Technology Ruins the Family

It is very difficult to hold out against continual badgering about more time or whatever.

@JudyEv yep. i hate the constant battle!

it is so hard. i know raising kids has probably always been hard. but technology just puts a whole new level of hard!

@nanette64 yes, i think sometimes people rely on these gadgets too much

i guess that is the ONE thing i have been doing right (maybe) in that i have rarely given my littlest the phone or a kindle or whatever to keep her quiet in public. believe me, she can be a terror at times, but i've never used that handicap with her. i guess i shouldn't say "never".... in dire situations.... i remember when we went on vacation, we had been driving and driving all day. we finally arrived and my husband's family wanted to walk to the restaurant for dinner. we walked and walked and walked which felt good at first after being in the van all day. but it took forever to reach the restaurant and my 4 year old was hungry and tired. it was about 9pm by the time we reached this not-kid-friendly restaurant. anyway, we downloaded the netflix app on the phone & let her watch something while we were there. it was a total treat. so that made it perfect for this occasion.

@jillybean1222 I can see where in this situation what you did would apply. If you guys were tired, I can picture her being wiped out.

yes, even when i go to dinner with friends, we tend to look at our phones

@jillybean1222 Did you tell him your concern about having too many gadgets or "technology" time is affecting your family bonding time? What did he respond? (Perhaps a teenager just doesn't care about this yet?) My young children asked me why they can't watch TV as other kids do. I told them the reasons, and also told them we do a lot of things that other kids do not do as well (which my kids enjoy doing). Perhaps they are still very young, they understand and accept this.

yes, it's funny (not really) how much the complaining has increased with each new gadget he gets. Seriously changed our family so much. yet we can't really go back to without.

@jillybean1222 Sometimes with kids the more they get the more they want. It certainly doesn't help if they have a friend who gets everything.

@jillybean1222 That is what my son told my grandson that if he wants something he will have to work for it. He has and he was able to buy the iPhone 5s and since his contract is up this coming June, he will buy another IPhone. He is very responsible and he saves up for anything he wants. Where he goes to school they have a garden and also raise chickens. He gets paid for working in the garden and taking care of the chickens. He si able to pay his own tuition and have money left over. I am verty rpuld of him as he as turned otu to be a fine gentleman at the age of 16.

we do limit stuff a little more than some folks. the only reason my son was given a phone, was that he got my hand-me-down when i needed a new one. so it's on the "old" side of phones. he's been asking me to buy him an iPhone & i am telling him NO WAY. i've told him that he will have to buy his next phone. he has a very, very part-time job. so he can save up for it.

@jillybean1222 I know I am dreading it as they get older because I know whats coming. I am glad their Home Schooled as well because at least some things they don't hear or see about from other kids.

yes, you are only at the beginning! when mine were that little, we didn't have any "gadgets." Just my one laptop (which i wasn't nice enough to let them use) and at that point, no smart-phone. my second born is now 14 & it is a constant battle.

@jillybean1222 I get that too Jilly yes it would have been a savior at the time.

thanks. so much in our family has changed because of losing my oldest son & the timing of the technology was the same as that... so i think sometimes it was just a crutch to help Liam get over losing Nolan....

the only one in my family who is sort of "good" about it is my husband, but even he likes to go on his smartphone and read news articles

yes, i've seen that! funny, but sad too! :-) I know i'm not the only one struggling to find boundaries. I know some people who just throw in the towel and let them have as much tech as they want. i don't want to do that!

Yes, if we get out it is best. We are currently in our low-activity period. And now i'm regretting letting my son skip scouts last night!

@jillybean1222 Next week is coming!

yes, it has become a necessity. and i am on my phone too much. i hate it.

@jillybean1222 maybe you should go on a holiday, out in the wilderness, and make it a no phones camp :P one of you could just keep a phone in case for emergency, and spend a few days trekking, ziplining, etc

right. and that is the other side of the coin. there are definite advantages to technology! so when you failed at school, do you mean high school or college? i like being able to give my kids concrete examples of what can happen. it's like they don't believe me. when

@jillybean1222 I might be wrong but I think the educational system is slightly different to the British one, I think your college is the same level as our University? Our college is 2 years between high school and college. So I would say I failed at high school but just about scraped my way into college, I dropped out after the first year as my grades would never be good enough for me to get into University, even some of the bad ones. I worked in retail and jumped from job to job, I moved out when I was 18 to live with my stoner boyfriend. We split up and I moved in with another guy at the age of 19 because I had to leave the town I was living in, I'd caused a bit if trouble. I landed a job and didn't plan to stay there long, luck and other peoples selfishness meant I got a promotion within 4 weeks of being there. I split up with that guy and had to move out on my own, I was in a horrible shared house because I couldn't afford anything better. I had to move out when after 1 of the house mates had a party which sparked an argument with another house mate and her partner, a knife was pulled and I was out. I moved into somewhere I could barely afford and as a result had to make £10 a month stretch for food. After many childish years I finally grew up and my mentor there gave me an option, progress or stay where I was. The light finally went on at the age of 25 and I have fought and worked and studied myself into the ground, but I am getting there. This is probably an extreme case and I am not proud of my past, if I could go back and change things I would in a heart beat. My boss is the same age as me, he has an amazing family and earns a crazy amount of money...all because he figured out what we wanted earlier in life and put in all the hard work. He is what I wanted to be and I have to work 10times as hard to try and get there because I wasted my time. I have am trying to explain this to my 16yr old brother who is going down the same path as me and has just thrown away his chance of playing rugby for his country, but he wont listen. Sometimes you just have to let them get on with it or risk pushing them away by taking control. I am not a parent and I am not sure what I would say to 15yr old self to try that would have made listen

i wish my son could read this and realize.... but they never seem to learn from words

i really think it did. most of my battles involve technology related stuff. i know parenting has always been a big, tough job, but yes, nowadays i think it is harder.

yep, a more simple time for sure! i do too

yes. as a parent in the middle of it, i'm just trying to find that happy medium that works for us.

i remember when it was optional to have internet & stuff.... but now, i do everything online

yes, now he has friends who he can "game" with online... sigh. more STUFF