He Pushes My Buttons

@just4him (317316)
Green Bay, Wisconsin
December 13, 2015 1:37pm CST
I wasn't home from church long before my oldest showed up. He didn't have anywhere to go because all his friends weren't up yet. So he's watching TV and we get into an argument. A short while later, we get into another. By then he was leaving. At that point he said, "I've p----- you off. Goodbye." He wanted to make me angry. Up to that point I had held it together pretty well, even though I was angry. But when I raised my voice, it was like he had won. I could hear it in his voice as he left. I don't know why he felt he had to get me so angry this morning. I'm trying real hard not to get angry with him and let him know he is welcome here, and that I love him, but when he goes out of his way to get me to the point where I'm raising my voice, then he's happy. I just don't get it. I'm sitting here still rattled by this morning. I hope your day has been better.
16 people like this
17 responses
@yukimori (10148)
• United States
13 Dec 15
If he's not living with you, it might be time to put your foot down and not allow him to come and watch your TV like that. He might be your son, but that doesn't mean that you have to tolerate him deliberately pushing buttons like that.
4 people like this
@marlina (154130)
• Canada
13 Dec 15
I agree with Yuki totally. You have to put your foot down.
3 people like this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
I know I'm a doormat for my children. I have put my foot down a time or two in his life.
@celticeagle (168542)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Dec 15
Some people like to irritate. They seem to get ng out of it. Like they feel you care or something. Maybe his s elf esteem was down and he had to irritate so he knew that someone cared.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (168542)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Dec 15
@just4him ...And he needs to hear it I think.
2 people like this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
I'm sure you're right. He has had a lot of low esteem lately. I've had to tell him twice in the past week that I love him, no matter what.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
@celticeagle I'm sure he does.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 Dec 15
I'm sorry your morning went that way. I don't understand people who just like getting a rise out of others. I hope the rest of your day gets better.
3 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Dec 15
hi both of you perhaps in getting a rise out of you it helps lift his self esteem. I know this that having an argument with so meone you love is so painful
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Dec 15
@Hatley Yes it is.
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
It did.
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
13 Dec 15
I am sorry that you are upset he obviously knows you well enough to get under your skin. I think you need to give him a hug when he tries to get to you, that will throw hiim off. Tell him you love him and walk away.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
14 Dec 15
@just4him ohhh that is too bad, my oldest son is a hugabug. He is 6 feet 4 and gives the best bear hugs. My younger son is not too much of a hugger.
2 people like this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
@BelleStarr I almost need to force a hug on all of them, even my daughter. Now my grandchildren are huggers
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
That would throw him off, especially since none of my kids like me to hug them.
2 people like this
@paigea (36315)
• Canada
13 Dec 15
I can't imagine what he gets out of that. Take care.
3 people like this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
I don't either.
• United States
13 Dec 15
He probably has things bothering him that have nothing to do with you. That said, it is not an excuse. I agree with Susan. Demand respect in your hoe. *be well*
2 people like this
@yukimori (10148)
• United States
14 Dec 15
@just4him They don't have to be. It's possible to teach people how to treat you, but sometimes it means that we have to make things a bit uncomfortable in the process.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
He does, and I do demand respect in my home. However, demanding and getting are two different things.
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
@yukimori If he were younger that might be possible. He's in his 40s.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Dec 15
no my day has had me in tears twice now. First someone stole ten dollars out of m y handbag then my log book for bloodsugars anmd my whole kit plus my supplies disappeared from my bed then I found that they were taken beca use Im not supposed to have needles ie lancets in m y room. Now if they had come to me and explained all of that I would not have been upset but this way really scared me, Now I feel so alone here. what nexr?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Dec 15
@just4him nope and I do not know who stole it so I guess I willhave to have some way to hide it.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Dec 15
@Hatley It's so sad when we need to resort to those measures.
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Dec 15
That is terrible. I'm glad you found out about your blood sugar kit. Did you get the money back?
• United States
14 Dec 15
Alright,my mom sometimes did the same.I always go outside with angry but after calming down myself i came home normally and said"Mommy i'm back”then nothing happened
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Dec 15
@just4him Whatever,just remember,we are family!
