It's The Fourth Day Of Hanukkah, 2015, You CENSORED

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If this one disappears, you might be able to see it here: Contrary to what you might be thinking right now, I haven't lost my mind. Nor have I forgotten that it's Hanukkah. All your other theories are wrong, too. It's not Bonnie's or Clyde's birthday...Oh, before I go on, I should explain that the above images are of Bonnie And Clyde and some of their guns. That's kind of important since most of the time when I use a picture, they disappear. Now let's get back to your biggest crackpot assumption (We would go over all of them if we had forever but we don't). This isn't a salute to Bonnie And Clyde, per se. This is a salute to Hanukkah and Christmas that just happens to celebrate Bonnie And Clyde's remarkable ability to be ahead of their time. If you're still a little confused, just bear with me. Above you see two photos of Bonnie And Clyde that were taken circa 1933. They aren't ostensibly Christmas pictures but they were taken to send to their families, especially during the holidays, so please don't get too hung up on that little detail while you watch this, a video from just the other day, which happens to be the Christmas Season Of 2015: A Very Locked And Loaded Christmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZKNv_ld_WE See? In the 1930's, Bonnie And Clyde were considered criminals (Even by their fan club which was enormous) but today, we know that they were simply Conservative Republicans. Well, except for the refusing to steal from ordinary people and the way they destroyed mortgages while robbing banks whenever they could so people wouldn't lose their homes. But they also occasionally robbed gas stations and grocery stores owned by poor people so I guess you would call them Imperfect Conservatives/Liberals. Like I said, don't make this whole thing fall apart by dwelling on those details. Just look at the pictures of them proudly displaying their guns and compare them to the picture in the video. The only way Bonnie And Clyde could have better fit right in as current Conservatives is if they had included children in the gun photos! Thank God, today's Conservatives have better sense than the Imperfect Conservative/Liberals of the 1930's. And that brings me to next point. A plea to all my Jewish friends: Come on and get with the program! I have yet to see a Hanukkah picture featuring kids and guns! And you gun hating, America despising, darn Liberals? You're so messed up, I don't even have time today to go into all your problems. Why don't you realize that the only way to prevent gun deaths is to give everyone, including toddlers, an AK-47? If you're still clinging to stupid old fashioned ideas such as, "Guns are not toys," have a few of these, the Theme Drink that Fifi, my Sommelier, invented for today: ================================== Guns For Everyone Ingredients: 1-1/2 oz Absolut Kurant 1/2 oz Triple sec 1 splash Cranberry juice Mixing instructions: Put into mixing glass all of above. Mix well, pour into cocktail glass. ================================== I hope you're thinking more clearly now. Clearly enough to realize that their are still a few shopping days left til Christmas and the end of Hanukkah and here some ideas to get you started: G&A Basics: How to Choose Your Child’s First Gun. And while you're buying guns for the children in your life, don't forget the less fortunate. Go here, Guns for the Children, and give as generously as you can ((This might be a satirical joke site but it could be real, too)) . Isn't it awesome that we live in a country where in most places a teen can still be sent to jail for a very long time for possessing a very little bit of marijuana but we actively market guns to children that are much longer? That's why today's Featured Party Game is nonsecular. It's just a simple tribute to this wonderful country that transcends all faiths and beliefs: Binders Full Of Boys And Girls Wearing "Hands Up, Don't Shoot," Thongs. Where and what you put your hands up and what you shoot or don't shoot is entirely up to you. Well, mostly. Suzette, my Chef De Cuisine and Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Domestic Bliss, is a gun hating, America despising darned Liberal and to prove it, she long ago declared the entire house a Gun Free Zone. So when it comes to the shooting, you're going to have to use your imagination. Until the darned Liberals ban that, too! Here Are The Links: http://history1900s.about.com/od/1930s/a/bonnieandclyde.htm http://www.gunsandammo.com/how-to/ga-basics-how-to-choose-your-kids-first-gun/ http://gunsforthechildren.org/