Discussions and Responses – Occasional Slip between the Cup and the Lip
By Shiva
@Shiva49 (26670)
Singapore
February 7, 2016 10:15am CST
I look forward to the interaction with other members on online sites I am in. And that is the lifeline of this site that makes us eager to share our thoughts and understand others. It is good that we have people with varied backgrounds willing to come to a level ground for no holds barred interaction with a hope that others benefit from their input. Some have had in depth experiences on what they share, be it discussions or responses.
Though I take a lot of care before putting up discussion topics or in responding to others, I still find I am off the mark at times when I revisit my posts. This applies especially to responses as they seem to miss the point, the gist of what the discussion was driving at. I might have also not given due credit to the author by digressing from the crux of the issue raised. Occasionally, I might have come out as rather rude, even crude, though I like a bit of banter to enliven the posts. I appreciate how much care we take “not to upset the apple cart” of harmony of this site.
However, the unity in diversity is palpable and the motivation of the many who are so eager to support, even hold hands of, those who are taking their first step on online sites. They look at the positive side in our interactions when some might well be not that thoughtful in how they articulate their thoughts. I appreciate the few who go out of the way to keep the balance of this site not only with their wise counsel but also by thinking of ways to add value on an ongoing basis. For myself, I have been going with the spirit of what this site is about and enjoying a fulfilling journey. When the base is strong, yet flexible, we can confidently build an edifice that endures.
What is your take on Responses to the Discussions?
26 people like this
24 responses
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
7 Feb 16
I'm afraid I don't put as much thought into posts here as I have done on previous sites where I've written more seriously, so good on you for considering carefully what you are posting. Re the responses, sometimes I find it best to bite one's tongue and walk away without saying anything 
7 people like this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
8 Feb 16
That is why I ask for clarification if someone posts something that doesn't sound right. I have been here long enough (and I know this is worldwide) that if all I do is ask what someone meant, then he or she can explain it and the confusion is cleared up most of the time.
4 people like this
@innertalks (21910)
• Australia
8 Feb 16
@Shiva49 Even if their shoes pinch sometimes, you do this. You are truly a humble chappy, siva, and I appreciate that side of your character.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
8 Feb 16
@innertalks Thanks Steve, just enjoy and then enjoy whenever I can is my motto and lifestyle - then at least those memories can be chewed on in bad times! I don't really lose being a humble chappy! siva
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
7 Feb 16
What you will sometimes find is that people do not read the entire discussion therefore their comments might not make sense. Then again, some of us go off on tangents but that doens't bother me at all. This isn't rocket science. it should be fun.
5 people like this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
8 Feb 16
@paigea When we come a long way in life with memories stored in they do create a riot of reactions that we are in a hurry to get them out. I too am like that at times. We need not be "politically correct" but we tend to take more care than the politicians! siva
2 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 Feb 16
Hello Siva
I have been here for a while now and I have seen and even got into almost everything - from being on the receiving sides to the funny sides to the on the spot to even out of nowhere. As you mention people come from different mindsets, it is also more likely that as you stay here longer, you do get into friendships. And friendships, I am sure you would understand, has no bounds - a topic is thrown by a friend and another can just be around with a completely off-topic response. Not many do that, but I at times do it. I have my own reasons - maybe it has been a while I have not seen my friend(s) around or even, maybe I know something that I need to clarify or even it can be something being carried over from another previous conversation.
I know, my approach has not been liked by many, and so I do not behave this way with all around. Only a few select people whom I know, will not mind my chattering.
Then, there are some people around whom I can never play around with - be it out of respect or anything else but it is that way. For instance, Owlwings - I can never play around on his discussions - and no, this is only because of my heartfelt respect for him, his knowledge and his aura.
My take is - take it as it happens. I am here for fun, interaction and making friends. Nothing beyond. And this is why I never over exert myself on thinking what to post as a response - to many on whose discussions I am regular.
3 people like this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
9 Feb 16
@Shiva49 Of course. There is a saying in India which roughly translates to - when there are utensils around they will clash and there will be noise. Same not only happens in real life but also in the Online world. People here, come from varied cultures, traditions and mindsets - so definitely, things may not be acceptable at times - but the best part is that we can always move on to the next place rather than stop and focus on spreading unhappiness.
