Finally moved on - 100% forgiven and forgotten

@Drosophila (16571)
Ireland
January 20, 2016 7:21am CST
Facebook tells me that my ex just got engaged! I looked at the pictures of the happy couple I feel quite pleased. They look good together. I left him some 4 years ago after I found out he was having lots of fun elsewhere. I was furious for a very very long time. Now I feel genuinely pleased for him. He has finally grown up! I hope our paths never crosses again. I have finally 100% forgiven and forgotten our past. Such a great feeling! Do you still talk to your ex?
40 people like this
46 responses
@JudyEv (342277)
• Rockingham, Australia
20 Jan 16
I don't have an ex but I'm glad you've been able to forgive yours. Now you can forget him too.
5 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Aww that's good to hear! Thanks thanks! I don't think I'll forget him, he was my first "real" love and I guess in some capacity I'll always love him.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 16
I didn't talk to my x when I was married to him LOL....no...no need to.
4 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
20 Jan 16
lol.. don't tell me you talk to him AFTER you were no longer married xD
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 16
@Drosophila Only once, about 19 years ago....that was enough.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
@AbbyGreenhill HAHAHA! Nice one!
2 people like this
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
20 Jan 16
How do you know he has finally grown up? I just hope that the lady makes the right decision. Sometimes a person just does not change, and there is nothing much anyone else can do about it.
3 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
That's true indeed! He's able to at least commit to her, I hope he'll be more responsible with her. He seemed to have grown up a bit in terms of attitude to life, but yes you're right, I could be wrong.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 16
Yes, I still talk with my ex. In fact, we are actually really good friends and help each other out all the time.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
21 Jan 16
@purplealabaster - If you still talk to your ex then he is your present not 'ex'.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jan 16
@Drosophila Not really. I mean, there is a period of adjustment where you have to be extra careful of the other person's feelings, but that fades with time. Once that is over, it is just like any other relationship pretty much. I still love him and he still loves me, but we are not IN LOVE with each other.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
That's great! I'm not friends with any of my exes. So am curious, was it difficult switching from romantic interactions to just friendly get togethers
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jan 16
The only X I may consider speaking with would be my very first. He also is married with lovely children for many years now. We are not in contact but I consider he did not harm me (much) as the other assortment of Xs did. I am happy you have moved on. I have moved on from all of them, happy and at peace now.
2 people like this
• United States
21 Jan 16
@Drosophila It is good for your Wendy to do so..and you are great to do it. No point really in sulking around right? Too much fun living to be done. I hope you stay at peace.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
@TiarasOceanView Thanks thanks! ya I did wonder at one point if I could forgive the guy ever.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Oh ya isn't it the most wonderful feeling ever! Letting go is great :)
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
20 Jan 16
That would be difficult as I don't have one. I'm glad that you have moved on.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (64354)
• United Kingdom
21 Jan 16
@Drosophila No -no ex - I've kept the one I've got for 50 years
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
@jaboUK Wow! It's good to hear that in our "fast-paced" consumerism culture, something are build to last
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Wow no ex! Result, I have two so not too bad
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
21 Jan 16
Seemingly, you are still obsessed with your ex else you would not have written a post about him. Let bygone be bygone. It is better to bury the past and move ahead. Remembering about past things could make you sad.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
22 Jan 16
@Drosophila - Do you mean to say that you had wonderful time with your ex and you still cherish those moments?
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Lol. that was it, it does not make me sad. That was the point of the post. Don't talk about it doesn't mean forgiven or forgotten. When you truly have done so, then you can talk about it with no negative feelings. And we shouldn't forget the all our past, because it's what made us who we are. So good to remember it to avoid future mistakes. I prefer to forget only the bad history and remember the good times.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
22 Jan 16
@dpk262006 not exactly, I have good memories of that time altogether... Not specifically about him, but just that period of life, think my brain did the filtering
1 person likes this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
21 Jan 16
I live in a different country.
1 person likes this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
21 Jan 16
@Drosophila I didn't leave the country because of them I left 20 years later. I just wanted to ensure it was in there as a reason.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
@pgiblett awww, there was I thinking you were chased out of the country by the love sick women xD
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
I left my country to get away from my ex too :D
1 person likes this
@moondebi (1199)
• Bangalore, India
20 Jan 16
I don't have an ex to talk about, but I am happy for you. I do not know whether your ex has grown up, but you definitely have got over.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Thanks thanks!! I hope he has, he was able to be responsible and show commitment to a girl that's already a big step. :) But yes you're right, after all these years I no longer harbour any negative feelings towards him. It felt great.
@gr8nana6 (6614)
• Conyers, Georgia
21 Jan 16
I do still talk to my ex ever once in a while. He lives in Nevada and I figure since he is so sick I try to listen to him. Everyone needs someone to talk to.
2 people like this
@yugocean (9963)
• India
21 Jan 16
this is human touch
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
That is very kind of you!
@boiboing (13153)
• Northampton, England
20 Jan 16
I am facebook friends with two exes, one from when I was 18 and another from when I was 21.
