A Recipe For Disaster

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A Recipe For Disaster Here is everything you need to turn a natural major earthquake into an apocalypse INGREDIENTS 1/. An Earthquake fault-line 2/. Emergency Service cutbacks 3/. Inadequate warning systems 4/. Poor provision for evacuation 5/. A Fracking industry 6/. Poor people 7/. Indifferent Insurance companies 8/. Politicians unable to help aid workers 9/. Landfill PRE-COOKING Find an area with a history and reputation for major earthquakes and build a city on it. The San Francisco model around the San Andreas fault line is a classic example. Be sure the weakest building materials are used on the loosest soil areas. Landfill zones are particularly good for this. The landfill is often just loose compacted rubbish and detritus that an earthquake liquefies quickly, so buildings and people on it are swallowed by instant quicksand at the height of the quake. You'll have more fatalities here than in any other part of your city. Make sure that anyone asking about earthquake proof buildings sees only the wealthy houses with extra steel rods in the concrete and stone. Don't show them the flimsy structures or houses on stilts or properties in your landfill districts. Move your poor people, ethnic minorities, and the general dispossessed into these landfill property zones. Ensure insurance workers add clauses against payments in the case of acts of God. Agitate the earthquake tectonic plates with investments in the fracking for gas industry - give nature a shove and stir once in a while to speed up a disaster that might not have happened so soon otherwise. Ignore anyone pointing out the dangers or warning of consequences. Don't invest good fracking money in early quake detection science or evacuation and rescue services. Let nature take its course. Don't overdo the hospital, fire-brigade or ambulance services -make a few more of them redundant, and have others only offer to treat high fee paying patients. Don't practice for the day the real thing happens. THE EARTHQUAKE This is usually a very quick event, and there's not much you can do other than ideally being as far away from the cooker as possible when it happens. AFTERMATH AND SERVINGS Assess the real scale of damage, which you will dumb down when you are blamed and exaggerate when seeking aid, and blame God or Mother Nature. If the media says the rescue services are under-resourced blame the danger of more aftershocks for their limited rescue progress. Point out how lucky the rich people were not to have as much damage to their lovely homes. If international aid comes in, be sure it goes through a central government administration committee who can claim some of it as their own in expenses and compensation for their time and effort in such a time of stress and distress. Use the media to point out that the occasional child found alive up to two weeks after the disaster is a holy miracle. This will help to stop God losing support for killing 3,000 other people, and leaving 20,000 homeless. Finally, learn nothing from any of this and start rebuilding for a bigger disaster next time round. Arthur Chappell