How We Answer People Really Counts On MyLot
By Ann LeFlore
@poehere (15123)
French Polynesia
December 29, 2015 1:34pm CST
Have you ever responded to a discussion and the person gave you back a very rude comment. I know this has happened a few times to me. Not often does this happen, but now and then it will happen.
After receiving a rude response back from the author of the discussion I feel like I have wasted my time. Furthermore, it makes me not want to leave another comment on one of their discussions. Plus, after reading a rude response it makes me closet the post and never go back again. I don’t feel like I need to be rude and comment back. I know at times I want to but here it isn’t professional to allow your anger to influence your comments. How do you feel about this?
So next time you write a comment to a person consider the person and their feelings. They came to your discussion and left you a nice comment. There is no need to be rude to them when you answer back.
Here the site is centered on interactions and how we interact with each other. The kinder you are, the nicer you answer back, the more friends you’ll make here on the site.
So everyone here is a positive word of advice. When commenting and responding on discussions please try to be kind and give a positive response to the person. I’m not saying a positive response can always be given but try to stay away from being rude.
Follow the old saying that one of my grandma’s use to say to me. You attract more bees with sugar than you do with vinegar. You will win a lot more friends here on the site and people will be happy to leave you a comment on one of your discussions.
Image source - personal image
43 people like this
45 responses
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
29 Dec 15
If I don't like what someone says to me in a comment I either deal with it or ignore them from then on out. when you put stuff out there in any format for the public to read you have to expect some not so nice comments, it happens. Life is too short to worry about every little detail. I worry abut the things that I can change. I can't change others.
7 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
29 Dec 15
@poehere I understand what you are saying, but I also believe it's the problem of those people and I don't care to waste time worrying about them or how they do things.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
29 Dec 15
You're right life if too short. I was just giving some friendly advice to people to consider how they interact. Here it's important to try and not be rude to others. Once a person is like this nobody wants to deal with them again. I know I don't.
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
29 Dec 15
@tallawah You are so right...and also some people (me included at times) use a dry sense of humor that could be misconstrued as negative comments.
3 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
29 Dec 15
Yes and we should all try and follow this on the site. It is a fantastic site and no need to be rude to others. You gain a lot more friends when you're nice.
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
30 Dec 15
Yes now and then we will see something rude. Everyone experiences this I think but don't you think it is funny and human nature to notice and make note of rudeness when rude comments are certainly not the majority. I wonder if it would be inaccurate to say that 1 out of a 100 might be shady and rude is very uncommon in those.
Yet we seem to pay attention and make note of a rude comment more than all the good, encouraging and friendly comments we do get as well.
I think it is good for people to think about their comments more and to think about being reasonable rather than rude. The question is will rudeness always be around?
2 people like this
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
30 Dec 15
@poehere Not sure which post you mean. Can you show me or?
The opposite is true? Find a post where a lot of people leave comments, some being quite good but the author doesn't respond back, not even with a like. Get involved, appreciate the comments given and interact on the post even though it is not our post?
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@Bluedoll I blocked this person and when I did this it deleted all of his rude comments. It was on my post. There was a string of them on there and he stopped. But then came back again and started to add more. The first one I opened said reported and used the yellow face with tongue sticking out. Then I got mad and I blocked this person. I had enough.
Yes I saw one or two discussion from a person who attracted a lot of comments. I know there was at least 30+ and not a single response back to any of them. Now go figure. But what seemed a little strange to me was I had seen this person interact on a lot of posts here and leave a lot of comments. Wonder why they didn't take the time to answer back their own discussion.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
Good points you make here. Normally I don't pay much attention to them if there is one here or one there. But when a person comes around and leaves 12 comments on one post to each person who comments and all of his comments are totally rude then I pay attention to this one. This is what got me on this one lately because a person seems to target a few posts and when he does he loves to go around and leave tons of remarks. This is just one example but I have seen other ones too on certain posts that I really didn't feel they deserved the comments that were left to them. but like you said this is my way of seeing it and how I felt. I did feel bad for the person to get a few sharp or rude comments.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@tallawah Yes there is some ways of saying stuff that is fine. But rude is telling a person other stuff like a few comments I have seen on here. Each person has a way of talking and you can see it in their tone and the way they write. This is acceptable and understandable because of language and the way a person sees or speaks the English language. I know i could think I am polite but I come across rude or bossy when I write a few things. But this is how I see the language too and I don't think it is that way. But when people start throwing stuff at each other and telling them how depressing they are and different stuff like this nobody wants to interact with them again because this person is always on the attack.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
30 Dec 15
@poehere I have seen rude and blunt comments made here that were unnecessary. Yes, we should all be kind and polite.
@TheHorse (218548)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Dec 15
I don't think I've ever received rude comments. There was a weird lady on Bubblews who used to bite anyone's head off when they didn't agree with her completely about something. Anyone remember her? But I haven't experienced it here.
3 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
I have a few times but not too many. I just had one person write a lot of very rude comments on a discussion of mine and I didn't answer him back. In the end he kept leaving them and finally I ended up blocking him. Now it is nice and quiet for me and no more rude comments left behind. Not a really good way to win friends on the site if you ask me on this one.