2 people like this
@just4him (317315)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
22 Jan 16
I'm glad you have forgiven and forgotten. So if you never want to cross paths, why are you friends on Facebook?
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
22 Jan 16
Thanks thanks! Because we were friends on Facebook before we broke up. It feels odd now to "unfriend" him. My Facebook is full of "friends" I have no intentions of getting in involved with further, as I don't ever post anything personal there.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
25 Jan 16
@just4him yep, Facebook for me is just something I add people to and forget. I don't spend time on it or anything.
1 person likes this
@just4him (317315)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
24 Jan 16
@Drosophila That's good then.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (15512)
• United Kingdom
20 Jan 16
No, I don't talk to any of my exes but I'd say if I saw any of them I would as I'm not on unfriendly terms with any of them
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
That's good! Ya am trying to avoid my first ex, he was a bit extreme
2 people like this
@yugocean (9963)
• India
21 Jan 16
exes you are not unfriendly it is known
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Jan 16
I read this and genuinely felt good for you. I ironically just wrote about relationships and when its time to leave and here I am now because my feed put you on top on the trending. I am glad I found it, it's nice to see people actually be adults and feel happy for someone else, even if they hurt them for a long time. Good luck, Wendy, but something tells me you won't need it where you are going. :)
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Thank you! Thank you! Best luck to you as well. :D
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
21 Jan 16
I don't talk to my ex. I'm glad that you've forgiven him and such.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
21 Jan 16
@Drosophila there are times when we all feel like that. Sometimes we need time.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
thanks thanks! ya me too, although at one point, it felt like I never would
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
@dodo19 That's definitely the case for me :D
@kevin1877uk (36988)
21 Jan 16
I still get on ok ex-wife but never would go back, mistake in the first place. We talk but mainly it's for the kids other wise I wouldn't think so. My last partner we may email once a week but it's seeing how we are and anything more. It would be nice if things changed however I can't see that happening. I think the door is closed there, I'm move on and have a new outlook into the future.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
23 Jan 16
@Drosophila Yeah it is :)
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
That is good to hear, ya moving on is very important.
1 person likes this
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
21 Jan 16
Some months ago he has called me after we met in facebook. We never met about 13 years. Until now, he still single, he said that he difficult to find a girl that make him love again. Now, He never call me again and I never call him, too. Everything was changed. I do not want to remind what happen in the past. I prefer look at the future. I think everything is over.
1 person likes this
@srisahara (4508)
• Indonesia
23 Jan 16
@Drosophila Yes, agree with you...Have a great day!
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@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Aww that's such a touching story..you're right, our lives lie with present and future. Not in the past. RIP ghosts of the exes :D
1 person likes this
@yalul070 (1713)
• Manila, Philippines
21 Jan 16
Ex-boyfriends? No. It would be awkward for me, mainly because I still feel sorry for leaving them because I was never ready for a real relationship until the man I married came. I really hope they have forgiven and forgotten me.
1 person likes this
@yugocean (9963)
• India
21 Jan 16
You did not marry any of your ex-boyfriends, and you were not ready for real relationship, so now you are married perhaps
2 people like this
@yalul070 (1713)
• Manila, Philippines
22 Jan 16
@yugocean yes I am married
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Happy you have met the person you enjoy being with. So many people out there, yet so few people we could spend all the time with. So good to hear you've found one.
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
21 Jan 16
I have a theory about men who 'have lots of fun elsewhere', to coin a phrase!!! They've done it once, they'll most likely do it again! You're probably best off out of it!! Glad to see it's not causing you any pain these days. I'm not in contact with any ex girlfriends. Mainly due to the fact they are from Newcastle and London and I've lived in Manchester for the past 25 years. I'm pretty sure things would be civil with all of them though!
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Oh ya! he was always a "fun-loving", and charismatic guy, he likes women and have lots of women friends. He's Mrs has her work cut out for her alright. Ya am sure after 25 years.. they sure wouldn't bear a grudge. :D
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
22 Jan 16
@WorDazza HAHAHA ofc! ya I get you male-female friendships do happen. One of my bestie is a guy, and he's more like a brother to me than anything else.
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
22 Jan 16
@Drosophila Not that they'd have anything to bear a grudge over!!! This is me your talking about. I'm perfect don't ya know?? I have had lots of women friends over the years and one of my closest friends is a woman (who rather ironically now lives in Sweden!!!). My wife really likes her and me and her husband are good friends too! Doesn't have to lead to anything else!!
1 person likes this
@akkiin (6)
• New Delhi, India
21 Jan 16
Forgetting your past is the best way of moving ahead in life if u keep on thinking about you past you will never get happiness in future nor u will be able to make new relationships
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
21 Jan 16
Agreed. I don't think about my past constantly, I don't want to completely forget it either, as long as it does not interfere with the future plans. Everything and everyone has their place in my heart. :) In fact, I prefer to forget all about the badness and just take the good stuff with me. :D
1 person likes this
• New Delhi, India
22 Jan 16
@Drosophila completely agree with you just keep the good vibes and forget the negativity for your better future ...
1 person likes this