When Is Humor Insensitive
By dorianna
@dorianna (509)
United States
November 21, 2015 5:20pm CST
A relative recently posted a comment on Facebook that went something like this;
"Was shopping at Target. The salesgirl's name was Isis. When she completed my sale, I said,'your name is da bomb'. She didn't laugh"
When reading the post, I felt immediate distress for the salesgirl. I asked my relative if it were her would she laugh. She said 'absolutely, you have to laugh in life or it will destroy you'
I realize she is young and has no frame of reference to how the girl may have felt. But one should not have d to experience something in order to have empathy. I was not able to convince my relative (she thought she was cool) that is was insensitive.
I have a funny bone and enjoy laughter. Sometimes I am downright silly. I love a good sense of humor in others as well. But I contend there are some circumstances when humor should not be used.
Had this been a public joke with a public audience, it may be acceptable comedy, tho it still is an sensitive subject in view of the recent attack on Paris. With all the anger & bias in the world and my country (U.S.) over ISIS and wrongful attitude to good and honest Muslims (prejudice), I find her joke not only insensitive but unkind, one that could have cause the salesgirl emotional distress, perhaps even fear.
What do you think? Do you think there are times and circumstances that humor should be avoided?
9 people like this
11 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
21 Nov 15
I do think humor should be used in a sensitive manner, some people don't get that though. With everything going on I think your relative should have been more thoughtful before saying something like that.
4 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
22 Nov 15
I personally don't find that one too funny. I think this person sort of has a sick sense of humor and I am glad she didn't direct that one towards me. I might of taken her receipt that she used to pay with and said something nasty about her name.
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
22 Nov 15
I think telling that joke to a friend whose name is ISIS would be okay . . but telling to a stranger is not a good thing to do.
2 people like this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
22 Nov 15
I see your point if the friend and you have a good rapport. I think, though, timing has a great deal to do with it as well. Just after an ISIS might not be the time to joke about it. Even a friend may feel sensitive because of the anger and hate being spewed
2 people like this
@antonbunot (11093)
• Calgary, Alberta
22 Nov 15
@dorianna You are right! But so far I have not met one whose name is similar or quite similar to ISIS or Alqueda. There was one small business establishment here in Calgary with a name ISIS . . but it changed it 2 years ago to another name. Maybe lots of people are staring at its signboard and some were even doing a "dirty finger" as they walked by!
1 person likes this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
22 Nov 15
@antonbunot It is a shame that people let their fear make them hateful to the innocent. I would imagine there are others who are changing their names because of ISIS terrorists. So sad.
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
23 Nov 15
You really have to know your audience when it comes to humour. There are some people I know who I can joke about any subject with whereas with others, I know there are certain subjects to avoid. In this instance, you are talking about a complete stranger so really have to tread carefully or risk causing offence.
You also have to consider that this poor girl has probably had to put up with all manner of jokes and insults regarding her name, everyone thinking that they are being witty and original. They're not!
2 people like this
@TimBurWrites (469)
• United States
22 Nov 15
That sounds like a joke Anthony Jezelnik would say.
2 people like this
@TimBurWrites (469)
• United States
22 Nov 15
@dorianna He is a comedian known for making cruel insensitive jokes like that about tragedies, handicapped people, cancer patients, This humor is not funny to me but a lot of people like him.
I think n the situation you presented that it was wrong to make that joke... VERY Unacceptable unless you knew the person real well.
2 people like this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
22 Nov 15
@TimBurWrites Thank you for clarifying how you felt. I agree totally with you. I do not find derogatory humor funny. True, we should be able to laugh at ourselves and life, but some carry it too far. I doubt I would like Anthony Jezelnik either.
1 person likes this
@cindiowens (5120)
• North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
21 Nov 15
I think that was very poor judgement on her part. Her name was Isis. Not ISIS. Isis was a mythological Egyptian Goddess of magic and life. Quite a beautiful name. ISIS is an acronym for Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Big difference between the two names. Bad girl.
2 people like this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
22 Nov 15
@cindiowens Nope, compassion and empathy is learned by example, just as insensitivity and self-importance. I would not have said anything but had hoped I could help her understand how the girl felt. In a few short arguments on her part, I realized she could care less. Sadly what she thought was her right to laugh at it was more important to her.
3 people like this
@cindiowens (5120)
• North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
22 Nov 15
@dorianna Yes, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, does it?
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
23 Nov 15
This type of humour is on par with poking fun at others, or having a laugh at another person's expense.
Practice with caution and only with people you know.
Practice with strangers, it is just bad manners and likely to earn you a slap (or worse with the wrong crowd).
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
23 Nov 15
@dorianna I spent some time in a rough part of London, where people actually get attacked for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time to the wrong person.
1 person likes this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
23 Nov 15
@Drosophila I would imagine this one would have been attacked. While that is a drastic measure, some folks need a lesson in sensitivity.
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14320)
• India
22 Nov 15
its rally bad joke or sense of humor because he feels it just a joke and gone but other side its about her feeling and may be she feel guilty even she do nothing,so without knowing anything we can have to point on anyone because may be one day we also come in this situation then someone do comments on us or laugh then we understand that its easy to make joke on someone but when someone joke on us then see the reaction.in short we not have permission to hurt someone.
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14320)
• India
22 Nov 15
@dorianna thats why already i put discussion that you not have value of thing till it with you but when its not with you and need it then realized so when she suffer from it then automatically understand left her on its situation.
1 person likes this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
22 Nov 15
@birjudanak yes, I understand that is what you meant. Unfortunately, not all people learn. One should be able to have some empathy without having endured personally the experience, else we would all have to suffer all the time..:( I hope someday she will learn, it is a shame that she probably won't learn unless someone hurts her badly.
1 person likes this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
22 Nov 15
@birjudanak Yes, well stated. If it were done to her in the same situation she would have to feel the same discomfort that she imposed on the salesgirl. I tried to make her see that point of view but she was too self-involved and didn't really care about the girl's feelings. Very unkind.
1 person likes this
