~Thanksgiving Is A Hard Holiday For Him~
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
Valdosta, Georgia
November 23, 2015 1:33pm CST
Every year part of me is glad for the special holiday and another part of me is sad for the day. My husband is never happy about the day, he always wants to be alone and not think about the day at all. It makes me sad because it's supposed to be a day for family to be together.
My husband's father died 7 years ago on Thanksgiving Day. Since then, the day has never been the same for him. =( We were at my parents house the year he died and my husband got the call. We went home immediately and my husband cried for hours on end, it broke my heart.
I will never forget that day and I keep hoping one year the day will get a little easier for my husband to handle...But I understand that it's not an easy day as he loved his father so much.
16 people like this
9 responses
@dorianna (509)
• United States
23 Nov 15
It is sad to lose a parent and it does take time to heal. Hard as it is on the family, it is difficult to to celebrate thankfulness on the very day you lost someone you love.. Hopefully in time, he will be able to heal the pain with the love of his own children.
Perhaps, if you set aside time in the day for a memorial ceremony to remind the children of their grandfather and share with your husband a celebration of his father's life. A special prayer devoted to his father, each family member sharing a favorite memory and after dinner a trip to the cemetery. In that way, not only will it be a day of giving thanks but a family celebration of his father's life and giving thanks for what his father contributed. In this way, might it establish the family unity in thankfulness as well as memory of your husband's father.
6 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@dorianna I think that is such a wonderful idea! In years past we were not in the same state as the cemetery but now that we are we can definitely do that. Thank you, I think that is such a wonderful idea and my husband would appreciate that a lot.
5 people like this
@dorianna (509)
• United States
23 Nov 15
@LovingMyBabies Oh I hope it works for you. Both my parents are gone now, 6 years the latest. It is difficult to lose your parents.
3 people like this
@chelseaearnsmore (208)
• United States
23 Nov 15
I'm very sorry that happened to your husband, it's very difficult losing someone so close on a day meant for family.. however.. I do have to say that seven years is a long time to grieve, and while you can never "get over" the passing of a loved one.. your husband should really try to make the effort to ensure every new Thanksgiving with YOU is filled with happiness and joy, and remember his father fondly amidst other family. He's letting one bad Thanksgiving memory "ruin" almost a decades worth of new ones.. I certainly hope it does get easier for him, because you two should be happy on this day together! :)
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@chelseaearnsmore I completely agree with what you said here. And I do hope this year will be different. I keep praying anyway. He just gets really quiet and kind of to himself. But then again, we have spent most years with my family and this year we are not. We are spending the day with friends and family we adopted, Lol. I am hoping being around different, good people will also help.
5 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@chelseaearnsmore I am hoping so because he doesn't like my family on a normal day-much less a day like that. So let's hope this year will be different.
3 people like this
@chelseaearnsmore (208)
• United States
23 Nov 15
@LovingMyBabies That's great to hear you'll be switching things up this year with "adopted" family and friends! :) Maybe that will be the ticket to keeping his mind busy and involved in the present day, rather than stuck in all those years ago.
3 people like this
@GardenGerty (160677)
• United States
23 Nov 15
Even if he thinks he is not thinking about it, it comes, I am sure. You may want to try to make some new memories, or maybe not. Maybe just acknowledge: Yes, you feel sad. That is much better than pretending otherwise.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@GardenGerty Yeah, I am hoping this year will be different since we are spending the day with people he will enjoy being around. I am praying anyway. Every year before we have spent the day with my family-who he is not crazy about to begin with.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Nov 15
@LovingMyBabies I hope it may be. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@dodo19 Yeah it is tough on him, I'm just hoping this year will be better.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@jstory07 I don't want to do that because our children won't really understand that.
@Marilynda1225 (82797)
• United States
23 Nov 15
It's sad to lose a parent but must be especially hard on your husband since Thanksgiving will always remind him of his dad
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 Nov 15
@Marilynda1225 Yeah it is, I am just hoping this year will be better because the company will be better this year.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
24 Nov 15
Everyone has lost someone important but he should remember to be thankful on Thanksgiving for what he has now, you. A small celebration of happiness won't diminish the love he has for his dad.
@Fleura (30401)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 15
I am sorry for the loss and it is hard when this memory coincides with a 'special' day when it seems that everyone else is enjoying themselves. But life must go on and I'm sure your father-in-law wouldn't have wanted to spoil Thanksgiving day for the family for ever.
