if a friend is in love with you will you stop being his friend if you dont love him back?

@vandana7 (100282)

• India

14 Dec 15

I do think that being constantly in touch with the person keeps hopes alive. In a way it is a test for our egos. When we know somebody who cares for us, we are constantly trying to be nice to the person or taking their side, or trying to be understanding, and that increases hopes which should not be there. Effectively, there comes a time when the friend falls down, which is not a nice thing to do to a friend.

1 person likes this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

katrine i would still be his friend. i would tell him that i didnt love him if that was the case even if that would hurt him. and i would keep being his friend and try to do things as normally as we could do. avoiding only to talk about other guys that i know that would sure hurt his feelings but other things wouldnt have to change.

Suranga Abeysekara

@hiru84 (942)

• Malaysia

14 Dec 15

@carexing25 it is might be right.

1 person likes this

Teep11

@Teep11 (7673)

• United States

14 Dec 15

Friends should love one another. We should all love one another. The friendship shouldn't dissolve butit can't go further if the person is in a relationship or marriage.

4 people like this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

@hiru84 if that happened you would just tell him that you are married and you can just be his friend. if he accepted that and didnt insist to become your lover then you could keep being his friend. but if he insisted in being more than friends then you would have to be away from him.

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

Teep11 if the person is in a relationship or married he can have friends but if the friend is in love with him he just needs to say that he is committed and can be only friends. if the person accepts it then the friendship can continue. if not, then it has to end

Suranga Abeysekara

@hiru84 (942)

• Malaysia

14 Dec 15

@Teep11 That 's true.If I have a love affair and then, my friend said he love me.There fore he want to marry with me and he can't understand me. what I do for it.

youless

@youless (112497)

• Guangzhou, China

14 Dec 15

This is a difficult question. Perhaps I will keep away from him for some time and then we can be friends again when his passion to me is gone.

3 people like this

Lee Ka

@kaka135 (14931)

• Malaysia

14 Dec 15

@sweetloveforeve I think it really depends on that person. There was once my classmate liked me, I was honest to him and he agreed to just be friends. After some time, he thought it's difficult to be my friend anymore and he thought it was more sufferring, so he prefered we do not be friends anymore and this would make him feel better. I could only respect his decision though I appreciated the friendship as well. Of course there are some guys that we can still be good friends.

1 person likes this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

i understand what you mean. but would be so hard for the person to be away from him. what i think you could do was keep being his friend but not be as much time as you used to be. but not stop seeing him. that could really hurt his feelings

1 person likes this

celticeagle

@celticeagle (166976)

• Boise, Idaho

14 Dec 15

Depends on the friendship. I think it would definitely change, but, doesn't have to stop.

2 people like this

celticeagle

@celticeagle (166976)

• Boise, Idaho

14 Dec 15

@vandana7 ...Yes, and have had positive relationships and are not broken.

1 person likes this

@vandana7 (100282)

• India

14 Dec 15

I agree to this. Some friends are mature enough. Others are not.

2 people like this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

@celticeagle i think it wont end but it will change yes

you are right. because we cant ignore that the guy has feelings for us. and we wont feel comfortable to talk about loving a guy or asking for advices because we know he will feel hurt. in that way the friendship will change.

LK2018

@Letranknight2015 (51964)

• Philippines

14 Dec 15

If I have a relationship i think it's best to stop seeing that person so that she can think about it. sometimes when your at distant with each other, they tend to wake up from that desire and tend to find some one else. mostly when your not expecting it. anyways, welcome back

3 people like this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

hi ry

i already came back since two weeks ago i think

im on vacations from work so i have a bit more of free time. anyway how have you been? yes i guess sometimes distance can help. it actually helped me to forget a guy that i liked in the past but i think people can remain friends even if one has feelings for the other. but for example, if i like a guy and he doesnt like me back, is normal that he avoids to talk to me about other girls because he knows that would hurt me. but we could talk about other things.

Wendy789

@Drosophila (16571)

• Ireland

14 Dec 15

Actually had this happen to me, we remained friends until he found the love of his life. And I just left them to it, she never liked me. xD I also was in love with my ex-best friend, as you can tell by the title.. I left him to it. Friends are not that hard to come by why insisting on complicate things.

