When the bridegroom changed his mind
By Boingboing
@boiboing (13153)
Northampton, England
November 9, 2015 4:52am CST
What would you do if you'd bought a new outfit and an expensive present, paid for a hotel and then the wedding got cancelled just a couple of hours before the ceremony? Even worse, what if you weren't a guest, but the bride?
You hear about these stories but always imagine that they are urban myths but this morning our plumber told me about the tiler he uses. The guy was supposed to get married this weekend. His fiancee's family had travelled over from Wales and were all in the hotel and getting glammed up for the wedding when he got cold feet and called it off.
It's not like he couldn't have already worked out in advance that he was making a terrible mistake. Perhaps he should have thought more seriously before he had a kid with his bride. As she stood there in her £2000 wedding dress, filled with nerves and excitement, he told her he didn't want to marry her.
Then to add insult to injury, he told her that he'd cheated on her 30 times in the last year.
I was intrigued but John the plumber didn't have the details. He couldn't tell me was it 30 different women or 30 actual 'acts of union'? Not that it really mattered. This lying, cheating pig had let down his bride, her family, his own family, and (as they always say in the reality TV shows) he'd let himself down too.
I worked with a guy who called off his wedding about 20 years ago. He and his fiancee realised it just wasn't right for them and let everybody know about a month before the wedding. They couldn't get a refund on the honeymoon so they went anyway. It was obviously not a nice situation but they both acted like grown-ups, cancelled everything they could, sent back the presents and apologised to friends and family.
There's a right way and a wrong way to do a terrible thing. And telling your bride on the morning of the wedding is definitely the wrong way.
41 people like this
40 responses
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Nov 15
It's not like he didn't do her a favor by not marrying her, but his timing sucks. This is another reason why I believe elopement is the only decent way to get married. She's well rid of him, but I would certainly sue for monies spent and unrecoverable.
7 people like this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
9 Nov 15
pretty horrible for the bride and all the guests - what a rat and in a way it is better than finding out after the wedding
4 people like this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
9 Nov 15
@boiboing I'm sure she will find lots of support from family and friends while no woman should trust him again
2 people like this
@Juliothemadpoet (90)
• Bangalore, India
9 Nov 15
@boiboing I think that first you have to be honest with yourself. Like, obviously the guy didn't loved her, and he knew it, so, why let things go too far?
You have to be a real man to do the right thing before is too late, especially when it comes to women. They are soft hearted creatures (not that I see them as animals of course, just using the term), and ruin one of the most expected moments of a women's life... that's something.
The guy is still a kid. Sad.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (100540)
• India
9 Nov 15
@boiboing ..well, it is a long story. My aunt got a chance to break my mother's engagement for capturing her inheritance. My mother had no parents nor siblings for getting required support. She did not really recover and dad is basically a very tough person to get along with. He signed away my mother's properties as suggested by his sister without bothering to keep an account and later on wanted to divorce her when she was penniless and uneducated.
5 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
9 Nov 15
@vandana7 Vand, I must say.. you have the most awful relatives ever!
3 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Nov 15
I have been to at least three weddings that got cancelled. Customs and traditions here in India are different, but it is always a pain. On one instance I had even vouched to marry the girl (back then I was unmarried) just to safeguard the interests and the investments.
I really feel bad when such a thing happens. On two, it was the dowry thing and on the third the couple did not feel right to be together. The parents did try convincing them but they did not go with their advice.
I wonder how people can be this way and wait till the last moment for saying NO. Terrible.
4 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Nov 15
@boiboing Yes. That was almost insane (I wonder what difference did that make), but then, people do have some preferences. The only problem (which in my opinion, is too bad) - they wait till the last moments and cause embarrassment, inconvenience and pain to so many people including their families.
3 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
9 Nov 15
What a nasty little runt. I am sure she will in time think she has had a lucky escape. She is certainly better off without the cheating low life. It must be a year of jilting as we were due to go to a wedding in the summer but it was called off about a month before the wedding. Thank Goodness I had not booked the hotel or bought a suit I would have had the right hump had we all bought outfits for it. These days it is incredibly expensive for guests to go to a wedding.
3 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
9 Nov 15
@boiboing Are you seriously telling me that women would wear the same outfit twice to a wedding. I always thought it a jolly good excuse to buy a new one! 
4 people like this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
9 Nov 15
@garymarsh6 I can't be doing with too much shopping. I'd wear the same thing several times.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (160909)
• United States
9 Nov 15
My sister in law cancelled her wedding a couple of years ago, but continues to live with the guy. He has been married five times previously, and divorced by the women. In our opinion he is taking advantage of her, but we also think she just does not want to be alone.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160909)
• United States
9 Nov 15
Guess I did not comment about the mentioned situation. It was mean, and heartless and he should have broke it off much earlier. He is a jerk.
1 person likes this
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
9 Nov 15
@GardenGerty Wow, I can't imagine expecting marriage number 6 to be much more successful than the first five.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
9 Nov 15
We had friends where the groom backed out of the first wedding, They did reschedule and married and it didn't end well. He ended up leaving again, I think she should have learned from the first time and not let him back into her life.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (472004)
• Switzerland
9 Nov 15
I have read some days ago that a bride decided only a couple of hours before the wedding that she did not want to marry her fiancee. The banquet was ready and they decided to offer the food to the homeless of their own city. It was a great gesture.
2 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
10 Nov 15
How low down and dirty. I guess he could of done something worse and let everyone be there and never show up and leave her waiting in the back of the church.
I guess that is one reason when I hear the M word I run the other way. I have been with my partner a long time and never of us wants to get married we are happy the way we are.
2 people like this
@Katlynn (366)
• United States
9 Nov 15
I would be very hurt if the groom-to-be cancelled the wedding at the last minute and I was the bride-to-be. It would take a long time to get over and move on. Ultimately, he would be doing me a favor because better to know now than after we got married.
But, the man in the story you told should have called it off long before he did. He should have known he wasn't ready for marriage when he cheated so many times.
3 people like this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
9 Nov 15
Actually even though she was losing money on costs of things, I think she lucked out learning the truth about that loser..
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
9 Nov 15
Well, she should celebrate in having made a narrow escape from the worst mistake of her life.
I would commandeer a portion of his assets or send him bills to foot.
Probably take my best friend or mum onto the already booked honey moon and have a blast.
Having said that, I am a commitment-phobe, I probably would be the one saying "no" instead. xD
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
9 Nov 15
@boiboing Yep, I'd rather get an annulment.. at least we had the party etc and don't look like fools in front of all guests etc
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
9 Nov 15
@Drosophila - your model of embarrassment avoidance is reading like something out of Jane Austen.
1 person likes this
