I NEED every possible detail!

@pgntwo (22408)

• Derry, Northern Ireland

13 Dec 15

Such is the nature of an increasingly litigious society...

4 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

13 Dec 15

Yes, @LadyDuck, I do realize that. But can't we just get some attorney to write up a generic form that actually stands up in court that states that I promise not to sue anyone for anything (assuming it's not like someone that attacks me with a crowbar for no reason of course!)....If I do something really dumb then I'm perfectly happy with paying for the damage and accepting the mental consequences using my own wallet (or purse) and brain. I'd love to sign that one! I plan on getting through life without suing anyone, personally! It's called "responsibility" or so rumors tell me!

5 people like this

Patsie Hatley

@Hatley (163773)

• Garden Grove, California

13 Dec 15

he he thanks for my first laugh of the season. Like the warning on the label of an electric hair dryer. Do not use in the shower. well boy howdy and miss the big electric charge, spoil all the fu n,.Yes I think they believe we are all morons indeed Even the rao blades caution us to not leave where children can get to this package. Maybe they are afraid we might get an urge to let a misbehaving kid cut himself or again they believe we are morons. Or the shampoo label do n ot u s orally? say what? W ho wants to shampoo their mouth?

5 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

13 Dec 15

I can hardly type I'm laughing at the idea so hard! LOL! Forget about the shock-value of the hair drier, so to speak, but how are you going to dry you're hair in the shower/bath? LOL! It's pretty much a zero net situation, no?! Oh my! That is a great example! Thank you, I needed that!

Who want's to put shampoo in their mouth you ask? I'm guessing anyone that hasn't fully read the bottle MIGHT since we all raise ourselves, or else by wolves which can't talk...

3 people like this

@pgntwo (22408)

• Derry, Northern Ireland

13 Dec 15

Ya gotta love lawyers!

2 people like this

@pgntwo (22408)

• Derry, Northern Ireland

14 Dec 15

@ataboy Point respectfully taken.

2 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

14 Dec 15

HEY! Respectfully, I must ask everyone, who took my "point"...It was right here a minute ago!.....@pgntwo, you look awfully suspicious!

Hmmm...

2 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

13 Dec 15

I respectfully disagree!

2 people like this

Lenore Plassman

@sallypup (62601)

• Centralia, Washington

13 Dec 15

If a person is indeed that stupid or clueless then probably the person is incapable of reading and understanding the written words. Or maybe working into a sugar coma.

3 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

13 Dec 15

I believe evolution was a "gift" intended for those particular type of people! Just like people that ride motorcycles w/o helmets! You know...'organ donors!'

2 people like this

@pgntwo (22408)

• Derry, Northern Ireland

13 Dec 15

@ataboy The Darwin Award, given to an individual that has removed their genes from the gene pool by doing something dumb...

2 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

13 Dec 15

What a difficult job the judges must have, @pgntwo , you know!? But God bless them for trying!

(I don't believe that that's using the Lords name in vain, @sugartoes, I'm simply asking him to bless these individuals, no?

)

2 people like this

WorDazza

@WorDazza (15830)

• Manchester, England

16 Dec 15

As an aside, the 'repeat' instruction on shampoo bottles is completely unnecessary from a hair-washing perspective and is there purely to get you to use more of the stuff!!! Excellent post by the way!!

3 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

17 Dec 15

I don't believe that shampoo manufacturers would be that ignorant...what do I mean you must be wondering....ah ha! If they could get away with Wash. Rinse, Repeat. then why on the lovely God's green's earth would anyone stop there? Politeness?! What about Wash...Rinse. Repeat (100x).... Nah...they'd never be that immoral or unethical...Right?! Why not just say one or more bottles per head being shampooed?! LOL! (Thank you by the way! I DO sincerely appreciate your considerate comment!)

2 people like this

fishtiger58

@fishtiger58 (29820)

• Momence, Illinois

13 Dec 15

I have to take the paper off before I eat it?? Man thanks for the info.

