A Minivan for Jesus?

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Many often fail in the attempt to convince wholeheartedly the answer to the popular question "what would Jesus do?". I have spent ample time reflecting on the fundamental teachings as I remember, and have logically concluded that Jesus would in fact drive a mini-van. He seemed to consistently stick with a function over form philosophy that the mini-van conveys. He would, in my belief, place a heavy regard to the versatility of leg room and cargo space that the unsightly vehicle possesses. Any perceived judgements that people may reserve for the aesthetics of the vehicle, would not garnish a modicum of concern, as practicality in everyday life would be a driving motivation in the purchase choice. I would suspect with a certain degree of assurance, the base model would be chosen, as a leather interior and the optional disney edition package with a two screen dvd would be detrimental in the case of the impromptu baptisms that he would surely encounter in his day to day. I also conclude with his core teaching that the reward for having an unwavering devotion is heaven, he saw a need to prepare today for the inevitable. This fully convinces me he would opt for a package that included a 65,000 mile power train warranty and bumper to bumper guarantee with approved financing.