How to break up with a girlfriend without hurting her

I must say that it is too difficult to breakup with a girl without hurting her. It is not possible. Perhaps you can try to get away from her for some time and then she will realize you are not close to her. Then let her breakup with you. This may make her feel better? Or just to tell her the truth and face it. After all, the short pain is better than a long term suffering. It is not good for both of you.

why you want to break up with her if you are really concerned about her so much

You don't do it. She will be hurt. Well, mostly. I once broke up with a girl and she danced. Later that night she slept with my best friend. Luckily, my best friend was another girl so we all won that night! lol

there is no real good way to do that kind of thing, I would say not in front of others, and where and when she has a way to retreat privately

Being honest helps, preferably in a lonely setting where they won't be interrupted. Laying the truth without being too objective and harsh may soften the blow, but both of them will be hurt if they loved each other. So not being hurt, is not an option.

If she loves him either way she will get hurt

I think that's a tough one for any of us in other countries who don't know your culture to answer. I can only say for goodness sake make sure he does it face to face. No facebook, email or SMS dumping.