Any thoughts on father's affair?

China
December 1, 2015 12:36am CST
OK. Really an old story. This was discovered last year. I couldn't believe it, but my father has been having affairs...I always thought my parents' marriage was good but not perfect – they always cared about each other but also with some small quarrels, which was rather common as far as I'm concerned. My father has a quiet sedate nature, really not good at expressing his feelings or emotions. And my mother had undergone ups and downs with my father after marriage. I know that my mom loves dad deeply with a bit of hate. I have no idea what happened between them. As their daughter, I don't know how to make this up.
7 people like this
8 responses
@allknowing (136100)
• India
1 Dec 15
This is a very delicate situation. Your mother must be in the know of this and turning a blind eye for the sake of peace. Raking it therefore will upset the apple cart.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (136100)
• India
2 Dec 15
@Shepherdessyay I hope those cards are strong enough to make you father think twice about continuing that affair. I hope all will go well for your family. Do you know who your father is having that affair with?
1 person likes this
• China
2 Dec 15
@allknowing Thank you! And yap I knew. My mother told something about the women who have affairs with him. But I still have no effective ways to deal with it.
• China
2 Dec 15
Nope, that's not the situation. My mother has already put cards on the table and urged him to stop this affair.
@moondebi (1199)
• Bangalore, India
2 Dec 15
Sometime, one doesn't remain much to do to rectify such a situation.
1 person likes this
• China
3 Dec 15
Yup, it's. Do you have any good advice?
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Dec 15
And you are caught in the middle of this so I too did not know how to handle it My dad cheated on my mom but she refused to leave him, I think because she had no job skills. she had gone from high school right into marriage and he was much older than her. I wish I had som wisdom to tell you but I too never did know what to do. Perhaps suggest that they see a marriage conselor as that might save their marriage
1 person likes this
• China
2 Dec 15
Thanks!! So we are both in the same boat. My parents refuse to divorce because of the fact that they don't want to make my little bro live in a broken family. Just for the goods of the children. My mother wants to save this but my father seems to be not willing to make efforts. I hope my mother can overcome this awful situation with each day passing by.
@UmiNoor (4523)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 15
It's a terrible situation that you have found yourself in. You'd probably be asked to take sides and that is a most difficult decision to make. Perhaps you can just leave them to take care of it. It has nothing to do with you and you don't need to take sides. They're adults and they should act like the adults that they are and settle this themselves.
1 person likes this
• China
2 Dec 15
Just let it be? I guess I have no other wise choice.
• Valdosta, Georgia
1 Dec 15
Wow that is so awful. =( I would hope my husband would leave me before cheating on me. That would break my heart. I cannot imagine how your mother must be feeling.
1 person likes this
• China
2 Dec 15
Yes, it really hurts. All I can do is to stand by my mother. I hope such thing never gonna happen to you.
@MALUSE (69373)
• Germany
1 Dec 15
Poor you! This is outside my field of experience. I have no advice.
1 person likes this
• China
2 Dec 15
Well, doesn't matter. Glad to know that you don't have to deal with such situation.
@youless (112481)
• Guangzhou, China
1 Dec 15
I am sorry to hear that. I think everything depends on your dad. If he promises not to have an affair any more. Perhaps your mom will give him a second chance. perhaps this is already a good ending.
1 person likes this
• China
2 Dec 15
Indeed. Now the situation is controlled by my father. Up to now my father still don't admit his affair and my parents are still playing a game of cat and mouse.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (139579)
• Roseburg, Oregon
1 Dec 15
If your parents can not work everything out. You need to be there for them. You can not do anything about what has already happened.
1 person likes this
• China
1 Dec 15
Thanks for your reply. I think they right now go nowhere since my father won't stopping the affair. Sometimes I just want them to divorce and free themselves from this disgusting mess. But I know they won't divorce since my little bro is still young. What a mess I have to say. I have talked to my father and he said he would change but actually nothing changes happen. What I can do now is stand by my mother and try to comfort my teenager bro.