As for being detailed, somehow I love and prefer to write more. Thanks for your mentioning it and liking it.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
9 Feb 16
Thanks for your detailed response about your experiences. I am glad to receive such feedback to understand where others come from and to clarify my position as well.
We should invite the variety in responses with a view to make the site lively. Of course, there can be misunderstandings in the way we react and respond but that should not deter our free interaction and toe a line without a need to. Of course, some want to keep it strictly business and we have to respect their space.
We should not impose self censorship and as long as we have a reason for the way we respond and to enhance the value of the site we should press on to make it worthwhile for us and others too - siva
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
10 Feb 16
@thesids I appreciate your take and well said. You air my views too in this regard. We can disagree but not to an extent to shoot the messenger. Online sites like these help us to understand where others come from even better than mass media that generally has an agenda. Agree to disagree should help us move on than keep harping on disagreements. One has to be happy to make others happy, so we should move to equilibrium like I do always - otherwise, we are only punishing ourselves.
I too like to make my points clear even if it means a bit detailed, thanks - siva
1 person likes this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
7 Feb 16
I love to answer all discussions and I've done it all day but go to work.
Today with us is Sunday and I'm active here.
I love to write to give them advice and to ask advice from them because there is nothing better than this to say what they torment and harass and make new friends who will help you with different advice.
3 people like this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
7 Feb 16
@Shiva49 thank you very much friend exactly is a must to help and to be together.
3 people like this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
7 Feb 16
@nezavisima We are all in this to comfort each other - siva
2 people like this
@Bluedoll (16773)
• Canada
8 Feb 16
@Shiva49 Not sure what you meant? Truthful? To be truthful still trying to figure out the title? Do you think it might be a question of style? Some people will go with short and sweet will read a few lines and comment for example while others like myself on this post will read all of the post, all of the comments and understood most of it. What are we talking about? Help. 
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
8 Feb 16
@Bluedoll You had mentioned responses. What I meant was we have to be truthful in what we say than say something just for responses sake. When we say what we mean and also mean what we say - it enhances the value of discussion and our responses too - siva
1 person likes this
@paigea (36317)
• Canada
7 Feb 16
I sometimes find the responses I get do miss what I considered my point. But generally I can see they responded to something in my post. And that is what I do when I am responding. Something catches me and provokes a thought. So I may miss the main point often as well.
4 people like this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
8 Feb 16
Well said, I go with that. We did get a response and do that too. That itself is motivating for our efforts. Come to think of it, at another level, despite our best efforts no one "out there" cares to respond to our plaintive cry to contact us! siva
4 people like this
@innertalks (21910)
• Australia
8 Feb 16
I guess I only post my comments to topics which I think that I can add something too, or ones that I have some interest in the topic.
I do like to see what people think about what I wrote, at times, but for me, I seem to get more from the writing, and then I become so lost up in that so much, I do not really give enough time to making comments and responses.
I am not good at responding, because I often do go way off topic, or talk about some side issue instead...LOL...I can't seem to get into the groove of the writing, when making responses, as much as I can when I am writing my own discussion topic.
This is not a good way to write here at mylot though, now is it?
I notice that if you just write new topics, without doing much else, your writing is largely ignored, and you also do not get paid from just writing new topics here it seems either.
You only seem to get paid from inter-reactive responses, and comments.
Whereas on other writing sites which I have written too, you got mostly paid by the number of views to your articles, and sometimes too, from the comments being made as well.
@innertalks (21910)
• Australia
8 Feb 16
@Shiva49 "I like easy conversational topics about daily lives that people share here most which I can connect with."
Yes, this details what this site is about at its heart, I think.
It is from our daily lives that any deepness must grow as well though. We need to start from where we are, and from whom we are, and yet on the way, it certainly helps if we can be flexible too, as you point out, flexibility builds balance.
Me, I have always found it hard to make small talk, and it is even harder for me to listen to others small talk too.
For some reasons, my mindset thinks that because my time here is short and precious, I like to skip the shallow paddling, and dive straight off the pier into the deep end.
