How will you manage heartbreak?
By Winky
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
Boston, Massachusetts
November 17, 2015 5:19pm CST
I received a call from a friend yesterday informing me that she's having a heavy heart. She told me that her bestfriend's girlfriend is coming over and will be staying over her house where she and male bestfriend lives. Her male bestfriend is renting one of the rooms in her house. My lady friend loves her male bestfriend dearly. Her love for him even went far by allowing herself to be in an intimate relationship with him but no commitment at all. Now she feels devastated when she received the news about the girlfriend coming. She anticipated the situation to be awkward. Her bestfriend only told her very few details and not even get her permission that his girlfriend (from another country) is coming over and will stay with them for a week. She is seriously heartbroken.
If you were in my friend's shoes what will you do to manage this kind of situation? I am curious to know your responses and will really appreciate your views. Thank you so much.
2 people like this
6 responses
@triplejazzm51 (1373)
• Philippines
19 Nov 15
Hi Winks,first,thank you for telling me that mylot is already back. I really missed this and at the moment i am still exploring how to start a discussion. It has a new face and i am starting again to find my way here. For now i will just maybe respond to discussions until i am familiar with the site.
Regarding your friend's problem,i think it is just a matter of acceptance. She just have to admit that the man she love does not love her and they have no commitment with each other. The arrival of his girlfriend is proof that the relationship between her housemate and his girlfriend is strong all the while. Your friend should distance herself from that guy or if possible not see him anymore to end the relationship. Being together in one roof makes her vulnerable specially with the kind of feeling she has for him. She can cure her heartache with determination in due time.
@stringer321 (5644)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
18 Nov 15
If I get it right, your friend loves her male best friend and she lets him stay in a room in her apartment and he pays her money for that.
If she has a heavy heart for having his woman around, she is jealous and maybe it's his fault.
As long as it stays this way, she will hope or even try to get his love. It can make her tired emotionally, never trying to meet another good guy who will love her back. She maybe thinks she can always get him if she wants...Instead of him, I would make sure that I love her too, I would grab such a girl in both hands and be loyal and thankful to her, kiss her, hug her and get married with her.
But, if I see that I don't love her, I will tell her I don't want to hurt her with my presence. My presence can waste her a lot of valuable time of planing and working for her dream because my presence gives her an illusion that the dream is already here.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
24 Nov 15
Hello Mor. Thank you for your response. Well said. We've been telling her to try to expose herself and meet new acquaintance and who knows she can meet the right guy along the way. But she's stubborn enough to limit herself an just contain her love for his male bestfriend who "again" does not have the capacity to reciprocate her love. He'd been so honest with her from the start or the moment he learned about her having feelings for him. Yes, she's seriously missing a lot of fun and the joy of being loved back. She deserved better.
@yukimori (10145)
• United States
18 Nov 15
The fact that he's renting changes the situation and makes him a tenant. I'm not sure that she can deny him the right to have someone stay with him, although she may want to consult a lawyer to find out how long a person can stay before being considered a tenant. I wasn't allowed to have my mom stay here with us after my last C-section for more than 14 days at a time.
Personally, I think your friend needs to find another renter. Business and friendship don't generally mix, in my experience.
1 person likes this
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Nov 15
Hi Yuki. Thanks for taking the time to respond. They've been friends for long time and period is not a question. Yes, he is a tenant legally. What complicates things is my lady friend had a feelings for him but he does not. Though again, they agreed to do things that couples does but no commitment. Now, her dilemma is--if ever she will talk to her male bestie and he decides to leave, she's not ready. Oh boy!!!
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Nov 15
Hello Amnabas! She tried to talk to him but with reservations. She is afraid that if he got embarrass he will leave the house and the friendship will be over. She's processing her feelings and finding the right questions and with sensitivity to talk to him. But, being straight forward is great but my friend is really not ready for whatever will be the outcome of it.
@GopherDanny (814)
• Philippines
18 Nov 15
Well, that would be pretty awkward. But seeing that they have no commitment to each other, your friend should really evaluate her emotions well whether she is really in love with her male best friend. And if so, I think it's high time for her to confess as well. But, since her male best friend already have a girlfriend, she might need to try later on without sabotaging their relationship of course.
If I were in your friend's situation, I would not live with them. Rather, I will visit some relatives or some other female best friends I can spend some time with if they want. It would not be awesome to be on the same room as the person that will make me feel less valuable in the room. 
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Nov 15
Hi D.B. Yes, awkward to the maximum level. She too just texted me that she feels awful.She is in love but not reciprocated. Her male bestie already knows about her feelings but is insensitive about it. He cared for her a lot but when it comes to his feelings to end up romantically -- just platonic and he's so vocal about it.
You are right. She is planning to go for a vacation and visit a friend closeby. I offered her but i am in Massachusetts and she's in Washington, DC. But she wants to spend some time with me but just far from her. Thank you for your response!
1 person likes this
@GopherDanny (814)
• Philippines
18 Nov 15
@msfrancisco9369 Well, I hope their complicated relationship will soon settle down for the best. Good luck! 
1 person likes this
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
18 Nov 15
Hi Janet. She knows that he's chatting with girls from other countries and she too is aware that anytime soon anyone of them can become his girlfriend and will come anytime soon. But, she just felt the impact when she was faced with reality that it's not just "chat" this time...she's here in person.
It's sad that she can't be logical and objective this time. She so consumed with what she feels for him and not even seeing if it's worth being set aside like that. Thank you for your response!
