On being a closet non-drinker..
By Wendy789
@Drosophila (16571)
Ireland
November 23, 2015 12:47pm CST
At the beginning of the month, I'd decided to take a break from drinking.
It was partly stemmed from one massive Halloween celebration that had me nursing one stinking hangover. I woke up on a Saturday morning still drunk from a cocktail of cider, beer, and wine.
I felt so bad physically and mentally I'd even visited the local AA's website. Trust me, don't do that! It will only depress you more.
Another big reason for stop the drinks was the calories! Seriously not helping with my weight loss program. So all in all, I've decided to quit drinking for a while and see how I get on.
My main concern was what to do when my friends go out drinking again? Sure enough, come the next weekend and I was summoned to our local's. That's when the opportunity of being a "closet non-drinker" presented itself.
I showed up at the pub, ordered a coke, sat down with my mates who were working on their pints. We talked about all sorts of things, given my "alcohol-loving" history they didn't even think I wasn't drinking.. As they get more and more wasted, they didn't even notice I was somewhat more coherent.
Later on I've even received a message from the group saying what a great time we all had and let's do it again soon.
So unwittingly, I'd become a "closet non-drinker". It feels somewhat wrong, on par with deception. Should I tell my mates that for the last few times they'd been utterly wasted, I'd been stone cold sober?
What are your thoughts on this?
10 people like this
9 responses
@GardenGerty (160697)
• United States
23 Nov 15
I do not think you need to tell them anything. Will it change anything for them? Will they try not drinking? Will they like you less?
4 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
I think I'd certainly be "encouraged" to drink for sure. Folks don't like getting drunk around sober people. Because, I might "just" remember stuff.. I'm not supposed to. xD
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
Good to hear! I'm not the only "closet non-drinker" around. Where I am at, social drinking is like 2 pints a night, 6+ for a night out (Friday or Saturday).
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
25 Nov 15
I can't believe that no one saw you drinking just coke lol.
If they didn't notice would they ever? Did anyone buy you a drink, maybe not other wise they would have know. I'm sure I would have noticed, because I would have bought you a drink.
Do what best for you and your diet, which I wish you all the best with,. How is the diet going anyway?
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
25 Nov 15
@Drosophila 1.5 stone ok, I hope you can, that would be great for you, all the best with it.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
25 Nov 15
@kevin1877uk Thanks thanks! ya trying to get back to 8.5 stones.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
25 Nov 15
lol.. ya I mostly buy my own drinks. Someone did buy me a drink way later in the night, but they just assumed I was trying to sober up. Diet is going good, need to lose 1.5 stones.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
Good call! I actually have a better time being sober. I don't get wasted then end up in the local Kebab place and blow my diet on a Kebab.
1 person likes this
@chelseaearnsmore (208)
• United States
23 Nov 15
It might *feel* like a deception, but you didn't hide not drinking, they just didn't notice.. whether out of obliviousness or not. If you tell them you're not drinking for awhile, would they peer pressure you into drinking? Call you a pansy for not? You have valid reasons for not imbibing for awhile, and if they're your friends they should understand if you choose to tell them :)
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
@chelseaearnsmore Oh totally! In Ireland having a few is the norm, so it can be difficult explaining to people why I want to take a break. Tbh, I feel so much better since I've stopped drinking.
1 person likes this
@chelseaearnsmore (208)
• United States
24 Nov 15
@Drosophila I had friends like that.. when I told them I was going to stop "hanging out with Mary Jane" as they say for awhile, almost all of them tried to get me to do it anyways, even though I had very good reasons not to. They aren't my friends anymore. Bit drastic for sure, but that's just people dragging you down to their level. Overall, as long as they won't incessantly try to make you and make fun of you for not drinking, you can tell them.. but if they do, then they really don't have much respect for your goals, eh?
1 person likes this
@chelseaearnsmore (208)
• United States
24 Nov 15
@Drosophila I definitely feel ya on the difficulty explaining.. it's hard when something is so normal that everyone just does it without thinking, then when you stop doing that "normal" thing, you're not normal anymore! So strange. That's fabulous you feel better now, though! Really shows what you can accomplish when you put your mind to things :)
1 person likes this
@totobasso (331)
• Canada
26 Nov 15
That was very clever the way you handled it. I think I will do the same in the future. As long as we are drinking, do we need to tell them what we are drinking?
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
26 Nov 15
Thanks thanks! That's a good point, as long as we're having a drink, we don't exactly need to disclose what's in it.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
24 Nov 15
You're right! I'm not hampering their enjoyment by being sober.
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
25 Nov 15
Ya! it's odd when they just assume you're in the same drunken state they are in.
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
8 Dec 15
Now that I am sober, it's definitely odd to see how very drunken people can just look so uncouth! Yet, I was like this not long ago.
1 person likes this
