"Dad, I Am Gay!"
By julito
@antonbunot (11093)
Calgary, Alberta
November 10, 2015 1:44pm CST
My friends, what is your reaction and response if your one and only beloved daughter tells you - "Dad, Mom, I am gay!"? Do you get outraged and ashamed of her?
My friends, our only daughter is gay. When she was 18 years old, she told her mother first before she acknowledged to me. One afternoon while I was watching TV, she sat beside me. She talked and I listened:
"Dad, I have to tell you something!", she said.
"That you are leaving us?", I responded grinning.
"No, not that!", she said smiling.
"So, what is it?", I asked.
"Dad, I am gay!", she whispered.
I pretended not to have heard clearly. But deep inside me, I felt as if something pricked my heart. However, I did not show it in my reaction. I stayed calm.
"What is it again?", I asked her.
"I am gay!", she replied looking at me trying to figure out my reaction.
"Honey, we know it! Your mom and I talked about it. We don't care whether you are gay or straight. You are our loving daughter. We love you so much. We are not even ashamed to tell the world you are gay! Being gay is not a choice. We know that!"
I hugged her and kissed her on her forehead. She was in tears! That was 10 years ago. Our daughter, a programmer, and her long-time partner, a nurse, got married two years ago. They are a happy couple. And like an icing to a sweet cake, her 3 older brothers are proud of their baby sister!
Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day, my friends!
Note: Picture taken from our family wedding album.
30 people like this
25 responses
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
11 Nov 15
I had know for years that my youngest brother was gay. But for some reason my mom could never except that reality that he was gay. She kept tell everyone that his BF was just a close family friend and now part of the family. I think some parents know in their hearts this is true but they have a hard time to deal with it or even accept it. I personally don't mind if this was true for my daughter as long as she was happy with her life and lived a good life with a person she loved and they loved her back.
5 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
11 Nov 15
@antonbunot I really don't care one way or the other and I guess a lot of people might. But here in the family my partner has a sister and brother who are both gay and it doesn't bother any of us at all.
2 people like this
@birjudanak (14320)
• India
11 Nov 15
I think most of people not like this relationship because its looks differnt but most knwong person is that who suffering from it. If their family mamber have no problem both person have no problem then why should have problem
3 people like this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
10 Nov 15
That is right! You know our daughter told us that her gay friends' parents are very disappointed . . and one couple even rejected their gay daughter! Stupid parents!
2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
10 Nov 15
Well, I should tell you that you probably did the right thing. A decade or more, earlier, things might not have been easy, but today, the Gay Marriages and the Third Gender are getting more acceptance and many places have them legalized too.
On a personal note, I am not a father yet, but I think my reaction would be similar as yours - there is nothing that I can do here, so definitely I will have to accept the thing as it comes, instead of a rejection or an argument - which would only complicate the relation between me and the child.
4 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23404)
• United Kingdom
11 Nov 15
Well done you. You are such a wonderful caring dad and I am so pleased that you have not turned your back on your loving daughter. Hats off to you although I understand the twang of your heart but my friend you will be richer for accepting her as she is. She is not some kind of monster she is your daughter!
3 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
11 Nov 15
This was the right reaction. You are a wise person. I grew up knowing that gay people were the same as straight. There was a male couple who lived across the street. They were great neighbors, and two really nice guys.
3 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
11 Nov 15
@antonbunot Since they could not have kids, they raised Dachshund puppies. The kids in the neighborhood loved these guys, so did our parents.
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
10 Nov 15
Thank you! 2 of the guys are our sons. Our third son was not able to attend because he was in the hospital, operated to remove his enlarged appendix a day before the wedding.
3 people like this
@just4him (317249)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
10 Nov 15
@antonbunot I know he wasn't happy to miss his sister's wedding.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
12 Nov 15
@antonbunot
I am also fortunate as all my boys have fairly good jobs and are well liked.
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
12 Nov 15
@Marcyaz I am also glad and feel a bit proud to see our 4 children, who are all university graduates, go to work looking "classy" . . not like their dad who used to go to work with a pair of old steel-toe-shoes and clutching a dilapidated lunch box!
