My attempt at poetry as promised

@Asylum (47893)

Manchester, England

December 8, 2015 3:49am CST

There is a Poetry challenge going around in which members are asked to compile a poem containing the words Softly, Eggplant, Snow, Yesterday and Potent. I rarely bother with challenges, but I was bullied into this by @poehere so here is my feeble attempt: As I stroll along the sands on this never ending beach I look up at those snow capped hills, so far beyond my reach My mind drifts back to yesterday and those many days before That seemed to pass so quickly and shall be seen no more Potent memories of eggplant seem to drift off on the breeze And mingle with the salty mist rising softy from the seas This life has been so fleeting, and now is almost done While those wondrous hills, so very old, have only just begun

12 people like this

13 responses

@gudheart (12659)

•

8 Dec 15

Nicee :D well done. I might give it a go, but I am not as good as you though lol

3 people like this

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

I cannot truly imagine anyone being much worse than I am because I am certainly not a poet.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

@arthurchappell I once ate a nut, so does that make me a nutter?

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Arthur Chappell

@arthurchappell (44998)

• Preston, England

8 Dec 15

@Asylum you wrote a poem - ergo you are a poet

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Arthur Chappell

@arthurchappell (44998)

• Preston, England

8 Dec 15

good poem - just written out my entry to the challenge too which I'll post up later today

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

I should have expected an entry from you Arthus because I know that poetry is an interest of yours.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

@arthurchappell Apparently the challenge began with @Jessicalynnt but it was the entry by @poehere that drew my attention.

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Arthur Chappell

@arthurchappell (44998)

• Preston, England

8 Dec 15

@Asylum I didn't see the initial post from @poehere so only discovered this one is rolling from your own post here

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@rocky1980 (530)

• Chandigarh, India

8 Dec 15

very good poem, I have also took up the challenge and I have posted my poem in the comment of the poem challenge discussion. Don't forget to read it. need your feedback

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Thank you, I shall certainly go to see what you have created.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

@rocky1980 I have visited your profile page, but cannot find the discussion in question. Have you actually submitted it yet, or are you in the process of writing one?

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@rocky1980 (530)

• Chandigarh, India

8 Dec 15

@Asylum thanks and wait for your feedback.

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@garymarsh6 (23404)

• United Kingdom

8 Dec 15

That is a brilliant attempt well done.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Thank you Gary, but I would be more inclined to consider it as satisfactory.

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@garymarsh6 (23404)

• United Kingdom

8 Dec 15

@Asylum It is a far better effort than I could muster!

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@poehere (15123)

• French Polynesia

8 Dec 15

This is absolute wonderful. It is so well done and most of us went for the cold way around. I love the way you added all of this and the idea of sun and snow mixed give this such a warm feeling. Well done and my hats off to you on this one.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

So you are not as disappointed as I suspected that you may have been. It does present a challenge integrating obscure and unrelated words, but I was determined not to end up drifting away from a single subject.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

@poehere Very generous of you.

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@poehere (15123)

• French Polynesia

8 Dec 15

@Asylum I think you handled this one like a pro. No I am not disappointed but impressed. This is excellent and such a great poem to add to this challenge.

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@anamika5776 (250)

• New Delhi, India

9 Dec 15

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

9 Dec 15

A rather ethereal comment, but I do get the approximate gist of it.

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Arthur Chappell

@arthurchappell (44998)

• Preston, England

9 Dec 15

@anamika5776 great definition of poetry and a poem in itself

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@anamika5776 (250)

• New Delhi, India

10 Dec 15

@arthurchappell thanks

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@celticeagle (168256)

• Boise, Idaho

8 Dec 15

You have choses some great words as describers here. I think that is very important.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Poetry is not really my forte, despite what a few members seem to think. Nevertheless, I do have a respectable command of English and tried to utilise the words accordingly.

@sishy7 (27167)

• Australia

8 Dec 15

Well done! I can see from most attempts I've read that Softly, Snow, and Yesterday seem to flow together while Potent and Eggplant would present some stumbling blocks. And poor eggplant has mostly received the potent effect.

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Yes, those words do make the challenge a little difficult to say the least.

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@hereandthere (45645)

• Philippines

8 Dec 15

i liked the cadence (is that how it's called?) and was starting to imagine myself right there, feeling melancholy and nostalgia (are they the same?), but images of eggplants floating like clouds suddenly popped in my mind and got distracted a bit then went on to finish it. it was really nice.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

The word Eggplant was a difficult one to encompass, which did require a bit of imagination.

2 people like this

@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)

• United States

8 Dec 15

*standing ovation* I quite like the flow but I think the last line just grabs a person straight in the heart.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Very kind of you to say. I felt that at least it would be a reasonable offering.

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@Marilynda1225 (83109)

• United States

8 Dec 15

Wonderful job

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Thank you, it did require a little more thought than I expected.

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@TheHorse (220265)

• Walnut Creek, California

11 Dec 15

Nice! I, too, often think of eggplants I have known. Some were in Thai food. Some were on the ground. Some were in my guilty adolescent fantasies. It's hard not to think of the fleeting years without thinking of eggplant.

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ElizabethWallace

@ElizabethWallace (12074)

• United States

8 Dec 15

I don't usually care for poetry (except that of Heinrich Heine), but I do like your entry.

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

8 Dec 15

Everyone seems to be quite kind in their appraisal of my attempt. It would have been much easier if I had been given a less bizarre selection of words to integrate into the text.

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@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

9 Dec 15

@ElizabethWallace Eggplant was rather a proverbial spanner to throw into the mix, otherwise it would have been relatively easy.

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ElizabethWallace

@ElizabethWallace (12074)

• United States

9 Dec 15

@Asylum I think that was the point, can you do something at all with crazy words. Yours worked well, but then...

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