When Depression Strikes!
By Star_disgate
@star_disgate (779)
Phoenix, Arizona
November 22, 2015 4:50am CST
I don’t exactly know what brought it on. I guess that is the thing about depression. It just comes and goes sometimes. And other times, it hits you for a while. The hardest thing about it, is having to put on a happy face, while in the back of your head, you have this gnawing feeling, just chipping away at you. It’s like nothing can make it better.
You start to look at everything differently. You are always fighting an inner battle with yourself. You may even create an inner dialogue. It makes you feel even crazier than you are. One part of you is telling you to do this, or do that. And these things your mind is telling you, aren’t the sweetest things. But then you have your reasoning. Your conscious. Telling you to calm down a minute. It will tell you that the things you feel about yourself aren’t necessarily true.
The truth about depression is that it can be dark. You do things against your better judgement. Some people will wonder why you want to listen to sad songs all day. Sometimes those songs help you through it. As a writer, I like to get my feelings out. I feel that it’s my way to completely let myself go. I don’t necessarily tell everyone my feelings. Sometimes I do. And people do get tired of hearing about it. So you can’t always find someone to trust. And most of the time, they don’t understand. So they don’t know how to react to what you are saying.
For me, the most random things can push me into a depression. Right now, I think it is a mixture of being sick and not getting out much since I have been sick. So I have been stuck in a room for about 2-3 weeks, barely getting to see the outside world. It sucks. I am doing all I can to get better and I feel like I am actually starting to have some improvements.
My blood pressure has been up. That’s normal for me, but I am going to be getting back to a doctor soon. I have major goals for the next year. I plan on achieving everyone of them. There will not be anything holding me back. I can overcome all of my obstacles. I plan to!
10 people like this
13 responses
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
22 Nov 15
If you can, get 5 minutes of time outside today, even if it's just relaxing in a chair. depression can have many causes and sometimes many at the same time, a nice little tasty something, some sun, and something you enjoy, even if it's in small bits, and even if you don't feel great about it, it all helps
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
23 Nov 15
@star_disgate sometimes you just gotta do the stuff to help get better even if you dont seen immed results, meds, counseling, therapy, SAD lights, change in diet, whatever it takes
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
22 Nov 15
I know how depression could be. I suffer from it myself. I have my good days and my bad days. Music does help and it works for awhile. The part I hate about depression is that I have little to no motivation. No energy. That's a bummer. I try and lift myself up, but again, that lasts only minutes. I do go to therapy though. And that does help. I figure if I live one day at a time I might be good to go.
2 people like this
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
I know exactly what you mean. I have no energy a lot of the time. It hits me hard. I even have days where I plan things out. Then I get to that point and just don't care.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
23 Nov 15
@star_disgate Right. Don't that bug you? It bugs me when I feel like that. I am hoping i can somehow snap out of this for awhile at least.
@GardenGerty (160600)
• United States
22 Nov 15
My first husband suffered from depression, sometimes our son does as well. When exploring the idea of depression so that I could understand it, I learned that sometimes a virus can trigger the chemical changes that lead to depression. He did take some medication, off and on, and then all the time as he got older.Other things that helped were exposure to light, either sunlight, when he was driving a truck all day or even being exposed to light for extended time when he was acting as a manager on a 4-12 shift at the terminal. Still it almost always kicked in right between Thanksgiving and Christmas and persisted until May or June, in other words the gloomier months. You probably know all of this. I could suggest writing in a journal when no one will listen. Then either put it away or throw it away. It helps to express yourself. Sometimes just eating a good meal would interrupt the cycle for him as well.
1 person likes this
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
I actually have a journal I write in at times. My plan is to publish it one day, so that others can see inside the life and mind of someone who suffers from depression, but in a mild way, because I know that mine isn't as bad as some peoples can be. I think that is one way I know I am not crazy. I know that things could be worse and I at least try to bring myself out of it.
@skysnap (20153)
•
23 Nov 15
@star_disgate indeed. and we have to improve ourselves without people too. that way when negative people strike our life. it does not get much damaged.
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
Negative people can have such a bad impact on your life and the way you feel. I am glad others think it is good to surround themselves with positive people!
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
22 Nov 15
This is a difficult time for anxiety.depression, other problems this is the time a year when they can be real bad I also suffer from depression.
1 person likes this
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
24 Nov 15
@star_disgate It could be something to do with anxiety related depression over time.
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
I think this might be one of the first times I have suffered from it during the holidays. Hopefully things turn around. Anxiety drives me crazy. It's like my thoughts are racing. I know my depression is mild, but the anxiety part isn't. I say this, because I stress over the smallest thing. Someone could text me and I start freaking out over what it is they could have said. At night, I will have nightmares about something as simple as going to the grocery store. But I don't think it's social anxiety.
