Question about the Difference between grandchild and great grandchild....
By tess1960
@tess1960 (2385)
United States
February 7, 2016 9:45am CST
Ok so in our family I have a granddaughter whose birthday is in August (turned 16 in 2015) and a niece whose birthday is in Jan. (again turned 16 this year). We play an adult gift exchange every year. The kids have heir choice of joining the adults at age 16 or 18. With the game you get one gift. I Mentioned before the annual family Christmas party that my granddaughter gets to choose this year but not the niece. My mother made it plain that both girls should be treated equally. They both stayed in the kids group.
My granddaughter got a $5.00 bill for her birthday from granny. My niece got a full size quilt for her birthday. I asked when her great grand daughter was getting one. My mom responded she got one as a baby. Well yes she did and it was not even crib size plus my niece got a baby blanket too. So here is my question. Do I have the right to feel bad for my granddaughter and a bit upset with my mom for NOT treating them equally?
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4 responses
@maggs224 (2320)
• Alicante, Spain
7 Feb 16
I am not sure that I follow the rules of gift giving in your family, Your granddaughter and your nice are I assume your mother's great-granddaughter and granddaughter. The first thing that hits me is how wonderful it must be to have such a loving family. Four generations that is awesome. I wish my parents were still alive, I would not care if they never bought anything for my children just to have them and their love again would be more than enough.
I suppose you can compare gifts and treatments and claim the right to be upset and become offended but I don't think that that would be the best thing to do for anyone.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (10145)
• United States
7 Feb 16
You have the right to feel however you feel about any situation, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. Nobody can dictate feelings to us.
That aside, does she perceive her relationship with your niece as being closer than that with your granddaughter? Is she just more concerned with keeping up appearances at gatherings than actually playing fair with the girls in practice?
@tess1960 (2385)
• United States
8 Feb 16
Mom has always treated her grandchild much better than her great grandchild. Overnighters, trips to museums, entire weeks at grandmas house, over and over and over. And her great granddaughter begging for visits and feeling left out. I guess after 16 years of watching this and now the "treat them the same" comment and then the quilt I just want to boil over....but know silence is best. So this discussion is my venting place, to keep peace in the family. And I will make her a full sized quilt. My goal is her 18th birthday.
@yukimori (10145)
• United States
8 Feb 16
@tess1960 Ugh, that's one thing I just won't tolerate from relatives. Am I wrong in supposing that this may be a continuation of a dynamic that's been in place since you and the niece's parent were children? That seems to be a common trend... a parent favors one child over the other, and then continues to favor that child's offspring over any other grandchildren they might have. So damaging.
Sometimes it's not worth keeping the peace in the family, but with something that's gone on for so long there probably isn't much that you can do.
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