I Am Such a Turkey
By AnjaP
@Rollo1 (16679)
Boston, Massachusetts
November 23, 2015 1:52pm CST
I haven't ever really had trouble cooking a turkey - but I have had a lot of troubles with turkeys that resisted being cooked.
One year, the turkey started turning pink, and purple. And it wasn't because it wasn't cooked through. The timer had popped, but it was purple. I mean, the longer I cooked it, the more purplish the meat became. I even took some of the meat and microwaved it to see if it was a problem with doneness. It wasn't. It just got more magenta as it cooked in the microwave. I decided not to let anyone eat it and I threw it out. I bought another turkey and made it on another day. I discovered later that the meat turning pink was a sign that it had been frozen, thawed and frozen again.
Turkeys never thaw in the amount of time that the USDA says they will. I have had turkeys thawing for days that still refuse to give up that bag of giblets stuffed deep inside their ice crystal cavities.
But I should have been okay with yesterday's turkey, because I was cooking in the Nuwave and I can cook from frozen in a few hours' time. And the website says to just check halfway through and pull the neck and giblets out then. What I didn't know until I had my frozen bird unwrapped, is that they had also stuffed a plastic bag full of gravy inside the turkey. The end of the plastic bag stuck out, waiting to be melted by the infrared waves of the Nuwave.
So, I stopped the oven every 10 minutes, trying desperately to wrest this plastic bag from the turkey's icy grip. It wouldn't budge. But it would rip, and soon melted gravy was filling the cavity and runnin out and down the turkey. By that time, I realized the plastic pouch wasn't going to melt so I set the oven for a longer period and waited. By the time I got that pouch out of there, I had to actually pick up the both frozen and hot bird and dump the gravy out of it.
On the other hand, the giblets and neck did come out at halfway through the cooking time, with no trouble. A little tin foil over the breast at this point helped keep it from getting too brown and the rest of the cooking went fine. Fine meaning unattended.
Anyway, despite the way it started, the turkey was delicious and we had dressing and potatoes and corn and cranberry sauce with it.
And the Nuwave cooked my 12.5 pound turkey from completely frozen in under three hours. So it is nice to be able to decide to cook that turkey in the freezer for dinner.
27 people like this
26 responses
@troyburns (1405)
• New Zealand
23 Nov 15
I know I shouldn't be laughing, but this was darn funny. I've never cooked a turkey and now I probably never will.
3 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
24 Nov 15
Oh you can laugh at the petty atrocities of my daily existence. Go ahead, ridi pagliaccio - but he who conquers the turkey laughs best. It's really not hard to cook a turkey, just to defrost one. I wish they would just stop packing the neck and giblets and various and sundry items inside the bird, then freezing it all solid.
3 people like this
@troyburns (1405)
• New Zealand
24 Nov 15
@Rollo1 - I'm sure it was all worth it in the end. At least you didn't get it stuck on your head,like Mr Bean.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (341752)
• Rockingham, Australia
24 Nov 15
@troyburns That was so gross wasn't it? He used to make me cringe sometimes?
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (83074)
• United States
23 Nov 15
I always cook my turkey in the oven but I'm intrigued with how easy you cooked your bird in that Nuwave oven. The only disadvantage I saw was the stupid little gravy packet LOL Not having to thaw a turkey certainly is a big plus in my book. I prefer turkey over chicken so I make turkey more than just on Thanksgiving. Normally it's a pain but this sounds relatively easy
3 people like this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
23 Nov 15
Holy crud @Rollo1 , what a nightmare. I'll be eating my usual tuna fish sand, soup and chips; since I'll be alone anyway.
2 people like this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
24 Nov 15
Good to hear it all cooked so fast and ready to eat..I'll be there for dinner soon..hahah
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
24 Nov 15
I am to nervous to cook a whole bird myself. I've done the fixings. I have even cooked a whole spiral ham, but I will not lay my hands on a whole turkey.
No sir ree Bob. Atleast everything turned out well this go around. I'd hate for you to have to throw out a whole turkey again!
1 person likes this
@LongTongueScrog (6)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 15
I think turkeys are aliens sent down from a distant poultry civilisation to somehow trick us humans into thinking they're nothing but stoopid, ugly feather shakin gobbledigooks with their molten plastic rubbery blood congealed necks..one day the rest of the gang from planet turkey are going to turn up on our doorsteps and then what?
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
23 Nov 15
I hate my NuWave Oven..it always took longer than they said and from frozen forget it. I decided I'd rather cook in the real oven at least I know how to time thing in there. Have you ever seen wild turkey (not the booze) - the meat is gayish when cooked.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
24 Nov 15
@Rollo1 I am ready to trash that oven. I can cook faster in the convection oven.
@Tampa_girl7 (50596)
• United States
24 Nov 15
My worst experience with a turkey was when I dropped a beautifully cooked turkey from the oven to the floor.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
23 Nov 15
I would be terrified of a turkey turning those colors!
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (41692)
• United States
24 Nov 15
I thought I was the only person in the world who couldn't thaw a turkey as fast as I was supposed to be able to. Glad yours turned out well after all!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160883)
• United States
23 Nov 15
Reading people posting about their NuWave is making me want one as well.
1 person likes this
@Namelesss (3365)
• United States
24 Nov 15
OMG, I could see you wrestling and playing tug-o-war with that turkey. Reckon you won when it upchucked the gravy bag. . It's a good thing he was only a 12 pounder, could you imagine if he had been 20 pounds?
Reminds me of the year I cooked and brought all the trimming. Mom only had to cook the turkey. She DID put it in the over - but forgot to turn the oven on.
1 person likes this