4 people like this

Patsie Hatley

@Hatley (163773)

• Garden Grove, California

13 Dec 15

oh gee that wra pper really spoils the flavor Im h aving a lot of la ughs and giggles here so goodl

5 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

13 Dec 15

Well you don't have to @fishtiger58! If you think it's OK, then maybe you should leave it on! (Back to my point about the purpose of evolution.) Oh gosh...here come the lawyers, I can hear them now!

3 people like this

fishtiger58

@fishtiger58 (29820)

• Momence, Illinois

13 Dec 15

@ataboy Hope you win that lawsuit lol.

2 people like this

Marlina

@marlina (154129)

• Canada

14 Dec 15

Your funny half was good. The marketers sometimes do think that we are morons to believe their nonsense.

2 people like this

@DaddyEvil (140395)

• United States

17 Dec 15

@ataboy ATM, the half that was "talking"!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

18 Dec 15

Glad to know, @DaddyEvil! I'd hate to have to accept the knowledge that my funny-half was the lower-half of me...What's that feel like anyway? I've never had anyone laugh at the lower half of my body. Is it fun? Oh-how I wish I could just once get one single woman to laugh at that half! Please offer any discussion for the rest of us that you can detail - and as vividly as possibly please, DE!

@ataboy (737)

• United States

14 Dec 15

I'm lost...as usual...what's my" funny half"?!

1 person likes this

@DaddyEvil (140395)

• United States

17 Dec 15

If you have never tried the lather, set ablaze, repeat, then may I suggest you try it before denouncing it quite so thoroughly?! The instructions don't necessarily mean doing the lather, rinse, repeat to yourself, now do they?! It can be quite instructional to lather, set ablaze, repeat to someone/something else! All good scientific types KNOW the relative value of following all instructions to the letter but using a test subject first! It might be fun for you and it might not! THAT is one reason why we keep other people chained up in the hidden room under our homes! (If I have to explain some of the other reasons for keeping people chained up in that secret underground room, then you are sadly lacking in imagination and versatility!) I do hope you will consider all angles of the included instructions from this point forward!

2 people like this

@DaddyEvil (140395)

• United States

17 Dec 15

@ataboy

Oh, no, Mud! Their clothes are always right there! No need to hunt for them! I keep them in plain sight, nicely clean and hanging just out of their reach!

After all, what torture factor can you get if you hide their clothes from them? This way, they KNOW where the clothes hang, they just keep trying to get to them!... Crap! I mean, what can you learn when you hide something important to someone? It is much more instructional if they can see the object but can't get to it (to put it on, of course! LOL!) for whatever reason! *Yes, that sounds much better than the other! Nobody will suspect anything reading that comment!* (grinning again, sparkle back in DE's eyes!) Nice idea, btw! Maybe I can build a small pool of massage oil my people will mysteriously "fall" into, as well! Oh, yeah! Slippery, slippery!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

17 Dec 15

Actually, I had thought it was telling me to repeat the directions as I read them...so I always get lost in an infinite loop of reading them...So I'm still hoping that one day I can figure out the mystery of the shampoo bottle! And of course I know what the "guests" are kept in the basement for...They're just taking a long time to look for their mysteriously lost clothing! Give them a break, @DaddyEvil! Not like I sprayed them with that massage oil...they fell into a pool of it under their own volition! I'm one that likes to help others....So sue me! Geez!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

17 Dec 15

@DaddyEvil The "accidental oil bath" was a relic from WWII (for obvious reasons?!) but it came with the house and I can't get anyone to remove it. Oh and I had the plans on how to build it drawn up as blueprints too somehow, weird how the order kinda' got mixed up in the story, but be that as it may, I'll send you the requested copy of them. And yeah, that second version was VERY difficult to decipher! I would have been totally oblivious to the concept as you described it the second time around had my crystal ball not just been returned to me from the repair shop... so kudos right back at you DE...Funny how EvilDaddy rolls of the lips so pleasantly. I'm quite surprised you never took that direction! But if it ain't broke...Errr......Hmmm...well even if you are a little bit broke.....I'M not willing to fix you! So just carry on!

1 person likes this

MARILYN

@Marilynda1225 (83613)

• United States

14 Dec 15

It's quite funny when instructions come with something that needs no instructions.

