What's the longest 'luv' relationship you have been in? Part 1
By GreatMartin
@GreatMartin (23672)
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
November 6, 2015 9:04am CST
In 80 years I have only known a few couples who have been together a long time. I'm not talking 5-10 years, as many people refer to as LTR's these days.
Joseph and Albyn were together 52 years when Joseph died.
Robert and James celebrated their 51st anniversary before Robert passed.
Bob and Carol celebrated their 63rd anniversary this past May--they are my brother and sister-in-law
I will mainly be talking about these three couples but wouldn't want to forget Peter & Hans together for 46 years, a gay couple I met thru the Internet, and W & S (who were on the Rosie O'Donnell HBO special, "All Aboard" Rosie's Families cruise" ) and have been together for 35+ years and are the parents of a beautiful girl.
For 'younger' folks who may not be aware there weren't any 'role models' for gay couples 40-60 years ago--in fact the first question usually asked of a gay couple was "Whose the 'wife'?" At least in that way things have improved! They also had more of a tendency to remain in the closet as a couple if not as individuals.
I, also, remember a book written 30 years ago by a Dr. Charles Silverstein (don't remember his co-writer's name) about male couples and one of the conclusions was that a big difference in ages was an advantage which did work out with the 2 male couples I will be talking about here.
I was a disaster in 4 relationships which led me to make a decision over 30 years ago that I have never regretted.
16 people like this
14 responses
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
8 Nov 15
I have been married for 47 years and dated him for 3 years before. I hope we will have many more years together. I know quite a few other long term couples by that I mean 40 or more years.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
9 Nov 15
@GreatMartin That is true but I am madly in love with my best friend and while one never knows what goes on behind closed doors, I think most of my long term friends are very happy and well matched. It is usually obviously when there isn't love or even like involved.
3 people like this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
10 Nov 15
@BelleStarr It really is not obvious--just like many gay people aren't 'obvious'-- people hide secrets while some won't acknowledge like a man would never let anyone know his wife has cheated.
Are you saying none of your long term friends haven't divorced?
3 people like this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
9 Nov 15
This is NO reflection on your marriage but I know many people who stay together because of financial reasons or companionship or fear of being alone or knowing what they have and afraid of what they may get--and, yes, many stay together because they are best friends and/or love each other.
2 people like this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
11 Nov 15
My parents have been married now for 60 years. To me that is a milestone. And an awesome thing. My marriage only lasted 17 years. And honestly I am happy to be out of that prison now. I am with the woman I should have been with. But this relationship is only 6 years so far. I do plan on staying with her for the rest of my life though. However long that will be.
2 people like this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
12 Nov 15
@GreatMartin LOL. I hear you on this one. I know. Divorce is so common now. I know, back in my parents day, divorce was like a taboo subject. They did stay together for better or worse. Not anymore. I was actually relieved when my marriage broke up. I felt free again. So maybe there is something to this whole divorce thing. Also, kids, or I should say, young adults today don't even bother getting married. It is safer that way.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
12 Nov 15
Not taking away from your parents or my brother and SIL who I will talk about Friday but our parents didn't even let divorce enter their conversations/feelings--it was not an honorable thing--today they have divorce parties!!
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
13 Nov 15
@inertia4 Also today the life expectancy is a lot longer--people are waiting longer to get married and are having more marriages. Of course that goes to are men suppose to be monogamous--another discussion!
1 person likes this
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
21 Jan 16
There are people who are destined to be together forever.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
7 Nov 15
63 years is remarkable. Currently I have only reached 33 years so half way there myself! LOL
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
9 Nov 15
Ah-0-the second 33 are the hardest! 
1 person likes this
@martygoldeng (47)
• United States
6 Nov 15
An excellent way to approach a topic, which after thousands of years of human history, is just now starting to be an "in" thing with normal people as well as the usual left-leaning liberals.
But the fact that this topic has its nose out of the doghouse finally is not by far the end of the struggle. Old attitudes don't die easily.
The longevity of a relationship is itself testimony to its sincerity. In the context of LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer) longevity in terms of anniversaries also is like being a highly-decorated soldier for a good cause.
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
9 Nov 15
This is NOT about 'left-leaning liberals' or conservative tea party Republicans'-- this is about relationships which some people are good at and some aren't.
This is not politics unless you want to get into that aspect--if so start a discussion.
How long have you been in a relationship? What is the longest amount of years have you known a couple to be together? Gay or non-Gay?
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
9 Nov 15
@martygoldberg No discussions on your board--why not?
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
6 Nov 15
Even us older folks do not hae a real understanding of how things change in society over the years.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
9 Nov 15
I understand--doesn't mean I have to like all the changes!!
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
12 Nov 15
my mum's parents had been close since their childhood and lived into their early 70's
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
13 Nov 15
Same as my brother and SIL--will be posting about them tomorrow!
@LeaPea2417 (37379)
• Toccoa, Georgia
20 Nov 15
My husband and I will celebrate 28 years at the end of next month. I think I surprised some of my family members. I honestly think they didn't think it would work.
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
14 Nov 15
Dr. Charles Silverstein wrote a book about gay couples and he found the most successful were those where the age difference was 5 or more years and that 15 was the best.
1 person likes this
@Dragonairy1 (1722)
• Newcastle Upon Tyne, England
7 Nov 15
13 years together, 12 married and I'm hoping for many more together
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
9 Nov 15
I had 4 relationships before I realized that I am better/happier living along with just a family of friends to call on.
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
20 Nov 15
My wife and I have been married for 25 years! Lots of arguments, lots of laughters, and not a lot of kids . . just 4!
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
9 Nov 15
I went to my first gay wedding in 2004 shortly after Massachusetts made it legal. It was a delightful day and event. My niece and her wife are still living Happily ever after.
