Fatherhood too comes to you Automatically
By theSids
@thesids (22180)
Bhubaneswar, India
December 29, 2015 1:41am CST
Hello all
On 14th Dec, when the nurse handed me our one-day old baby girl, I became a father. The joy, the feeling that I have to care for and all those things that neither me nor my wife believed I could, automatically got into me. To be honest, I have never ever felt anything like this when I held others' kids/babies. Now, I do understand better, what former Miss Universe - Ms. Sushmita Sen (my icon) said - Motherhood cannot be taught. It comes automatically to every mother. Fatherhood too cannot be taught, it is something that comes to you automatically.
The little one keeps us busy, engaged and even gets us sleepless nights for now, but we both are enjoying every moment of this. The new life that she has got for us, makes us feel more complete, more responsible.
What do you think - when I say - like motherhood, fatherhood too comes automatically and no one does ever need a training to become a Father or Mother?
Have a great day.
Sids.
On 14th Dec, when the nurse handed me our one-day old baby girl, I became a father. The joy, the feeling that I have to care for and all those things that neither me nor my wife believed I could, automatically got into me. To be honest, I have never ever felt anything like this when I held others' kids/babies. Now, I do understand better, what former Miss Universe - Ms. Sushmita Sen (my icon) said - Motherhood cannot be taught. It comes automatically to every mother. Fatherhood too cannot be taught, it is something that comes to you automatically.
The little one keeps us busy, engaged and even gets us sleepless nights for now, but we both are enjoying every moment of this. The new life that she has got for us, makes us feel more complete, more responsible.
What do you think - when I say - like motherhood, fatherhood too comes automatically and no one does ever need a training to become a Father or Mother?
Have a great day.
Sids.29 people like this
30 responses
@much2say (55912)
• Los Angeles, California
31 Dec 15
Wow @thesids , I had no idea a little was on the way. Congratulations to you and your family - and welcome to parentdom!
The love part comes oh so naturally, doesn't it? I loved how "romantic" the pregnancies felt with a little one growing inside - and the instant I saw my daughter and son for the very first time when they were born, it was love at first sight. How beautiful this love is, a feeling like no other, and like you said made us feel complete.
Raising a child is a challenge and an adventure. As there are so many variables, I don't know that anyone is ever fully prepared or "trained" to always do the right thing as a parent (but certainly we do everything in our power to do what we feel is best). I know I've read so many books and took some classes during my pregnancy (I had no prior experiences with babies), but even then it was a completely different experience to actually go through it all. I could write my own book 
Enjoy this precious time - it all goes so fast (I have always been told this - and they weren't kidding!). Mine are 10 and 6 now - but they will always be my babies!
5 people like this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
31 Dec 15
Yes, I like the saying "the children complete us"!
It's really a challenge and adventure. Yes, there are really so many variables. Every child is different, and every stage is different as well. My children are 6 and 3. I always feel how fast they grow, and now my elder son is going to be in grade 1 soon. I still remember when he was still in my womb, the first time I met him, etc.... It seems like this happened just yesterday.
3 people like this
@much2say (55912)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Jan 16
@kaka135 It's funny, it feels like yesterday, though at the same time it also feels like this all happened a long, long time ago. Back then I couldn't imagine their current age, and I now I can't imagine them as teens! It IS all going so fast!
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Dec 15
Thank you for your wishes dear @much2say.
All my life and especially since I fell ill and started staying at home, becoming a father seemed to be a scary thought. When she was pregnant, I would keep thinking if et all I will be able to do the things that dads normally do - take the kid to school, or even play with the kid. But that moment when she held on to my finger for the first time on 14th Dec, all of this seems so very easy and simple.
My wife often used to say that I will not even be able to attend to her or the baby when she would be in labor. But that day, I could do it all, and with ease and enthusiasm. I dont know if her views have changed or not, but definitely, that has helped me regain some of my confidence.
