it&#39;s normal to have arguments over money?

@kevin1877uk (36988)

•

14 Jan 16

Thats how it should be.

3 people like this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

I like to work and I wouldn't expect him to provide me with anything. but I wouldn't like it either to be the one who supports the house

3 people like this

Jennifer

@LovingMyBabies (85288)

• Valdosta, Georgia

15 Jan 16

@swissheart I always stayed home with our children, and took care of the house, and babysat. My husband has always felt what I do is work too.

1 person likes this

@kevin1877uk (36988)

•

14 Jan 16

You need to know what he is doing with is money and can't expect you to pay for things now you've moved into together. Maybe worth looking at all the monthly outing, seeing what money you need to pay. From that you could do 50% each then that way what left he can do what he wants. The out goings/bills and so on will be covered and you won't paying for everything.

3 people like this

vanny

@vandana7 (100297)

• India

14 Jan 16

You all are so different from folks this end. :) Here, home makers don't contribute, and generally women who earn do not have much say on how their earnings are spent.

3 people like this

vanny

@vandana7 (100297)

• India

14 Jan 16

@kevin1877uk ..true.

2 people like this

@kevin1877uk (36988)

•

14 Jan 16

@vandana7 Western's lol, it's fair if both are working.

2 people like this

Dominique

@dodo19 (47317)

• Beaconsfield, Quebec

15 Jan 16

He should be helping you with the expenses. As much as my husband and I may disagree a little sometimes, we both share the responsibility of paying bills and such. What helps is that we consider it our money. Yes, he's the one working, while I stay at home, but it's still our money. It's our responsibility to take of things, not just his or mine.

1 person likes this

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Dominique

@dodo19 (47317)

• Beaconsfield, Quebec

15 Jan 16

@swissheart my husband and I don't have a joint account. We each have our own accounts.. You are entitled to your account. I guess my point is that the responsibility shouldn't just fall on you or him. Especially since you guys are living together. You are entitled to the money you earn, but he can't expect you to pay for everything.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

@dodo19 that is exactly my point

2 people like this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

I would never agree to make a join account. my money is mine and I'm the one working for them

2 people like this

Wendy789

@Drosophila (16571)

• Ireland

14 Jan 16

He should pay for his share of the living expenses.

2 people like this

@kevin1877uk (36988)

•

14 Jan 16

Totally agreed there.

2 people like this

@kevin1877uk (36988)

•

15 Jan 16

@swissheart To which point? Does he earn more than you or less?

2 people like this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

@kevin1877uk he does that to a certain point

3 people like this

peggy baker

@softbabe44 (5816)

• Vancouver, Washington

15 Jan 16

Could he be spending it on hobbies gambling or owe someone else money for a habit or even blowing it things need to be talked about.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

he intends to raise money to buy himself a car. but is this a reason to support him financially?

2 people like this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

16 Jan 16

@softbabe44 there are moments when I also ask myself this question

1 person likes this

peggy baker

@softbabe44 (5816)

• Vancouver, Washington

16 Jan 16

@swissheart Does he really care about how you feel about things

S George

@shshiju (10342)

• Cochin, India

15 Jan 16

Battle, Discussion, Agreement , Anything But you had to prefer

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

what would you do in my situation?

2 people like this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

@shshiju that's an interesting point of view. I will take it into consideration

2 people like this

S George

@shshiju (10342)

• Cochin, India

15 Jan 16

@swissheart I like it you divert it like a boomerang Lol OK I will arrange the all systematically At first Discussion and hearing his side second Agreement Or If he denies the Last solution - Battle Lol

1 person likes this

maezee

@maezee (41988)

• United States

14 Jan 16

That's a tough place to be......I do think it's normal -- but it seems unfair that he is not trying to buy any groceries or do any of the shopping - THAT adds up! My sister and her husband seem to have a decent system --- they split everything completely down the middle. I think that's the best way to go. Hopefully your man gets on board soon.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

we used to do that to a certain extent. but it seems that lately he expects me to pay for the food and I don't think its' normal

1 person likes this

Jaymie Suh

@cherriefic (10399)

• Philippines

15 Jan 16

Argument about money is really sensitive between partners. But you have to talk about it as that's the reason why you're partners. You can't just shoulder everything on your own.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

I wouldn't want to take responsability of all the bills either. plus I don't think it's fair

1 person likes this

Sensei

@early3 (60)