2 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

14 Dec 15

Yup, and in 27+ different languages! That should go on my pet-peeve discussion! I usually tear-off all the other languages or use a black wide sharpie to redact the useless information to the tiny bit of readable info in the massive book most companies include!

I realize it saves them money, which is theoretically passed onto me....but I'd GLADLY PAY 20 cents more for whatever the damn thing is to read just my own language (and save 2-3 small trees in the process!)

1 person likes this

PaintsOnSlate

@PainsOnSlate (21852)

• Canada

4 Jan 16

I'm glad you explained the Gosh Darn part because I made that mistake on one of my very first posts. Just for a reminder I re-read the rules being so new and quickly changed a word in my title. I don't need any help in devouring a good candy bar but if it says to unwrap the bar it might be a good thing because then when some idiot get sick eating the packaging he can't sue...I'd be embarrassed if I ate the packaging. Too embarrassed to sue

1 person likes this

PaintsOnSlate

@PainsOnSlate (21852)

• Canada

5 Jan 16

@ataboy Now you've got me worried about my sky lights on my sun porch....just kidding!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

19 Jan 16

It was a true story too, about the skylight, @PainsOnSlate. I also just saw a guy on the news that got in a cab or something like that and suddenly started viciously attacking the driver for no known reason; strangling him and punching him hard from behind! So, now who's doing the suing? The attacker! Why, for audio/video recording the interior of the car without his permission!

...What wonderful people that co-habitat this giant sphere we live on!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

5 Jan 16

Well, when I'm in charge the lawsuits involving people doing stupid things and trying to sue would be numero uno on my list of things to instantly remove from existence! If someone needs a wrapper to tell you not to eat said plastic wrapper, then I think the world may be just a little bit better of if they just go ahead and eat it!

I understand what you're saying abut the embarrassment part, but for me it's more of a responsibility part. If I'm cutting down a tree in my backyard and I'm not competent enough to prevent it from falling on my neighbors fence and breaking it, then I pay for or fix the fence as good as new. No bickering or stalling, it's my actions that lead to what is now a pile of broken fencing fragments. What about a little bit of that stuff...you know, "responsibility", added to the equation! Someone want's to sue, sue someone that purposely caused you harm. That's fine!

It's like the burglar that falls in through the sunroof in someone's kitchen trying to break-in that then sues the person for his damaged back and punitive damages for his traumatic experience! Cry me a river, Mr./Ms.criminal!

1 person likes this

Patti G

@Pattitude (1287)

• Newton, North Carolina

15 Dec 15

I agree, I do not need a manual to learn more about a candy bar. I have not had a Snickers in a long time!

2 people like this

Patti G

@Pattitude (1287)

• Newton, North Carolina

18 Dec 15

@ataboy I experienced that! You don't see that in the smaller towns, but I went to visit NYC one year and went to Macy's and those perfume people were trying to accost me. I ran upstairs to Santa Claus, who was very cool, he looked just like you'd expect him to look, almost like the Coca Cola Santa!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

18 Dec 15

Did he embrace you and protect you like any sane old man would, @Pattitude? See you gotta' think these things through, Patti! I bet you made Santa's night that evening at least!

NC is probably my favorite state, so I envy you, Patti! How absolutely gorgeous it is up there! SMNP esp., so TN also!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

15 Dec 15

BUT...I feel that you could handle it like a pro Patti! Call it a gut feeling, since know you I do not! But I feel you need nobody to point anything out!

And here's another one...when those annoying people that spray you with cologne or perfume at department stores say that their product is 100% chemical free...I strongly suggest you question that statement! And if they really believe it is true...then RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RUN BEFORE!

Theoretically pure water....100% made of chemicals! Pure air...A mixture of chemicals! So unless they have an evacuated cylinder of potentially dangerously implosive vacuum in their bottles...which wouldn't even spray outwards by the way,...then they have 100% chemicals in their products! MORONS!

