The great gun debate

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Three years have now passed since a young man bearing a rifle and two handguns shot up Sandy Hook Elementary School. In the days and weeks that followed this appalling incident there were loud, clear and inevitable calls for change. One month after the massacre President Obama enacted some largely symbolic executive orders and proposed a handful of congressional actions but drifts of flying pigs appear to have disrupted the possibility of any meaningful House discussions. One by one, the proposed changes were outvoted. It's been pretty much that way ever since. A few states have tightened their gun laws and several more have relaxed theirs, while the most ineffectual Congress in living memory has offered plenty of thoughts and prayers and enacted virtually nothing that might make one whit of difference. Ah, but some things have changed. The numbers have changed. Since Sandy Hook there have been 90,000 more deaths caused by firearms, the majority of which have been suicides. There has been an additional 1000 mass shootings in which four or more people have died. And almost six hundred kids under the age of 12 have been shot to death. That's equivalent to a Sandy Hook Massacre every five weeks since December 2012. It's all a bit depressing. Let's pretend, though, that something big and important had been organized in 2013, or '14 or '15 to tackle the gun death epidemic. Perhaps it would have gone something like this: "A bipartisan conference set up to discuss the pros and cons of gun ownership in America may cost taxpayers millions of dollars, leaked documents have revealed. Expenses to date include installing a too-hard-basket in every office and supplying each delegate with earplugs to be worn during contrary arguments. Mandatory tattoos of the Second Amendment are also costing taxpayers plenty, but according to a publicity officer, "The exact cost will depend on how many commas each delegate wants." The biggest expense by far, however, has come from removing all stairs and replacing them with ramps. As one delegate told us, "We find that the debate goes much better if we avoid taking any steps and just stick to slippery slopes instead."