Christmas Loss

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I hope everyone had a great Christmas. It was great for me, but when I got home there was a Facebook message from my ex-boyfriend's grandson. He had passed away. They found him on Christmas day and the coroner believes that he died on Wednesday. I was devastated by this. I was happy that we maintained a friendship and last year he asked if I wanted to get back together, I said no. Now I think, had I only moved back he would still be alive today. He had uncontrolled diabetes and he was found with his insulin pump detached. I think his sugar must have gotten very high that he disconnected it. But he also had a head injury, must have happened in the fall. I still loved him and I know he loved me, he was just a very difficult man to live with. The funeral is tomorrow and I am unable to attend. I had hoped they would have waited until I could get there. I was so desperate to get there that I put an ad in craigslist looking for a ride. But it is just as well, I would have probably fallen apart. I never dreamed I would be so upset over him, but then again I was sure I would always have him in my life. I wrote a poem that I hope they will allow my daughter to read. I'll put it in another post.