@Shiva49 (26665)
• Singapore
30 Dec 15
I have had this experience in other sites I had been active in. Sometimes, they do not read properly and understand, and respond without relevance to our point of view. When we have nothing positive to say, we can still be polite with our reply while disagreeing - siva
2 people like this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@Shiva49 There are some people who can take something nice said and turn it around and make it sound so evil or bad. One time I did say why do people play these games? Well that was wrong for one person and he went on a rant over the word game. From there it turned into him, author, and one or two other people getting into this one. I backed out and left and refused to go back there again. I see what you mean and how things can get totally twisted around or how a person can do this to start to fight with others.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26665)
• Singapore
30 Dec 15
@poehere I recall a comment I had made and it was given a negative twist by one, and then the author of the post latched on to it and wondered why should people behave in such a way, meaning me, Then I requested her to please read my comments again and she was gracious to apologize to me - she had over forty million page views at Associated Content/YCN before it closed shop! siva
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
29 Dec 15
I always taught my children that if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I too live by this motto. Nobody can see you roll your eyes after you read something. LOL.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
30 Dec 15
You are very right being rude does not help on this site. If one is rude, other users will not comment on his/her posts. If someone respond to my post and even if s/he posts a irrelevant response, I make appropriate comments on his response, there is no question of being rude to him.
If I find that the user who started the post has adversely commented on my response, I would refrain from responding to his post in future.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
30 Dec 15
@poehere - If he was rude with you, he does not deserve to be on this site. You did the right thing by blocking him.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@dpk262006 Yes I know I did. I had seen him take a few other comments and twist them around to start a fight and make it sound like the person who left the comment was rude or even stupid. I didn't like that one too much and think it is not necessary to do that here to people.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
No it was you and I have never had many issues. I saw some from other discussions and had one on mine. But in all a misunderstanding can always happen when we don't all speak the same language and people need to translate in their head so they can write it down here in English
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@vandana7 Yes this one is so right. Plus here for me at times I hear Tahitian or French music in the background. I hear people speaking French or I hear a TV playing a show in French. So all of this interferes with us translating in our head to write it all in English. I have gone back and read a few of my comments and wondered what I had said or why I had written it that way.
2 people like this
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
30 Dec 15
I understand your point of view but it could be due to language barrier - we may think the person is responding rudely, but they really do not mean so.
I actually came across a language barrier (not on myLot) but in person with a friend I met. She was expressing that I was "fatter" than her friends and although I may be chubby, I didn't feel the need that she had to express that to me. I ignored her for awhile because everything she said was quite rude. After a while, I was annoyed and told her straight out. She reassured me that wasn't her intention to make me mad. She was converting her language to English and it sounded "rude" but really wasn't and apologized. So I hope no one is giving you a hard time, and if so - just ignore it. 
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
Happened a few time and the last time I got mad at the person. I kept ignoring it and I keep getting more comments. Finally had to block them so they would leave me alone. No need to have to do this just be nice.
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
29 Dec 15
I suspect that many responses may not be as rude as we hear them. When there is not real voice we don't hear inflection and sometimes I re-read something several times to try to really get what they are saying. But if I was ever rude, it wasn't intentional.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61102)
• United States
30 Dec 15
@poehere Yes I agree and I am not quite sure why anyone feels the need to do that .
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
Yes hearing and writing have a different tone. Only then can we really determine if the person is rude or not by the way they address us and speak to us. But when a person centers on one or two words in a comment and start ragging on them and turning around - now that one is rude.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@BelleStarr This is the rudeness I am talking about. it has nothing to do with tone or voice it has to do with picking comments apart and turning them around on people. Now this one is uncalled for and doesn't need to happen.
1 person likes this
@chocolatenightingale (147)
• India
30 Dec 15
ya your right @poehere.Even i believe in that saying.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (19272)
• Philippines
12 Jan 16
It is a common thing among sites like these where we could not always please all people, so they tend to give negative comments. When they do so, our tendency is to ignore or block them. Being friendly is the best so we can have more friends.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
12 Jan 16
Yes you are right on this one. I don't block anyone. I also don't try to leave a negative comment on anyone's discussion. I like to be more helpful than that.
@Angelee_27 (3460)
• United States
29 Dec 15
I try to be as nice as possible whenever I respond or comment. This is a friendly community after-all.
I think a lot of time though, the text that we read from others can be misunderstood as rude when it was not intended that way. It's hard to read emotions through written text sometimes.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
You are right about a lot of this. A few of them is no mistaking they are rude. These are hard to pass by when they leave you 10 or more of the same comments all over a discussion. Then it is hard to over look it and move on.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
30 Dec 15
I have gotten a few rude responses in the past but I try to look past them the best I can. We never know when someone has had a bad day. I try to respond in a nice manner to everyone here.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
30 Dec 15
@poehere Oh yes I have had one of those and I had to block the person because they were attacking everything I wrote here at one time! It was bad.