2 people like this

Lynn Proctor

@ThankyouLord (698)

• St. Petersburg, Florida

14 Dec 15

Like messages on brake fluid, "Do not drink" or plastic wrappers that say, "Remove before eating." You just gotta wonder.

2 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

14 Dec 15

Or for the illiterate, the bag's with images of a baby crawling with a plastic bag covering it's head completely, and a crying look on it's face, finally a circle with a diagonal line, which crosses it all out (like the "Ghostbusters symbol")! I have that one cut out and hanging on my nightstand! Maybe it's just incase I forget, and a baby wander by and I'm looking for somewhere to hang a plastic bag!

Hey Lynn, you and I live in the same town...I just realized it! Small world, eh!

1 person likes this

Bethie Annie

@BethieAnnie (818)

• Dayton, Ohio

19 Jan 16

But, but, but... do I eat it with the nuts facing up, or the nuts facing down? And which end is up?

1 person likes this

Bethie Annie

@BethieAnnie (818)

• Dayton, Ohio

19 Jan 16

@ataboy This whole snickers thing is starting to sound quite dangerous. With food though, I am pretty sure we are not supposed to read the labels. I they give us symbols, that is quite nice of them. The thing about reading labels is that food that was just perfectly healthy for you, suddenly becomes unhealthy for you. There is nothing worse than discovering a favorite food has High Fructose Corn Syrup in it.

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

22 Jan 16

@BethieAnnie Actually you're right, you know! (Well of course you do!) But if you don't read it, it may or may not have the anticipated qualities or ingredients. It may not even have any sugar at all in it if you refuse to read the label. This is just pure 'matter of fact', 'common-sense', 'rule of thumb', 'the way of the world', 'the way the cookie crumbles' (?)..I'm pretty sure. right?!

You could approach it from a medical-science point of view - ever heard of the placebo and nocebo effects?! A philosophical POV, like the question of whether a tree that falls in a vacant forest makes sound at all! Or then there's always the quantum theory approach, where the Snickers bar may both having sugar and not have sugar at the same time in a state of quantum superposition, which you will never know if you never observer the label! So I recommend shredding it after eating the Snickers bar!

1 person likes this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

19 Jan 16

How should I know...There must be a symbol that suggests one direction or the other, and is there a front or back? I know they have stooped to make them for the willingly illiterate as well as the ones that are unfortunate enough to be all but forced to be illiterate from various traumas and conditions, but in either case, how doe a like with a slightly spaced between another perpendicular line or two that have pointy things on them tell me about which way is supposed to be up? Do the pointy thing stick in the ground like steaks or balance on thin air and point up or are they even related to the directionality! I'm so torn apart over it! The need more symbols included to describe the meaning of the symbols too! and what do we do with the symbols when were finished with them? They don't have disposal protocols...do we eat them? seems likely I would imagine! *cough* *couch* *gag*...(last words...I was wrong don't eat...ting the sym...bol.....s...... *x's form over eyes*

1 person likes this

EugenesDIYDen

@EugenesDDen (310)

• Ireland

14 Dec 15

Cereal manufacturers are very helpful., like the way they show a "serving suggestion" on the box - A bowl with cereal and a spoon- now that's imaginative!

2 people like this

@ataboy (737)

• United States

15 Dec 15

LOL! Yeah it took me a while on that one! I'm slow I guess! It reminds me of Pop-Tarts...three part instructions....let's see if I can remember them now...it's been a while. I remember the first step was to open the wrapper (FULLY - which can relatively also mean to remove the Pop-Tart from the wrapper). Step two, I'm pretty sure involves a toaster, but that one's a bit hazy! I remember the third step completely though it was a single word instruction...."Enjoy!" Thanks, Kellogg's®! We all appreciate that condescending set of directions!

2 people like this

Jennifer

@LovingMyBabies (85285)

• Valdosta, Georgia

17 Dec 15

I thought it was pretty funny too! I don't think we need so many instructions...but the important instructions that would be great to have (parenting handbook) is nowhere to be found. What is this world coming to?

(I know there are actually parenting books and the Bible gives us instructions as well-not sure why my mother always said there is no handbook for parenting)?

1 person likes this