@Marilynda1225 (82690)
• United States
22 Nov 15
I've never suffered from depression but my son in law has periods of depression that are debilitating. It's true that I can't totally understand how it feels but I do have sympathy for anyone who suffers from it.
1 person likes this
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
I am sorry to hear that. It can be frustrating. I feel bad for anyone who has to deal with me.
@celticeagle (166613)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Nov 15
I have been plagued with depression most of my life. I find that if you know yourself well enough you know when it is coming on. If you are lucky enough to catch yourself before things get dark you can bring yourself out of it. And, you have to be good to yourself. If you aren't depression can come up quickly and stay a while.
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
That is very true. And then you have people who think it's not a real issue.
1 person likes this
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
@celticeagle I agree with that!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (135836)
• India
23 Nov 15
Both mind and body are connected For a healthy body a healthy mind is required and vice versa. Depression no doubt becomes apparent when there are situations that need handling but they can be handled if one has a healthy body.
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
I think the depression part will mostly be minimal once my medical issues are handled. As far as my anxiety, that's another story.
1 person likes this
@slund2041 (3314)
• United States
22 Nov 15
I am sorry to hear you are sick. I understand completely about your depression. Yes, it is hard to talk to people who doesn't suffer from depression, because they do not understand. I suffer from depression as well, and I try to keep my feelings to myself. I can tell people do not really care the few times I have tried to get it out so best if I deal with it alone. Sometimes, I feel like I would feel better if I could just tell somebody. However, when people do not care, it doesn't help you to feel better.
I try hard not to waddle in it, and find something to help lift me out of the deep depression I get in. I am in bad health too, and a lot of times that is what I am depressed over.
1 person likes this
@star_disgate (779)
• Phoenix, Arizona
23 Nov 15
What I hate is when I try to talk to the people who should care and they just go "oh". Or think I am looking for attention. I don't really post on FB about it, but sometimes I do, just so people can tell me to snap out of it. The way I put it, is I might say things like "I wish I weren't here and things would be better without me.", But to me, I am not seeking attention or trying to make people feel sorry for me. I honestly just want people to know how I am feeling and I know I need help. I normally have a friend or two who well then tell me how important I am to them.
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
23 Nov 15
I have a close relative that suffers from depression, he couldn't even get out of bed when it hits. Exercise seems to help if you could do it.
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
1 Dec 15
@Juliothemadpoet thanks thanks! You're right about the pharmaceutical industry. It's a big business.
@Juliothemadpoet (90)
• Bangalore, India
1 Dec 15
@drosophila, (nice tagname by the way, creative and intelectual), now that you mention it, depression it's highly connected with emotions of sadness and happiness, and exercise gives dopamine to the body, so, the solution is simple, do thigs that you like.
I can't say much about it, but pills related to depression are really nothing more than dopamine estimulators, so they are just feel happy pills, and people actually get addicted to them not only because of this, but because they don't need to do much to be happy, just need to take the pills, and this creates a vicious cycle to it, inducing more dependance on the patient and increasing the level of depression steadilly. It may sound like a conspiracy theory, but It's logical
medical companies now a days, don't really care about patients, they care about Money. They know the solutions of the problems but if they give you, you won't come back, and if you don't come back, they don't win with it. it's all a game, specially in the US.
Just my point of view.
ps: I am Angolan. (hahhahahah)
1 person likes this
@Juliothemadpoet (90)
• Bangalore, India
1 Dec 15
Hey, I know that we don't know each other or something but the thing is, depression has a bright side of it. Just look at my case:
I was passing through depression most of my teen age, if not all of it, and let me tell you something, I conquered it, and thanks to it, I conquered myself. These inner dialogues, been there, now just imagine having 3 persons talking inside your head. Yes I have been through madness, but the thing is, I gained wisdom, understanding of things, calmness, awareness of the small things, happiness and actually I got the meaning of life.
They say that a three can never reach the heavens if its roots don't reach hell, and it's true.
I am a poet, and in all my poems you will find the traces of depression, wisdom, understanding, and the views that I have gained from that time. That's why I call myself 'The mad poet' or even the delusional poet, and I am proud of it.
Thank to depression I have known madness, and thank to madness I know myself.
To be honest with you, being in full time madness, is... an unique experience, and they call madness what in reality is just an 'hydrid sanity' or 'state of true consciousness of self'. At least that's what I learn from the experience.
My actual state? I am as cool as a ice, 'lucid', happy and wise. Maybe because of my scorpio nature... who knows?
I can see that you are a fighter, but you are just not 'confident enough' about your potential and your own self. But one thing is for sure, you have what it takes to be the 'real you'.
Hope that this was helpful to you. Take your time to get better!