All my life and especially since I fell ill and started staying at home, becoming a father seemed to be a scary thought. When she was pregnant, I would keep thinking if et all I will be able to do the things that dads normally do - take the kid to school, or even play with the kid. But that moment when she held on to my finger for the first time on 14th Dec, all of this seems so very easy and simple.
My wife often used to say that I will not even be able to attend to her or the baby when she would be in labor. But that day, I could do it all, and with ease and enthusiasm. I dont know if her views have changed or not, but definitely, that has helped me regain some of my confidence.4 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Dec 15
Until I had held her the first time, I too was feeling that I will be a scared daddy. But that one moment changed everything. I feel really sad for those 25%. I wonder how one can be that way towards such lovely babies. When we were at the Hospital, we saw one baby was in the incubator (she was prematurely born in the 8th month) - and her parents had left the hospital - In case it was a case with us, I am certain, I would not leave the hospital. I would sit on the chairs outside (in the corridors or waiting lounge) until she was all okay and handed over to us.
5 people like this
@much2say (55912)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Jan 16
@thesids My cousin was apparently very scared. He did not want to hold his baby right when she was born - he was truly scared! 
But after that he did come around and become a good daddy - it just took him some time to realize that yes, he was now a father!
But after that he did come around and become a good daddy - it just took him some time to realize that yes, he was now a father!1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
12 Jan 16
@much2say That is exactly me. When the nurse asked me to hold her the first time, I was really scared to hold such a tiny fragile looking baby. She understood and handed it over to the mom. Later, after some hours, when the baby was crying and the mom was being examined, the nurse asked me to hold her again. I refused again, but this time she asked - Are you the father of this child. I said, yes. She replied - so why are you scared. You will always have to hold her, care for her and there has to be the first time. So fold your hands this way (she adjusts my hands to hold the baby) and then gives me the baby. The baby in return, looks at me for a moment. Then, the nurse brings my palm on top of the baby's chest and right then, she held my finger. That moment, all scare and fear simply disappeared or turned into the love and affection and care for her.
2 people like this
@kaka135 (14931)
• Malaysia
30 Dec 15
Congratulations! I can understand and agree with that. I just felt great to become a mother.
Though the mother instinct or father instinct is born within us, I believe there are much more to learn on the parenting journey. We will always learn along the way together with our little ones.
Enjoy your fatherhood, and enjoy the sleepless nights. You and your wife might be really tired, but whenever I have any challenges with my children, I remind myself with this "this too shall pass". The children will grow up very soon, and you will not wake up in the middle of the night to comfort her or feed her soon, she will not be crying so often soon, hence these are actually very precious times.
Though taking care of newborn baby and toddler is tiring, I always enjoy and miss those moments.
3 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Dec 15
I completely agree with you @kaka135. These moments are really a sort of treasure. One of my clients, who has become a close friend, also mentioned something very similar. He said that as kids would start growing and learning to live on their own, though your love and bonding will continue, but these moments of closeness would not be there. So cherish every moment of it.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (168171)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Dec 15
Congratulations! This has happened in our family too. My granddaughter had her little boy on November 19th. He is a strapping 8lb., 11.4 ounces. What a cutie and looks just like his papa.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (168171)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Dec 15
@kaka135 ...Are they the cutest? I love that picture.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
29 Dec 15
I think it is or was for me a great shock when my son was born I was overwhelmed and in terrible circumstance fighting to survive.
Congratulations to you and your wife on your new daughter..blessings.
2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Dec 15
@TiarasOceanView We both had no idea. The doctor whom we were consulting told us on 11th that the expected day is still now where before 25th and she had set up the next appointment for 16th Dec wherein she would have given us tips on what to get, what to do and all that stuff in case of the labor started. Our good luck that she is a good doctor and did respond to our phone call on 13th Dec morning at about 2:00 am. She asked us to get to the hospital early morning. But as things happened, we had to rush at 5:45 am and the baby was born at about 7:00 am.
The staff at the Hospital especially the nurses were very caring and understanding. They helped me through all the procedures and even gave me a list of things that I should have got.