I thought you were saying just one rude comment but I know what you mean now.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@LovingMyBabies I think this might be the same person. I felt like I was being stocked. but here and there we do also get some rude comments. But nothing like the one I saw on more than one post here lately where a person seems to center on one person in the comments and attacks all their comments back. Now this is plain rude and doesn't need to happen at all.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
One rude comment is not hard to overlook. But when a person keeps leaving tons of them on other comments this one is sort of hard to over look. You know when it could be rude and when it is really rude there is a major difference on this one.
1 person likes this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
30 Dec 15
I haven't had a rude response since I created my second account, but on my first one, there was this guy who was extremely rude. Unfortunately, back then we couldn't block people or delete comments ourselves, so I had to contact the admin.
The topic was on dogs, he thought I was cruel that my dogs were on a dog run. A dog run is where a dog is attached to a lead that is attached to a cable and the dog can run the length of the cable. In my case is the back door to the back of my yard, which is the longest part of my yard.
Needless to say, anytime I created a post about my dogs, I tensed up when I would see he commented. I think he might be gone now because I haven't seen him around.
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
31 Dec 15
@poehere Wait, you know who I am talking about? All I remember is the word "urban" was in his username, is that who you are thinking of?
Let me tell you, a dog run is wonderful for active dogs, but even these can't keep a dog from escaping. Let me introduce you to Ciara, a.k.a. Houdini. Unlike her sister, her head is similar in size to her neck which means she can easily slip out of a regular collar, and I don't like the use of choke chains other than for training. So I got her a harness, but guess what? If it isn't tight enough, she can get out of that too. I don't know how, and she doesn't escape often as she has gotten older, but when she does, it still leaves the whole family scratching their heads on how she got away. 
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
Yes I know who you are talking about. I wished I had a dog run for one of my dog Nita he is young, full of energy, and use to escape the yard all the time. Lately he has settled down and I don't have any issues with him anymore. Before I would have to attach him to a rope and keep him attached. He could even get off this rope and escape my yard. So I got wise to him and ran the rope under his belly and through his collar before I attached it. I felt mean to always have him on this rope but he would not behave.
I started little by little to get him off it during the day. When he got bad again and escaped he had to go back on it. Now he is good and no longer escapes. He waits for us to tell him he can leave the yard now and go with us places. But times it is necessary to do this if you don't have a closed in yard or there is a way for the dogs to get out. I don't find this mean or cruel because they get a lot of exercise this way.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
31 Dec 15
@Carmelanirel2 Sounds like Nita and how he gets out. We couldn't figure out how he got out of the yard the last time. We had to go and hide to see him escape. He found some tiny hole on the deck that sits over the river. He would squeeze through this and jump into the river and run up the other side. He still is our great escape dog and a lot of times nobody knows how he can do this one either. I know Nita head and neck are like your dogs so he can easily slip out of any collar you put on him. No need to put one on ti will be off in a few min.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
30 Dec 15
Lol ah well, I've had my moments, not on here, but sure with people. ah well.. Wrath is my temptation. xD
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
30 Dec 15
@poehere ya those are trolls.. best to ignore them. btw, I don't even remember that comment you made lol!!
I mean, I've had my moments being rude to people. But ah well, it was what it was.. aint much I can do about it now.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
Yes I think one time I said something really stupid to you about winning a no test day certificate. I said something about you should be studying and not on here. I sure felt bad on this one and then look back and say maybe you thought I was so rude when I left you this comment. I know difference in language can do t his and at times giving advice can do this. But when a person takes a single word you wrote and turns it around on you and come back at you on this one then you know for sure it was rude and directed at you. They wanted you to know they were rude and did not try and hide it at all.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@Drosophila I don't think it was basically rude. I just remember saying nice you got your no test day and was saying that studying was better or something stupid. But anyhow it wasn't rude because we are still good friends and have a lot of laugh together.
1 person likes this
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
30 Dec 15
The quote is very true and the people behind it are very special in our hearts and we remember theses quotes through life this and others are specially written.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
1 Jan 16
@softbabe44 Thank you so much. I am fine with her passing it is just times you think of something and they come to mind. He has been gone since 1996.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
You are so right. Grandma's have a way of saying things that sick with you for life. They always have a unique and special way of making you see things too. I do miss her and all the talks we had daily on the phone. I was always far away and didn't mind the large phone bill to call her and talk daily. Wished she was still here but I know there comes a time when we all leave and won't be back again.
1 person likes this
@saurabhrmp (2283)
• Hyderabad, India
30 Dec 15
I think yes it matters, how you interact with members is the main point in getting money.
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
I do too that is why I am offering friendly advice on this one so people will think before they comment. I have seen some rude comments that might of been avoided. We need each other to make money on the site and if you are rude to one another you'll loose all your friends and nobody will come to your discussion any more.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15123)
• French Polynesia
30 Dec 15
@saurabhrmp Thank you and I hope the few incidents around here lately will stop soon.
1 person likes this
@saurabhrmp (2283)
• Hyderabad, India
30 Dec 15
@poehere completely agree with you. We should not be rude to anyone and be friendly to everyone.
1 person likes this
