Do you regret having children?
By Fleur
@Fleura (30541)
United Kingdom
February 15, 2016 6:08am CST
I saw an article about this recently; someone had posted the question on a web forum and lots of people had replied saying yes, they did.
I was a bit surprised that so many people would say yes, as I thought regret over having children would be something you might experience if those children did something really terrible – for example if they ran away to fight and carry out atrocities for “Islamic State” or carried out a massacre at a school or grew up to be a violent rapist or murderer.
In fact the people who said they regretted having children were just complaining about mundane things like having to deal with schools or giving up their Saturdays to watch junior football games.
Really? I mean many (perhaps most) parents dislike having to do tedious tasks, deal with bureaucratic organisations who can’t manage advance planning, pretend an interest in things that perhaps they do not share, but they are all for a short time, and someone did those things for all of us, is that really so much to ask that you would rather the person for whom you do them did not exist?
All rights reserved. © copyright Fleur 2016.
47 people like this
56 responses
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
15 Feb 16
I tend to agree with @ScribbledAdNauseum. Also, I think the parents who answered yes, by and large, are selfishly resenting the time they spend doing things with and for their children that they could be spending satisfying their own hedonistic desires.
My wife and I, one or both of us, made every game, every Scout meeting, and every school event that our boys were involved in and neither of us regretted a moment of it. It broke our hearts to see the faces of the kids whose parents couldn't be bothered to show up.
11 people like this
@DWDavis (25805)
• United States
16 Feb 16
@tallawah As a teacher, I have often become a pseudo-parent to a child whose own parents don't show them much love or attention. Often these are the students who stay in trouble because negative attention is better than no attention. I try to show them how much better it feels to earn positive attention.
4 people like this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 16
I think there's a difference between putting up with tedious tasks and truly regretting their cause! I mean I resent having to wash my partner's socks but I don't consider that enough to regret the13 happy years we have spent together so far!
3 people like this
@dodo19 (47336)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
15 Feb 16
Honestly I don't understand these people. I have kids, and sure it's not always easy. It can be difficult. But that doesn't mean I don't love them and regret having them. But this is just me. At the end of the day, we're all different.
5 people like this
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
15 Feb 16
It is the same in Singapore.
Many working adults are not willing to sacrifice their careers to start a family.
Ultimately those who did sacrifice careers to start a family, and later to quit their jobs to take care of children feel inferior.
They do not have their own savings since they are out of workforce for a long time.
It is no guarantee that their family life is happy too.
6 people like this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 16
That is a shame, but it is a problem of the social system in which children and the work involved in bringing them up are not valued. But if there were no children there would be no future for any of the careers people think are so important.
3 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104628)
• United States
15 Feb 16
Do you think they could just be releasing pent up aggravation? That they don't truly mean it? I can't see that they would truly regret it myself.
I don't have children. My sister has two, and though she used to say she never would have kids, I can tell that she really does love her kids. I don't think she regrets it at all.
5 people like this
@Scindhia (1906)
• India
16 Feb 16
@ScribbledAdNauseum That is a nice angle. Pent up frustration and telling what they don't mean is a possible scenario.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61101)
• United States
15 Feb 16
Some people are so self centered that they don't appreciate the amazing gift that children are to their lives. They don't deserve to be parents especially when so many people would give anything to be able to go to those games. I have never regretted my 3 children for even a second, they are the joy of my life and my greatest accomplishment.
4 people like this
@Scindhia (1906)
• India
16 Feb 16
@BelleStarr I agree with your first statement. I know couple of really bad parents who shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
2 people like this
@DanieGirl80587 (2713)
• United States
15 Feb 16
I just don't understand how people can regret their kids. Having kids is such a blessing. Of course they can drive you crazy from time to time, but that's part of it. I would never ever regret my son.
3 people like this
@DanieGirl80587 (2713)
• United States
15 Feb 16
@Fleura Yeah it's kind of a lifetime thing. Even when they are 18 and can be kicked out, they are still your child regardless.
3 people like this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 16
@DanieGirl80587 Absolutely, when they grow up and do good or bad things they can still make you feel proud or ashamed, even if they are 60 years old already!
2 people like this
@WorDazza (15830)
• Manchester, England
15 Feb 16
I wouldn't say I regretted having children. I am, however, ruthlessly honest about what a pain in the backside the process of bringing them up was.
If I'm being totally honest, if Mrs WorDazza hadn't wanted kids it wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.
3 people like this
@patgalca (18391)
• Orangeville, Ontario
15 Feb 16
@Fleura Except that if I had continued in university or stayed in a certain job, I might have married richer and had more children and never gotten sick. One never knows. Once those choices are made we have to do our best to make the best of what life hands us.
3 people like this
@rosekiss (30414)
• Eugene, Oregon
15 Feb 16
I have never regretted having children, as they are my life, and I don't know what I would do without them. I love them so much and all six of my grand kids too. My son lives here in Oregon, as that is where I live, and my daughter ives in St Louis, MO. I do miss being with her, but I do talk to her everyday. I never did regret having children even when they were growing up, as I loved takign them to things like band practive and such.
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30414)
• Eugene, Oregon
15 Feb 16
@Fleura Yes I am. I do miss seeing my daughter though as she lives so far away, but at least we can talk everyday and keep in touch. My son I see weekly so that is good there. He comes here and does things for me that need doing, and I can't do, so it is really nice having him so close, as he is only 21 miles away from me.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
16 Feb 16
It's sad that they regretted having children . They can just say that because maybe they have lots of children which can really drain their pockets and time .
But what i regret is that we only have one child . Had we not had family planning for 4 years after giving birth , maybe i could have bore another child. 
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Feb 16
I do not regret having my children at all and I cannot believe parents feel that way- how sad! My kids are my entire world, I had them because I want them. People never fail to amaze me.
3 people like this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
16 Feb 16
I don't regret not having children in a world facing such an uncertain future
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44998)
• Preston, England
17 Feb 16
@Fleura global warming, economic disaster, increased terrorism and unemployment - the next generation is going to really suffer
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
17 Feb 16
@arthurchappell I think we've been lucky to live in a sort of golden age of peace and prosperity. For most of history life was really hard and often short and parents had to do their best to prepare their children for the worst, if they even lived long enough. Now perhaps the party's over.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45494)
• United States
15 Feb 16
I don't have kids and I don't regret that decision at all.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (41747)
• United States
15 Feb 16
Even with the heartache and troubles that we've had with our children (and what parents haven't?), the blessings far outweigh the rest of it. And of course, then there are the grandchildren. Remember the old joke, "If I had know how wonderful grandkids would be, I'd have had them first!"
But not everyone is cut out to be parents. My granddaughter doesn't want to have children and that's her right to make that choice. She may change her mind...sometimes little "accidents" turn out to be a great blessings!
3 people like this
@Fleura (30541)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 16
Yes grandparents often enjoy their grandchildren more than their own children, but perhaps that's because they are less stressed about everything and can have a break from them too! Perhaps your granddaughter may change her mind, but perhaps not, at least as long as she is not the only one there is less pressure on her to 'come up with the goods' and instead she can be a wonderful auntie/cousin/friend to other children. I had several childless relatives when I was growing up and they made wonderful contributions to my life!
3 people like this
