Farting, Burping and Smoking all at the same time

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This one went a little too far if you ask me. Sunday I woke up to the cocks crowing, the birds chirping, and Dakota sitting on top of me licking my face. He was telling me it was Sunday and the sun was already shining. Yes, but what Dakota doesn’t understand is how to tell time. It was just 5:30 in the morning and it was Sunday. On Sunday morning this is Dakota’s time and mine alone. We take a long walk and enjoy the early morning sun. Dakota is let off his chain, to run on the beach and play in the sand. I sit and laugh at this little guy as he runs around digging giant holes looking for buried treasure. By the way he hasn’t discovered any yet. On the way home we always stop at the Moon Ray to have Sunday coffee and share a delicious order of Poulet Roti, FeiFei, and some other special treats. The little restaurant we visit is typical of the islands. They have an area indoors for guest or you can choose to sit outside and enjoy your day. We always sit outside because as you know dogs aren’t allowed inside. Today one of the outside tables was occupied by this older man. He sat there with his face almost in his plate of scooping food into his mouth with his hands. The only time he came up for a breath of air was to let out this astronomical burp. He immediately dug right back in. He had a cigarette lit sitting in the ashtray, He would look up from his plate of food and take a few drags of his cigarette and go back to eating. As I was waiting for my coffee and food to be delivered the beauty and tranquility of the morning was rudely interrupted. This guy let off the loudest fart I think I have ever heard. The world around me stood still, the birds stopped singing and Dakota sought refuse under the table. Immediately the air around me became filled with this toxic gas, my eyes watered, and I could no longer breathe. I immediately started to search for the emergency gas masks that the establishment should have on hand for incidents such as this. I waited to hear the air raid sirens going off, but to my bewilderment nothing happened. This happened two more times and I couldn’t take anymore. I asked the waitress to box up my delicious morning meal so I could leave. When Sunday comes this week I don’t think I’ll ever have the same enthusiasm that I have had in the past. I’ll never visit the Moon Ray on Sunday morning again. I’ll be too afraid to run into this person sitting at a table shoveling down his food, smoking while he eats and farting up a storm. I fear the place needs to have a fumigator called in to get rid of this order he left behind. Have you ever uncounted a person like this when you tried to enjoy a beautiful day and drink your morning coffee? Image source – pixabay.com