3 people like this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

you were in love with your best friend? she liked other guy. but i mean why did she stop being friends with you? its true that is easy to find new friends, but good friends not really. its sad that you lost your friendship because you fell in love with her and she didnt feel the same way. hopefully you will meet a good girl soon

1 person likes this

Wendy789

@Drosophila (16571)

• Ireland

14 Dec 15

@sweetloveforeve my best friend was a man. :p I left him, because, I just can't be his friend without wanting more. It's not fair on anyone and just a bit of a silly situation.

dpk262006

@dpk262006 (58676)

• Delhi, India

14 Dec 15

One needs to draw a line between friends and lover, the problem is that the line is very thin, therefore, it gets difficult to draw the line. If one is not in love with his/her friend, s/he should not severe all relations with him/her but both the person could remain friends.

1 person likes this

dpk262006

@dpk262006 (58676)

• Delhi, India

15 Dec 15

@vandana7 - You see when two persons do not love each other, they will gradually drift apart. My point is - let the other person do it first, so that you do not feel guilty of withdrawing from him/her.

1 person likes this

@vandana7 (100282)

• India

14 Dec 15

I think that creates bitterness at times. It is better to gently ease out of that person's life, at least till that person finds somebody else.

1 person likes this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

i think you are right the person should remain friends. because we dont choose who we love and it can happen. mostly if is a boy and a girl and they do everything together is normal that with time one of them starts to have feelings for the other. and we cant just put that person away from our life.

1 person likes this

inertia4

@inertia4 (27960)

• United States

13 Dec 15

That would all depend on the person that is in love with you. If they can accept just being friends, then remain friends. If they can't well, cool it for awhile. Things might go back to normal.

1 person likes this

@vandana7 (100282)

• India

14 Dec 15

Yes, cooling is necessary. But usually, it is difficult to suppress that feeling ...oh he cares for me, how sweet, and every time he or she is near ..that thought surfaces and it becomes natural to behave nicely with the person, and that kindles hopes, which are eventually dashed, leading to bitterness.

1 person likes this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

inertia4 i think you are right. if the person accepts that we are only friends you can keep the friendship because the person is part of our life and we cant just put him away from it. my friends are important to me and i wouldnt want him to lose me because he fell for me. we dont choose things just happen. but yes if he insisted until the point of putting things in an awkward way i would give him some time away but wouldnt stop being his friend.

1 person likes this

inertia4

@inertia4 (27960)

• United States

14 Dec 15

@sweetloveforeve Right. There has to be a fine balance there. And if the person can accept just being friends, then everything will go smoothly.

kyrararen

@kyrararen (601)

• Indonesia

14 Dec 15

this is a bit absurd to me. I love all people I consider a friend. It's just what make special someone special is whom I am sexually attracted to. well, I believe that my friends love me too in a way. if they confess to me and I am not attracted to them in that way, I just say we can't be more than friends.

1 person likes this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

im talking about romantic love here. of course we love all our friends but what im saying here is love as more than a friend. i have friends that i see as friends only. we dont want a relationship with all our friends. there are different kinds of love. anyway if you didnt love your friend as more than a friend is good that you would tell him the truth about it.

1 person likes this

kyrararen

@kyrararen (601)

• Indonesia

15 Dec 15

@sweetloveforeve Oh.. I see. it makes the relationship awkward for awhile if he insists his feeling towards me. It won't change the friendship to become anywhere nearer than that. if I don't feel the same way about him, I won't bother, since I don't think it's right to start a romantic relationship with someone you have no lust with. lol

DhelDama

@delyaj30 (613)

• Quezon City, Philippines

15 Dec 15

if i dont love him back, i'll be honest to him

Anne Marie Guyer

@LeaPea2417 (37353)

• Toccoa, Georgia

18 Jan 16

I would still want to be friends with him.

Suranga Abeysekara

@hiru84 (942)

• Malaysia

14 Dec 15

why I keep distance of my friend?I can explained my status and keep our friendship forever.But he can't understand me I do that.

2 people like this

@sweetloveforeve (13120)

• Portugal

14 Dec 15

yes you could explain to me how you felt and keep being friends

thats what i would do. i wouldnt push away my friend because i didnt feel the same way. we could still be together. unless he decided that he needed some time away to forget me but i would wait until he is ready and keep our friendship.

1 person likes this

Mari Juana

@marijuana (570)

• Tel Aviv, Israel

14 Dec 15

That's tough to handle you know :) Not wanting to waste the friendship but I would have to be honest and tell him he cannot expect anything more than just friendship. Some men would keep their distance for a while until they got over the situation but there are some men who insist and kept begging you would end up being the one keeping the distance :D

1 person likes this