Of course, it helps too, if you can swim, and also if there are no sharks lurking out there in the deeper waters, as well.
I am not a strong swimmer either, but I would rather drown in deep waters, than paddle about in shallow waters for all of my life.
This is just me though, and at my age, it might be hard for me to change now. I am rather used to the deeper, cooler waters, I'm afraid...LOL...
@innertalks (21910)
• Australia
8 Feb 16
@innertalks Of course our mind grows deeper by our sharing it with others. This is the multiplier affect, brought about by connection.
I have probably missed out on finding many a pretty shell, or pearl of wisdom in those shallow waters.
It gets back again to balance, doesn't it siva?
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
8 Feb 16
I feel each site has a soul made up of stalwarts at the site than the the TOS and Guides; they set the standards and trend.. I can feel the pulse of this site is the wholesome interactions to keep the conversation going.
As you know Steve, I sort of reveled in comments and responses on other sites too. I know your style is different as you are more thoughtful and detailed building up your ideas and posts.
I like to banter about but I have to be mindful where I am! However, I like easy conversational topics about daily lives that people share here most which I can connect with.
This site pays more for interactions with as wider a circle as possible. And I think if one does not post discussions the payments also taper off! So my byword "balance" comes into play.
I like the serious stuff though, but it is more of hard work than being here though we can still get our message across. So it boils down to being flexible with our style - siva
2 people like this
@allknowing (136196)
• India
11 Mar 16
I normally prefer short posts so that I can go through them carefully and respond appropriately. I doubt if I am guilty of fumbling here save may be a few typos here and there.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (136196)
• India
11 Mar 16
@Shiva49 I am here since almost 7 years. I have been on other sites and consider this to be the best, specially the attention we get from Admin.
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
11 Mar 16
My take was we should enjoy what we do and the best way is to encourage each other. Every writing site is unique and members are the soul while guidelines can give us directions to operate within the broad framework.
I think this has been the best site I have been on taking all into consideration - siva
1 person likes this
@moirai (2853)
• Philippines
14 Apr 16
Well... responses to discussions would depend on a number of things that are related to the discussion or post itself, as well as the mindset of the person responding.
For instance, the longer a post is, there are more parts of it that the responder might choose to focus on: Would I respond in answer to the question you posed? Would I comment on the care taken before putting up discussions and responses that you mentioned? Would I give an opinion about, or share what I do, when I find responses that seem to have missed the point of the discussion? Or would I join you in saluting those who help and assist the newcomers and give them good advice and guidance? Or perhaps, I might choose to tackle all of the above, time permitting.
And then there's the differences of where we all come from. One's use and understanding of the language may be different between the OP and the responder, especially since we are not all native English speakers, and our command of it may be at different levels. I might be misunderstanding what you are asking here, and therefore my response might be off because I was responding based on how I understood the post, which might be different from how you meant it. Or perhaps, as someone else has mentioned, it's just that the thing that jumped out at me from the post and provoked a thought was not the main issue.
In the end, I would welcome any response I get for my posts. Except, of course, those that are obviously just spammy. 
1 person likes this
@Shiva49 (26670)
• Singapore
14 Apr 16
That is a great comment detailing why the comments are just different.
Yes, some part of the discussion that touched a raw nerve might evoke a response exclusive to that part only and missing the main gist of the post.
I enjoy reading and understanding them and they enrich the discussion topic even giving a new way to look at the issue.
Your points are well articulated and I appreciate them - siva
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40290)
• Laguna Woods, California
10 Feb 16
I agree with @valmnz. I write some serious pieces on other sites, so I enjoy writing ones that are quick and easy here. This is my place to go when I want to relax while writing.
1 person likes this
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
10 Feb 16
@DeborahDiane definitely a place to chill out and give the brain a rest
1 person likes this
@whiteream (8567)
• United States
8 Feb 16
Honestly, I am here for the fun of it. I love being able to interact getting to know, people that I have known from other sites better. There are some discussions that I will read every response because it is just that good. Sometime, I just don't know what to say so I like just like the the discussion. I try to add to the discussion. I do admit, to misunderstanding a couple here and there.
2 people like this
