Got to say it: family sometimes just stinks

@enlightenedpsych2 There is no way in hell that I will celebrate or support the relationship that my mother has with her second husband. She has been involved with him since I was seven years old, and nearly every day that I spent in the same house as him was hell. We're talking about a guy who emotionally, verbally and physically abused me, who convinced my mother that I was deeply disturbed and needed to be heavily medicated. You know what my problem was? I lived with an a**hole. Things were great as soon as she kicked me out of the house at 18, if you don't count all of the lingering psychological damage I'm still finding more than ten years later. I really don't give a rat's behind about my mother's relationship. She's a big girl, and if she wants to play codependent enabler for a narcissist she's more than welcome to. But she's damn well not welcome to bring him around my kids, because I will not tolerate them being victims of his abuse.

Mom is at the point that she does not remember stuff- it literally is like taking candy from a baby. I will not dishonor her by taking money from her each month- we are not rich but I just won't do it.

@enlightenedpsych2 Good to hear from you. @yukimori You are in a hard situation, too. I wish the best for you.

@sallypup Yes, we have always been there for each other. My two brothers and I took care of my dad in his later life until he passed away at the ripe age of 100 and a few months. We all shared with all our hearts in caring for him.

@1hopefulman Such a sweet affirmation. My Mom is now 94. Everyone she has stayed with she has ended up not liking- control issues? She wants to be Mom but no longer has the capacity to be that. She is being quite difficult this morning. We are trying to get around her nastiness. I think my hubby and I need prayers, please.

@1hopefulman I'm glad there is a deep down in your family.

We do not live right near town so Mom has had to rely on me to take her to town for hair stuff and the senior center etc. I said to Mom tonight that she could talk with the ladies who do needlework and Mom said outright that she does NOT want to talk to them- she wants to do her embroidery by herself and not with others. A relationship only works two ways. Me and hubby can only do so much. Mom has pups and cats to play with here. At sisters: an untrained dog. Divorce time coming up.

@sallypup sounds like Mom is pretty demanding and cantakeros and that gets old real quickl My roomie was l ike that and they did try to care for her in their home ajnd she jus drov them nuts hence she was here. Im not here because of that as my son and i always got along great. I did not put huge demands on him as I had been retired bu t found the old mylot.but some old people are here because their children didnot please them no matter how good they were to them sad. my dad was that kind of person.

@xstitcher For years I've teased people saying things like "Good night, Mary Ellen!" so yes, Good night, Grandma!

We can dream and live the good life through the Waltons.

The older I get the more I am grateful for my hubby's constant love. I did engage in two team work phone talks with two siblings today. I am also grateful that we were able to talk together in a decent, listening manner.

@TheHorse We have a difficult situation cause Mom sends letters to folks,dinging the people (us) that she is living with. She tells nasties about the other family members and just stirs the pot. It truly was a miracle that I had a amicable chat with family today.

@sallypup I spoke on the phone with my Uncle (mostly about basketball) last night, and with my Aunt this morning. I prefer one on one conversations where low drama is involved. I left a message for my brother a few minutes ago.

I'm sorry. I wish I could help.

@sallypup I have had to forgive him, not for his sake but for mine.

@LovingMyBabies That is the best way to go but it is hard.

@lovingMyBabies That kind of emotional abuse is hard to shake off and walk away from.

The family member won't keep an eye on Mom like I do so one and all will be happier.

Hi @just4him It is an outrage. Especially when it is a family member doing it. The sister says she needs the money to pay for the higher electric bill that Mom racks up to stay warm and also for stuff like food. So far my hubby and me do not feel we need the money. We do withdraw money from Mom's account for stuff like her medications.