The staff at the Hospital especially the nurses were very caring and understanding. They helped me through all the procedures and even gave me a list of things that I should have got.2 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70022)
• United States
30 Dec 15
@thesids It is so wonderful to hear that the hospital staff were so very caring and a lovely doctor along with it. It makes all the difference. Yes babies will come when they need to, not when time of staff dictates lolz
2 people like this
@vandana7 (100546)
• India
30 Dec 15
Yeah..I saw on facebook..congratulations once more. :) I don't know..I am neither mother nor father...but if there were a peril, I think I would die rather than let my neighbor's kids get hurt...that can't be motherhood or fatherhood. Just love for babies...only time there will be any compromise may be...if the choice is to save dad or them...I am not sure whom I would save...I think dad.
2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Dec 15
I completely understand you. Kids would always be the first choice to save. But when it comes to own blood, our immediate family is more important. So I do understand your views on saving dad despite the love for the neighbor's kids.
Thank you for your wishes
2 people like this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
31 Dec 15
@thesids pari (fairy) would be a great nickname (though it means priest in our language). what does sona mean?
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
8 Jan 16
I have yet to experience this moment, but I can't wait whenever the day comes. Congratulations on being a dad to your baby girl! 
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
8 Jan 16
@thesids Glad things are better! And, Hope you have a great New Years!
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
4 Jan 16
Yes, i automatically agree that motherhood and fatherhood comes automatically when we already have a child. My husband and i felt that way too and we became so closer to each other because of the baby .
Congratulations for being a father now .
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
14 Jan 16
@SIMPLYD I know. I am aware that you have been away and as you say, seldom here in the past days. As for me, I am mostly away from the computer. Just when her mom is caring for her or even she is sleeping, I pop in and have a peek. Evenings and night, I am still learning time management because she (baby) stays awake almost all night and wife does need some rest too. As of now, work has not yet fully resumed, but yesterday, I was online for about 5 hours at a stretch. Hope to manage time efficiently as I do need to work also.
Earlier, it (work) wasnt necessary as money was never a priority. I worked because I loved doing what I do. But today, I do need money too so that I can at least get my baby the things I want for her
Earlier, it (work) wasnt necessary as money was never a priority. I worked because I loved doing what I do. But today, I do need money too so that I can at least get my baby the things I want for her 1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
31 Dec 15
oh, i didn't know, but it's the best surprise to know about. congratulations! how is mom and grandma? we look forward to more posts about life with baby.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
31 Dec 15
Ah yes, I never had shared about the coming baby anywhere. I was a bit scared and also the superstitious beliefs of my wife and others in the family did not permit me to take any risks.
Mom is okay in health - it was a natural delivery, thanks to the lady doctor. Granny and Grandpa are over excited just because she is the first girl in the family. We are only two brothers and mommy always wanted a girl. Brother has a boy who is 11 now. So they have their prayers answered kind of feeling.
2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
2 Jan 16
@hereandthere I was scared because of the complications that could have happened. I am 42 and my wife is 40. Health-wise, I am ill, wife too has some issues and the kind of doctors I had experienced in the past during my illness, I had almost zero trust on them. So I was scared of the matters getting complicated. So I wanted to wait till all was okay and the baby was safer.
Our family is quite small - parents with two kids (me and my bro). Bro has a boy and I have a girl. As our grandparents (maternal) settled here way back in 1960s, most of our relatives (paternal and maternal) are at least 1200 kilometers away. Grandparents had two daughters and as of today, they do not see each other that often. So yes, it is a small family now.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45645)
• Philippines
2 Jan 16
@thesids it's understandable. it's like you don't want to hope/believe until it's has actually happened and you don't want to jinx it.
i didn't realize your family is quite small. i hope the cousins get along well.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
2 Jan 16
@Jessicalynnt Thanks. I try to get some of it whenever I can. But right now, it is my wife. She has a very busy schedule since 13th Dec. Initially, we took turns to care for the baby, but eventually we realized that there are a couple of things that I simply cannot do... feeding the new born is one big thing. Another is changing nappies - Initially, she (baby) had no issues, but since the past few days, she disagrees when I try changing them. If I dare continue, she starts crying out at the top of her voice. Wifey says, it is a girl thing! And I barely understand it at the moment.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
1 Jan 16
@thesids you too, I wish you some sleep!