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Nov 15
We have 4 children . . 3 boys and one girl, the youngest. We are fortunate to have wonderful, educated children.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Nov 15
That's the perfect way to react. If that's how it turns out to be with any of mine I think it will go the same way. They'll tell me and I'll be fine with it. I will tell my husband so he can get his reactions out of the way and he'll be fine with it too. I know at first he'll be shocked, but in the end he'll be okay, so I'd rather be the one to break the news to him.
So far I know my oldest 3 are straight, but I have 2 more little boys who aren't yet of age to know their preference, so you never know.
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
11 Nov 15
@antonbunot Gay is not an imperfection... I don't believe in imperfections and there is no such thing as perfect thus there's no such thing as an imperfection. I would not care if all of my kids were gay.
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
12 Nov 15
@katsmeow1213 You are right . . no one is perfect. But what is your explanation or term for a woman born female but feels a man? Is that not imperfection? Or is it defect. There must be a word to describe that matter.
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Nov 15
I hope they are all straight! Human imperfections are mostly hereditary. My late father was bald . . I think I am going to be bald as my hairline is receding and my hairs are thinning.
@silvermist (19702)
• India
16 Nov 15
@antonbunot It really is a great thing that you accepted and stood by her decision.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
17 Nov 15
@antonbunot Glad it turned out happy for your daughter and both of you -her parents.
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
17 Nov 15
@silvermist Thanks . . . Anyway, I heard that gays are ostracized in India.
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
16 Nov 15
Well, it pricked a bit my heart to learn that she's gay. She is our only daughter. Any parent would also feel a bit of disappointment. But our love and care for our only daughter PREVAILED. We love her so much . . and we are so happy that she loves us so dearly, too.
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Nov 15
@story07 . . I believe that being gay is not a choice but gays are born that way.
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Nov 15
@yalul070, my daughter is sitting beside me right now while I am responding to your comment. She just dropped by to leave their 2 cute dogs for us to pet-sit. She and her partner are leaving for San Francisco, USA, this afternoon to visit their friends over there. . she is smiling reading your comment and others' comments.
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
10 Nov 15
we need more parents like this for a lot of gays out there.She was lucky to have one.
For me.When I came out but much older I took a lot of bullying.Not from my family but friends?
You know what I am still living and most of them are gone.Good riddance
2 people like this
@jstory07 (139782)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Nov 15
You are who you are and you can not change that. That is great that you excepted it.
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Nov 15
@amadeo . . I believe that being gay is not a choice but one of numerous human imperfections . .
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
11 Nov 15
You would . . if you love your daughter or son to pieces! 
1 person likes this
@thiyagu_rtr (82)
• Chennai, India
10 Nov 15
If i were you, i would have slapped my daughter and then felt sorry for my act, not every person can accept this as cool as you did. It might take some months or years to change myself., i would be happy if my daughter waits for me. No matter what a daughter is always a dads angel.... and i'm not even married... :D
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
10 Nov 15
Well, I grew up in a country where gays are no different just like you and me. We are all human beings with imperfections - - No one is perfect . . and being gay is imperfection.
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
15 Nov 15
You know there are parents who could not take it! The parents of my daughter's friend, who is gay, too, could not accept that their daughter is gay. And when their daughter asked their permission to let her marry her partner, they rejected her. 
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
16 Nov 15
@antonbunot I think , when you are big believer of things , you can't just accept it right away . But time will come when they will realize , the just have to accept it .
@hlfbldmom (743)
• Philippines
1 Dec 15
Gay or straight it wouldnt matter to me because ahe is my daughter and I love her no matter what. I will accept her for who she is. And as long as she is happy that will make mehappy too. Besides how can others accept them if we as parents cannot accept them.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23672)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
12 Nov 15
I came out when I was 12 years old in 1948--I 'divorced' my family when I was 16--it still happens but I am so happy that your family has remained intact as your daughter is no different than she was before that conversation she had with you.
PS For what it is worth gay women have the same problems as nongay women!
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
12 Nov 15
My friend, what do you mean gay women have the same problems as non-gay women?
@Tampa_girl7 (50580)
• United States
12 Nov 15
I would love my child no matter what. You did the only loving thing you could.
1 person likes this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
12 Nov 15
. . But a friend of my daughter who is also gay got a different story. Her parents rejected her because she is gay!
@Freelanzer (10743)
• Canada
11 Nov 15
What a Beautiful story and my reaction would have been the same.
1 person likes this
