Oversharing
By Cahaya
@cahaya1983 (11116)
Malaysia
December 4, 2015 3:09am CST
Nowadays they call it TMI - Too Much Information.
You might have had your fair share of experience with these people. Those who share too much information about their relationship problems, or all the gory details about a disease that they have, for instance.
I'm referring to real-life interaction, because if they're written online, obviously they're easy to ignore.
I don't know if it's a habit or it's just something people do to make themselves feel better. I normally don't stop or interrupt them when they start spilling all the unnecessary details - out of politeness, for the most part - but I don't encourage them either. But sometimes it hurts my ears!
How do you deal with people who overshare things?
24 people like this
19 responses
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Yeah in fact I think a lot of people see it as a greeting rather than a question. But when you meet that person in the elevator who spills their entire life story as an answer though... 
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
4 Dec 15
Some people may not have anyone to vent to so they vent to you. We all feel better if we have someone we can talk to about things. If someone is giving too much information that really grosses you out, just tell them that it was TMI and you would prefer to just hear the facts.
3 people like this
@simone10 (54187)
• Louisville, Kentucky
11 Dec 15
@cahaya1983 Yes, it does depend on the person. I don't know what I would do or say if it was a relative.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
I guess it depends on who the person is, too. If it's someone close to me I wouldn't have a problem telling them that but sometimes if it's an older relative or an acquaintance, it kind of makes me feel guilty. 
2 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
7 Dec 15
@cahaya1983 Sometimes it seems important to the person to express their feelings, so I do not totally shun them.
2 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Yep, most of the time I don't really pay attention to all the details and just respond politely when necessary.
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 15
Nowadays I will try to avoid, especially when it's negative information. I have been unfollowing some friends in Facebook, especially those who kept complaining or spreading negative energies. Of course, when I can't avoid, I will just have to listen and see if I can change the topic to a more cheerful or meaningful one. 
1 person likes this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
@cahaya1983 Yes, I have met some ladies like that as well, especially when I am at the park with my children. I think some people just like to find someone to talk to. I don't mind listening to them, if it's not too negative, as my children are around. I don't want them to be surrounded by negative information.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
I've unfollowed many people on FB because of that. It's harder to do in real life encounters, though. I know one lady who can't seem to leave any little detail unspoken even though it was the first time my husband and I met her.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Same here. Most of the time I wouldn't mind listening just because I feel bad if I stop them and say I'd rather not hear too much stuff.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 15
I know right. Makes me feel like I'm waiting for someone to rescue me from that conversation.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
4 Dec 15
It is good on your part
that you give a patient hearing to people who believe in sharing every thread of information. I also face such people at my workplace and it makes me feel irritating sometimes.
Perhaps, some do not know the art of narrating a story to the point and in brief. Moreover, there is another problem - everyone wants to talk and no one wants to listen. There is dearth of good listeners. Since you show enough patience to hear them, they go on and on and on ..........
that you give a patient hearing to people who believe in sharing every thread of information. I also face such people at my workplace and it makes me feel irritating sometimes.
Perhaps, some do not know the art of narrating a story to the point and in brief. Moreover, there is another problem - everyone wants to talk and no one wants to listen. There is dearth of good listeners. Since you show enough patience to hear them, they go on and on and on ..........1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Good point. I think that can be another reason why some people find it easier to share a lot of things with someone and not another person. They don't just need someone to listen, but to listen with empathy. It makes them share more than necessary just because they feel more comfortable, I guess.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
8 Dec 15
@cahaya1983 - Yes, most of us need empathy, which is even difficult to show than listening only. You are right some people are unable to check that they are repeating something and sharing unnecessary information and wasting invaluable time of the listener.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 15
Yeah I know, it's just that it can be very uncomfortable especially if you're the type that doesn't like to hear every teeny weeny detail about their life issues. 
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
4 Dec 15
My reaction depends on my mood and the way that I feel that day. If I have my own problems and worries I don't have the patience to listen to a lot of details about other people's problems. On most days I simply listen to people's problems even if they go on and on or share a lot of details. Some people are lonely and don't have many people to talk to and I am usually willing to listen if they need a person to talk to.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Yeah I guess I wouldn't mind listening if I know they're lonely and don't have that many people to talk to. But then again, some people just have a habit of talking too much.
@rocky1980 (530)
• Chandigarh, India
5 Dec 15
I agree with you but what if such a person is very close friend or relative of yours. We can not ignore our closed and dear ones. we have listen to their boring long stories of personal experiences as we can afford to hurt their feelings. But if they are not close you can always tell them directly you are not interested in TMI.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
Oh, I thought it's easier the other way around. Maybe it's just me. I don't know how not to appear rude for telling someone I don't know very well to just stop sharing things because it's TMI. I find it easier if it's someone whom I know and who knows me very well so they wouldn't be offended.
Maybe it's just me. I don't know how not to appear rude for telling someone I don't know very well to just stop sharing things because it's TMI. I find it easier if it's someone whom I know and who knows me very well so they wouldn't be offended.1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Dec 15
As someone else said some people don't have many people to talk to so I listen and try to be comforting, no matter what it is.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
It depends on the situation, I suppose. In some situations like you said, they do that to find comfort and I do my best to listen even though I know I can't solve that problem.
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Yes that's what I do too, sometimes. I'd try to find an appropriate time to steer the conversation in another direction.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
Exactly! That's the main reason why I'd rather not stop or interrupt them. They won't go on forever.
1 person likes this
@marijuana (570)
• Tel Aviv, Israel
4 Dec 15
Oh I am allergic to that but I have to pretend It's ok otherwise I will lose a lot of friends lol! Some people just like that 
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
That's true. Maybe it's just a habit and they don't see anything wrong with oversharing things, but it does make me feel uncomfortable sometimes even though I don't voice it out.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223133)
• Chile
4 Dec 15
Some people talk too much and it is part of their personality. I have also seen that as people age, many tend to talk mostly about their ailments.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
9 Dec 15
I don't mind listening, even if it's about their sickness. It's just that when they share too many "graphic" details and so on that makes me feel uncomfortable.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
4 Dec 15
Someone mentioned that Earplugs are a great invention
In the past, I was an ardent listener and would listen to almost everything I was being told with complete zest and enthusiasm and even interact. And most of this came from my parents, late grandparents. Today, it mostly comes from my wife
.
For everyone else, it depends on my mood.
In the past, I was an ardent listener and would listen to almost everything I was being told with complete zest and enthusiasm and even interact. And most of this came from my parents, late grandparents. Today, it mostly comes from my wife.
For everyone else, it depends on my mood.1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Haha earplugs?? That would be too mean.
I'm a good listener most of the time. I really don't mind listening to people's problems, but I think some people find it hard to contain even the smallest details and just can't help sharing them. That's when it gets irritating a bit especially when you have other things to do or in a hurry.
I'm a good listener most of the time. I really don't mind listening to people's problems, but I think some people find it hard to contain even the smallest details and just can't help sharing them. That's when it gets irritating a bit especially when you have other things to do or in a hurry.1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
7 Dec 15
Well I was referring to real-life interaction, actually. If it's online I can easily ignore what they write and move on.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14749)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
27 Feb 16
People do say too much. We don't need to know such things.
@Marilynda1225 (82800)
• United States
15 Jan 16
I used to have a co-worker who always shared WAY too much and sometimes she would make us cringe. Eventually someone spoke to her about her oversharing
