comes through with the rest of it!

1 person likes this

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@DaddyEvil (137257)

• United States

13 Jan 16

@TheHorse That's crazy, pony! What are people thinking?

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

13 Jan 16

He's a strange bird. I'll probably get paid the rest in loudspeakers or some such. Eventually.

1 person likes this

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@Drosophila (16571)

• Ireland

4 Nov 15

Same same! I got a pay back today of 14euro.. the dude wanted to get his "soul ledger" back.. HAHAHA really a good trick that one.

1 person likes this

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@Drosophila (16571)

• Ireland

4 Nov 15

@TheHorse HAHAHA.. no no! he wanted his "soul ledger" back. Whenever people ask me for a loan, I always make them leave me a "soul ledger". It's a piece of paper where they write "I owe Wendy my soul for $$$$". I give this piece of paper back when they return the money to me. Most people do.. call it superstition or not. xD I still have 2 such "soul ledgers". In theory, come dooms day, I got 2 suckers to front it for me.

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

I think he's right. I feel more "balanced" when I've paid my bills and been paid what I'm owed.

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Diana Abrahamson

@dianadee (1778)

• South Africa

4 Nov 15

Well your patience certainly was rewarded!

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

So far so good. I hope he gets his own life together as well.

Diana Abrahamson

@dianadee (1778)

• South Africa

4 Nov 15

@TheHorse What a gracious way of looking at it!

@allknowing (136011)

• India

5 Nov 15

They say 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be as you will lose both money and friend' This is for next item

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

29 Feb 16

Fortunately, it looks like I'll be getting a Dynaco Stereo 70 worth about $600 instead of cash. It sounds great, and will become the main amplifier in by "big system." Things tend to work out if you have patience, I think.

1 person likes this

@wiLLmaH (8802)

• Singapore, Singapore

4 Nov 15

Many people owed me money. But I knew from my heart they do not want to pay. Total up is around hundreds of thousand pesos. I do not chase them to pay me. My mom told me that let the karma do the rest.

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@wiLLmaH (8802)

• Singapore, Singapore

4 Nov 15

@TheHorse But it seems they are happy! Haha! Anyways, I wish no one will do that to them what they have done to me..

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

One could argue that THEY'LL feel better when they pay you. Owing others is not a good feeling.

1 person likes this

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@Tampa_girl7 (50205)

• United States

4 Nov 15

Good for you. I hope you get the rest your owed.

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

Thanks. Sometimes he pays me in speakers that need work. I'm OK with that. It will happen eventually.

@Marilynda1225 (82704)

• United States

4 Nov 15

Hopefully he'll continue to pay and you'll get all of your money back. Lending money is risky business

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

4 Nov 15

Yep.This wasn't exactly a lending situation. It was me doing restoration work for him and saying "Eh, pay me later" when he claimed temporary poverty. I let it add up.

Michael Liriano

@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)

• West Haven, Connecticut

4 Nov 15

I feel you, I use to lend money to friends and stopped doing that since they thought if they befriended me they wouldnt have to pay me

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

Yes, that's what he's tried to do. He's invited me to lunch. Even to Sharks games when he has an extra ticket. If he were honest in business, I might consider developing a friendship with him. But we have a business relationship, and that's all I want. Befriending someone so a loan becomes more "casual" is manipulative. That's not a true friendship.

@cpefley (1926)

• San Jose, California

4 Nov 15

I'm glad that he at least STARTED paying you back. I hope that there is plenty more in the future. That is a lot to owe someone.

@TheHorse (218532)

• Walnut Creek, California

5 Nov 15

It really is. His excuses have SOME validity to them. But not enough not to justify not eventually fulfilling his responsibilities.