• Philippines

15 Jan 16

Better to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend and discuss with him what you think and feel. By doing this you will be avoiding further discussions that may lead to an endless arguments.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

I don't know how to bring up this matter

1 person likes this

Teep11

@Teep11 (7673)

• United States

15 Jan 16

Money issues can create havoc in a relationship. You both have to agree how to disburse the finances. Having a good conversation will help.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

I will try to talk to him about it because it seems like we desperately need it

1 person likes this

Robert

@lokisdad (4226)

• United States

14 Jan 16

You might want to address the problem mismanagement of funds can cause bigger problems down the road. you might want to put a budget plan into place especially if you know that he is doing something he shouldn't with this funds like gambling.

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

he doesn't do any gambling or at least I don't think so.He;s trying to raise money to buy a car but he can't expect me to support him financially because of that. it's not like we're married

1 person likes this

Robert

@lokisdad (4226)

• United States

16 Jan 16

@swissheart does having a car not benefit you as well? Married or not that is part of a relationship you support the other person and carry them especially when they are attempting to do something that will benefit you both. My wife has supported me and I her no keeping tabs and whats hers is mines and mines is hers. If you can't do this now then you two will never be able to do so as a married couple. Its a piece of paper that gives you legal rights and benefits nothing more. If you look at it as you are two separate entities then you won't do well as a married couple either because when you couple up its you two joining and working as one. Its no longer you and I its us and we. Its hard to do but its just how it is.

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

16 Jan 16

@lokisdad and what if I contribute too to a good that he buys on his name and the following month he decides to leave me?

1 person likes this

Ann LeFlore

@poehere (15123)

• French Polynesia

14 Jan 16

I think in this situation you should have a joint account only for household bills and food. Each one of you adds so much each payday to the account. You pay for food and all bills out of this account. That way there is no more need for fights. Or just do like I had to do one time before we started this. I decided to stop eating at home. I would stop on the way home and grab a bite to eat. Then at night when it came to cooking and cleaning I would say oh sorry I was hungry and I ate. Just go ahead and make what you want and be sure to clean up after yourself. When there is nothing left in the home to cook they will either be forced to buy food or go hungry.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

that is what I intend to do

1 person likes this

Ann LeFlore

@poehere (15123)

• French Polynesia

15 Jan 16

@swissheart Good for you. Then you still have your money, he has his and there is enough in the account to pay all the bills and buy food.

1 person likes this

Janet Anderson

@Auntylou (4264)

• Oxford, England

14 Jan 16

Maybe he owes money or has a gambling habit

1 person likes this

@kevin1877uk (36988)

•

14 Jan 16

Maybe so and she doesn't know about.

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

@kevin1877uk I don't think he gambles knowing the way I know him but it's true that people bring you the most un-wanted surprises.he's the one loaning money to his firends so I don't think he owes anyone money

2 people like this

Faiz Hussain

@deilkiller3 (53)

• Delhi, India

15 Jan 16

yeah the same i am facing and thats the reason we are running on to such websites right?

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

17 Jan 16

do you also have similar issues?

1 person likes this

Faiz Hussain

@deilkiller3 (53)

• Delhi, India

17 Jan 16

@swissheart yeah same

scheng1

@scheng1 (24649)

• Singapore

15 Jan 16

I think he is seriously in debt, and the debt has gotten out of hand. I think you have to get him to tell you how bad his situation is. Ask for his credit card statement, bank statement, and not just rely on his words. I just hope that he is not looking for an excuse to breakup with you.

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

we will see if this relationship ends because of this

Big Money Talk

@BigMoney25 (1286)

• Philippines

16 Jan 16

yeah it's normal because you have to agree on when and where you both are spending your money and both just want the best out of the money they earn for the sake of themselves. don't worry much, it's a given thing I can say.

mylot

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

17 Jan 16

but how to work things out?

Sky

@skysnap (20153)

•

15 Jan 16

I think its normal. depending on how the money issues are, they can be healthy and unhealthy. most of the solvable money issues are healthy. but you jus thave to work on them one at a time.

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

15 Jan 16

what solution do you see?

1 person likes this

@swissheart (6482)

• Romania

16 Jan 16

@skysnap we'll see where this goes

Sky

@skysnap (20153)

•

16 Jan 16

@swissheart Time and patience. These two are solution to almost every problem. It's just that while these two are at work we have to adjust and handle our ego.