"It's not ME! It's you!"
By Wendy789
@Drosophila (16571)
Ireland
December 9, 2015 3:23pm CST
"Dear Diet, Things just ain't gonna work between us! It's not ME! It's YOU! You're boring, tasteless, and I just can't stop cheating on you" - LeFunny.net
Yes! You heard! I've been cheating on you!
Don't look so shocked, it's hardly out of the blue!
I've been carrying on with all the fresh meats in town!
I simply must confess, I do love that foot-long sausage in a bun!
Nothing taste better than a flame-grilled burger.
Topped with cheese and bacon straight off the back burner!
I don't know why I bothered with you for long.
Clearly, you are no good for me. You are Mr Wrong!
So now GO! Walk out the door! Just don't turn around now, because you are NOT welcome at all!
I've got all my life to believe! That I can eat all I want on Xmas Eve!
I will survive! In food I will thrive!
- How's the relationship going between you and your food?
32 people like this
24 responses
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
9 Dec 15
food screams when I approach - I sometimes call myself The Buffet Slayer after Buffy The Vampire Slayer
8 people like this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
10 Dec 15
@Drosophila there's an episode of the simpsons where Homer bankrupts an all you can eat diner by eating everything in it - I keep thinking I could do that
5 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Lol the buffet slayer! Yep I do good there too! Especially with Chinese buffet!
4 people like this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
10 Dec 15
@arthurchappell yeah I saw that one... lol's .... 
3 people like this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
9 Dec 15
and if vegetables tasted like cookies we would all be skinny
3 people like this
@Missmwngi (12915)
• Nairobi, Kenya
9 Dec 15
Ha haa well said,talk of taking those tasteless vegetable smoothies lol
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
@Missmwngi vege is ok as a soup, that's what am doing these days vege soup!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
I should try that! I mean one slice of chorizo can't do harm right?
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Amen! Supposedly my new trainer says I can eat whatever I want! I just gotta burn it off!
2 people like this
@bluesa (15022)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
10 Dec 15
@Drosophila , your new trainer is awesome then! As long as the words, you can eat what you want, are there, everything seems do-able. :-)
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
@bluesa That's what I thought! he is a bit of a drill sergeant! So i guess I'll be on a hardcore exercise routine.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
I do have to keep myself in check when it comes to food!
1 person likes this
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
10 Dec 15
Love this. Everyone must have problems with diets simply because they are not lifestyle changes. I have been on a couple and watched my friends crash and burn. The best ones to go on are the ones that you can take one day a week off to cheat on. One I have been doing off and on, it's a love - hate relationship, is so many calories per day. I just eat the amount of calories without worry what is going in my mouth. That is the easiest so far for me. Fortunately, I also don't have dietary restrictions that I need to be cautious of.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
That is good, maybe I should give it a shot. I have a diet that basically cuts out these things 1) processed food. 2) any vegetable below the ground 3) carbs no pasta etc
Then 1-2 times a week allowed lean red meat. Can eat fish/poultry.
1 person likes this
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
11 Dec 15
@Drosophila Good heavens, what do you eat? That's horrible. That is also definitely a diet. Doctors when recommending diets say you would never be able to do a right out diet and that you need one day a week to cheat. That's why if you are trying to do permanent weight loss you need a life change. Diets are good for five or ten pounds. Good luck with your diet. I think I would cheat on it everyday because I don't have much will power.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
11 Dec 15
@mommaj yep that's why i end up ditching it.. I ate lots of corn.. tons
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
11 Dec 15
I just eat when I want and eat what I like, I've never had to diet, just one of the lucky few.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (23148)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 15
@Drosophila Nah New Year's resolutions are only good for the first months of the year. 
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
@flapiz Amen! Except I did manage to give up smoking on a new year resolution.. some 4 years ago. :)
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Me too! I love eating hate putting on weight! But then hey I need a new year resolution right? Prolly more exercise and diet!
2 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
10 Dec 15
The 'pros' says don't diet, just change your eating habits. If you starve yourself of your favorite foods a diet won't last since you'll be tempted to pig out.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
10 Dec 15
@Drosophila Yes, and one thing I think works good, set a time at night to stop eating or drinking anything. Once I hit that time I brush my teeth and then I won't eat since I don't want to get them dirty again!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
@AbbyGreenhill That's a good idea! I typically stop eating at 21:00, but maybe I should bring it forward a bit. Maybe stop at 19:00
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Yep I think that's the key.. eat more frequently but less amounts.
1 person likes this
@ria1606roy (2797)
• Kolkata, India
9 Jan 16
"An Ode to The Diet----The Downfall"
This should be the title 
"When chicken summons from the kitchen
I'll have all that the diet has been leechin'......"
"When chicken summons from the kitchen
I'll have all that the diet has been leechin'......"1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
9 Jan 16
HAHAHA! oh yas I forgot all about the fried chickens.. YUM
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Jan 16
@ria1606roy I do love tandoori chicken yum
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
10 Dec 15
Nice one. Really nicely put together!!
I never used to have any issues with food. I could eat how much I liked of what I liked, when I liked. As I've got older I'v had to start being a bit more careful. I usually take it easy through the week then eat what I like at weekends.
Combining that with regular exercise seems to keep me in reasonable shape!!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
That's really good! Yep I'm usually good, it's just that since I quit sporting, I've been growing wider! so need to get myself back in shape.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
@WorDazza HAHAHA! Hugo the Dog! I guess you're now officially known as Hugo's Boss!
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
10 Dec 15
@Drosophila I've actually found that acquiring Hugo the dog a few weeks ago it's been easier to keep the weight off. I've added two 1/2 hour walks (sometimes 3) into my daily schedule!!!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Yep I love biriyani too! very yummy. Love indian foods.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
@shshiju Mutton/lamb is my favourite one! must have plenty cumin seeds
@shshiju (10342)
• Cochin, India
10 Dec 15
@Drosophila In biriyani lots of varieties are there which one you prefer?
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Yep, all this "you can't eat a vege that's grown blow the ground" thing is really really not helping! I love potatos!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
13 Dec 15
@just4him I guess a baked potato probably has less calories than fries.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317089)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Dec 15
@Drosophila I do to. I've heard it's not the potato but what you put on it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
10 Dec 15
I try to pay attention but do not want to neglect anything yummy. I love food. It is not just you.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
oh ya! life is too short, diet is too long.. xD
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Good to hear about your situation! I had a co-worker passed out once due to low blood sugar, it was pretty scary.
@1creekgirl (41447)
• United States
10 Dec 15
That is hilarious! I'm afraid I have a real love/hate relationship with food.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
10 Dec 15
Oh, I love it @Drosophila . Food & poetry at the same time.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
I was like this! Then my waistline just got out of hand!
1 person likes this
@marijuana (570)
• Tel Aviv, Israel
10 Dec 15
Our household is kinda semi vegetarian. Kinda boring but healthy :) I am craving for some steaks at the moment :)
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
10 Dec 15
Steak is definitely nice! I love steak with a nice pepper sauce! Or redwine sauce.
1 person likes this