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
You pushed her buttons? Or she pushed yours? I'm glad you went back and nothing happened.
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Dec 15
@fu763699431 That is the important thing.
@lokisdad (4226)
• United States
3 Jan 16
sorry to hear some kids just like to irk their parents on purpose like kids do. Our son likes to peave his little sister off and he doesn't quit until she yells sometimes. He says that sometimes he can't help it he finds it funny to hear her yelling upset. Like yesterday he purposely drank all her water and didn't refill her cup she can't reach the sink even on a chair. She said something to him and I could hear him haha I drank all your water Im not getting you more. She said you know what that was a really stupid thing to do and your mean. So for him being spiteful he had to go refill her water and got in trouble for a bit. Sorry you are going through that.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
3 Jan 16
That was a couple weeks ago. He's been decent since.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
13 Dec 15
sounds like some weird mental issue thing, honestly. gotta just try not to play his game
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Dec 15
@Jessicalynnt I think that ha ppens at t i mes to all of us.
2 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
14 Dec 15
@just4him oh I know, that urge to open the mouth and say something gets me in trouble ALL the time.
2 people like this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
Easier said than done.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 15
Don't know what causes your son to want to irritate you but hope you can enjoy your day and let it go
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Dec 15
@just4him Im glad some things went good for yo u m y own day has me wanting to move out of here.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
It was quite good today. I got a lot done here and the Packers won. Good day.
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Dec 15
@Hatley I can understand that with the missing money.
@PainsOnSlate (21852)
• Canada
15 Dec 15
I learned a long time ago that if my kid is an adult I never give advice unless its asked for. I keep the conversations smooth and I never ask a question I really don't want to know the answer two. They are a guest in my home they don't live here anymore...There is no time for anger... I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope in the future he understands you are the mom and he should act like an adult instead of a brat.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Dec 15
He's a lot like his grandfather, my dad. I don't know a time we didn't visit that he and Grandpa didn't get into an argument either over sports or politics. It was always Grandma who broke them up. Though Dad always had respect for his father even in arguing with him.
1 person likes this
@Elizaby (6902)
• Pensacola, Florida
13 Dec 15
The moment your son tries to start an argument remove yourself if it is possible from the area and then pray for God's guidance in how to handle the situation with love. It takes two to argue and with you removing yourself from the situation and coming back with a smile and doing something in love for him will throw water on the coals he is trying to fire up.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (10148)
• United States
14 Dec 15
I don't agree with saying that @just4him should remove herself from the area when it's her home, not his. In that case, he needs to be the one to leave.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
That is something I'm working on.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
@yukimori Leave the room, not the house.
1 person likes this
@marijuana (570)
• Tel Aviv, Israel
14 Dec 15
I don't get it either. How a son seem to have pleasure in making you really mad How old is he?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Dec 15
@just4him yes thats it hes found how to p ush your butto ns and I wopul refuse to play that game with him.
2 people like this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
He's 42, my oldest. I guess he's always been like that. It was when he left with satisfaction on his face and in his comment, that I knew it was all a game to him to see how far he could push me.
2 people like this
• Tel Aviv, Israel
14 Dec 15
@just4him oh! that made me speechless! I thought he was just a sulky teenager :( I am sorry about that.. Try to wear your sweet smiles all the time he is around so not to give him his twisted satisfaction.
1 person likes this
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
14 Dec 15
Well sorry he had to ruin your day and pick a fight with you. I hope he apologizes later on.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
He won't. Of that I'm certain.
@jstory07 (140093)
• Roseburg, Oregon
14 Dec 15
That is part of him and it will never change. It is something that you do not outgrew.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
He has been like that all his life. I never looked at it as something he would never outgrow.
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 Dec 15
My younger son is quite opinionated and occasionally pushes my buttons too. Some days the only thing he has going for himself is he is cute and I love him. He is away at college so he doesn't get to push my buttons like he used to. I still love that brat baby though.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317316)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Dec 15
Yep, I understand completely.