who in the hell invented the toilet ??

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After 36 years I've finally snapped , I'm not sure if there are fellow dudes out there who think the same as me but I'd like to get my hands on who invented the toilet!!!! I think for us men we have been set up like a bad prank, I was away for the weekend and couldn't find a urinal anywhere just a stupid toilet or what I say a giant tea cup for us guys to piss in.!!! It's BS man it's made for us to fail straight away and I'm sure woman hate going in after us too. Without sitting down there's really no way for us to aim 100%. Sure we may be able to whip it out anywhere at anytime and take a leak that's all good and well until there's a giant tea cup. It's like our arch enemy it really is your always gonna miss a little whether it be too much or too little front or back then we have to cover up our mistake with a quick very quick spring clean and wipe the damage so it looks okay right!!! Come on guys you know what I mean right.!! Urinals are our friends, toilets or tea cups are our enermy..!!!! I swear it's like the old west you swing open the door and there it is face to face staring back at you , you wipe your brow or moustache left and the. Right thinking now please let me just for once have a good piss so you walk forward chest puffed out trying to dominate the obvious angst in the air hahaha Just a joke I know women hate that we miss but with all due respect have no idea what it's like to use one ( meaning no disrespect ) Some woman say we have control over it so it's our bad aim right ???? Here's the thing I have better control over my mouth right and can hold water in it at will , move left right etc.... But just you try at home grab a tea cup put it on your bench and use it like a spittoon say about 1 foot way gulp some water and then take a try to spit it back into the tea cup I bet you don't have a dry bench. Sure at first you may get the odd one but 8/10 times there always collateral damage lol Do you see our conundrum ???? Surely I'm not alone in this come on guys lets hear your side ??