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
10 Jan 16
congrats!! there's jest no truer love'n that'f a young'un. whilst ya may love 'em while their in the womb, it somehow deepens the instant ya lay eyes'n 'em. what a blessin' indeed!
i believe that fer those who're ready, it does come automatically. that instant bond with such a wee one. 'n then, sadly, there's those folks who prolly'd benefit ('s well's the young'uns) from some trainin'.
i'm doin' the happy dance yer y'all!
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
14 Jan 16
@crazyhorseladycx We are all kind of slow here at my place and tend to do things when it is almost quite late. Probably the doctor too was quite sure of her analysis and interpretations of the reports.
For the time clock, yes, at the moment, we are having difficulties coping with the babies clock. Baby sleeps most of the day and stays awake most of the night. The doctor said that it is normal and will take about 4 months for the baby to adjust and adapt to our clocks. Life is a little difficult for me at the moment because of this. I work mostly during nights, but now with her being awake, I have to care for her more. But I also do not want to ignore my work as I have very little of it and I need it so that I can buy her stuff that I always would want for her. I am still learning Time Management but it seems to fall flat with her around. Not that I am complaining, but I have to learn it better and sooner
You are so very right. Time flies. And quite before we would realize, she would be off to school and other things would follow.
You are so very right. Time flies. And quite before we would realize, she would be off to school and other things would follow.1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
12 Jan 16
Thank you for your warm wishes and the happy dance here and on the other discussion of yours
We had visited the doctors on 11th and had asked her, what things are needed to be brought in when wife gets to the hospital. The doctor said, there was no need to worry as it was too early and the baby will not come before 25th. And the next appointment was scheduled for 16th. But then, on 12th night the pains started. As it was our first time, neither of us had any idea. We called up the doctor at around midnight and she told us to relax and try to grab some sleep. But early morning, at about 5:30 we realized that the pain would not subside and I called up dad to get to the hospital. Though we went unprepared, I am glad that the people at the hospital took good care and things were smooth.
And tomorrow, she will be one month old time really flies as I feel it was only yesterday that we went to the hospital
We had visited the doctors on 11th and had asked her, what things are needed to be brought in when wife gets to the hospital. The doctor said, there was no need to worry as it was too early and the baby will not come before 25th. And the next appointment was scheduled for 16th. But then, on 12th night the pains started. As it was our first time, neither of us had any idea. We called up the doctor at around midnight and she told us to relax and try to grab some sleep. But early morning, at about 5:30 we realized that the pain would not subside and I called up dad to get to the hospital. Though we went unprepared, I am glad that the people at the hospital took good care and things were smooth.
And tomorrow, she will be one month old time really flies as I feel it was only yesterday that we went to the hospital1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39509)
• United States
13 Jan 16
@thesids yer welcome! kinda odd they'd not given y'all better prep info? babies'f their own 'clocks' 'n purty much get here when they're ready. one month already?? mercy, yepperz the time flies by so quickly. cherish each'n e'ery moment coz soon, yer gonna be sendin' her off to university 'n then walkin 'her down the aisle. such seems to come'n the blink'f an eye!
1 person likes this
@marguicha (223720)
• Chile
11 Feb 16
Congratulations! I am so glad so read from you and specially this post with such good news. I hope that your health gets better. I am sure that our body responds when there is a great need.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
11 Feb 16
Thanks marguicha for your wishes and blessings. At the moment, illness is creeping back because of the new fatherhood. as she is our first baby, our inexperiences are tasking on our healths. We both are above 40 and that makes things a little complicated. But at the end of the day, when we see the sparkle in her (baby's) eyes or even her smile, all these things seem to be un-meaningful.
@Marilynda1225 (83074)
• United States
12 Jan 16
Congratulations on your new little baby
1 person likes this
