NO TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMENS...!!! Help me out to decide pls what to do.!

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November 21,2015 saturday around 9:30 pm is the most unforgetable night of my life. This is also the reason why I wasn't be able to post & update here at mylot.com for past few days. It's such a big relief writing & conversing to each & everyone of you. I'm Thankful that this page helps people in many ways. To Begin my story before that incident I just wanted to give a brief background of it . I'm a Mother of a 4 year old boy & a Partner of my son's father. We've been together For 5 yrs & supposedly turning 6 years On february 2016. Our Love story start Great & pleasant. Then our baby came which is a blessing to us but things starts to fall apart. There's alot of issues from my past & his past that always brought up & causes the arguments & misunderstanding. But Ofcourse after that Lovers Quarel later On we are ok again. Our life was like a see saw sometimes we are ok & sometimes not. I didn't stop him to Love. I keep On trusting him & understanding. We forgive each other every after fights but things are just repeating all over again. Hmmmm Ofcourse i keep On forgiving him again there were times in our relationship that I really wanted to leave him & just wanted to Live with my son away from him . I got tired of his promises that he keeps On breaking but I couldn't abled to leave him because of he doesn't want to & there was a time that he will shoot his head with his gun because i will be leaving him that time. That scares me alot ,it made me nervous that the only thing that i did was to hug him & told him that i will not leave him. That was hard For me to see a person kill himself because of me. That incident Bring us together & Live normal again but as usual there's alot of problem that we can't scape event bought we tried to solve. Recently the Pastor in the church his attending gives as counsil & agreements to just separate --- Sorry fellow a i will continúe this later. My sons woke up. Mommy mode for a while.